The Return of Jafar (1994 Video)
Jafar: If it weren't for *me*, you'd still be in a cage at the bazaar squawking, "Polly want a cracker"!
Iago: The street rat is living in the palace now? Aah! That does it! All reports are in! Life is now officially unfair!
Iago: I've got sand in places I didn't even know I had!
Jafar: [heard from inside his lamp] Spare me your prattling, Iago. Are we out yet?
Iago: [mimcking Jafar] 'Are we out yet? Are we out yet?' Yes, we're out!
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [hesitating on freeing Jafar] Wait... how do I know that these things won't disappear once I set you free?
Jafar: [losing it] The more pressing question is, how will you stay alive if you DON'T?
Jafar: That was two wishes. Take your time with the third.
Jafar: Or you will wish you had never been born.
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [sees a giant ruby] Ooh-hoo, I always wanted one of those.
[runs forward and hugs it]
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Nice! More, MORE!
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [to himself] That stinkin' Aladdin! First chance I get, I'll slice him in half!
Thief: [to other thieves] That stinking Abis Mal! First chance we get, let's slice him in half!
Iago: [relaxing on a large cushion] Oh, yeah. Bein' one of the good guys has his advantages. Ahh, advisor to Aladdin, the new grand vizier. And when Aladdin becomes Sultan, that will make me the grand vizier! Only I'm not gonna blow it like that idiot Jafar!
[he eats a cluster of grapes, then tosses the stem away]
Iago: I'll never have to stand in his shadow again.
[the lights go out, a spotlight switches on over Iago and Jafar appears out of the darkness]
Iago: [startled] Awk!
[Jafar steps forwards]
Aladdin 'Al': Sultan, I have to tell you something about Iago.
[Iago tickles Rajah's nose, Rajah sneezes Iago out in front of Sultan]
Aladdin 'Al': [gulps nervously] He's - here.
[Aladdin, Abu, and Iago bump into Abis Mal & company]
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: You... look familiar.
Thieves: It's Aladdin.
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: What? It is? I-I knew that! Hurt him a lot! Hurt him, and his monkey, and his bird, too!
Iago: [smearing dirt all over himself] I'll just get Aladdin on my side with a little sympathy act. And I'll be back in the palace again quicker than you can say "Easy Street."
[Aladdin turns corner to find Iago panting for breath]
Iago: Aladdin... kid... finally... got free... of... Jafar.
Aladdin 'Al': Iago! What are you doing here?
Iago: Where are you? Getting dark. Hold me...
[Aladdin fiercely grabs at him]
Iago: Ah! Hey, I meant gentle-like!
Blue Genie: [running up to Jasmine with Abu to catch Sultan & Aladdin] Make room for the picnic boys!
Princess Jasmine: They already left, Genie.
Blue Genie: Without us?
Abu the Monkey: Without us?
Blue Genie: No problem, I'll catch up in a flash.
Princess Jasmine: Wait! Without me, too. Aladdin needs some time alone with father to patch things up.
Blue Genie: [to Abu] You know what this means, monkey boy? MORE FOOD FOR US!
Blue Genie: [about Jafar] Don't worry, Abu. He's a genie, and genies can't kill anyone.
[Jafar's hands turn into dragons and spray fire all over Genie and Abu]
Blue Genie: [wheezing] But you'd be surprised what you can live through.
Jafar: Iago... you betrayed me and allied yourself with my enemies! Then you turned on them as soon at it was in your best interests. That's what I love about you. You're so perfectly predictable. A villain through and through!
[Genie saves Aladdin from being beheaded]
Aladdin 'Al': Thanks for savin' me.
Blue Genie: Oh, come on, Al, you know I had to. Oh, that no-head look is just not you.
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: I got it! I could wish for the famed treasure chest of King Malakhan!
[Jafar makes the chest appear with Abis Mal in it, then makes it disappear]
Jafar: Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. I thought that was your wish. Are you quite all right?
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [agitated] No, I am not quite...
Jafar: Wonderful! Good to see all is well.
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Does this mean I don't get my third wish?
Blue Genie: [Thinking he destroyed Jafar] HAHAHAHA! Who's laughing now?
Jafar: Why, I believe it's me.
Abu the Monkey: Argh!
Jafar: [singing] Men cower at the power in my pinky / My thumb is number one on every list! But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible / put me to the test / I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest!
Narrator: [singing] Pack your shield, pack your sword, you won't ever get bored / though get beaten or gored you might / Come on down stop on by / hop a carpet and fly to another Arabian Night.
Jafar: [laughs sinisterly] Good help is so hard to find these days, isn't it, Aladdin?
[after Iago has knocked the lamp into the molten magma]
Jafar: My lamp! NOOOOOOOOOO!
Aladdin 'Al': I can't just stay in the Palace! There's too much to do, too much to see.
[after Princess Jasmine has said that she is also going to see the world]
Iago: [flying around] Crazy talk! Why do I keep getting hooked up with these *warped people*?
[the camera pans out from the Palace]
Iago: [sweetly] Shouldn't somebody ask what the *brave parrot* wants to do?
Blue Genie: Giddy-up, slowpoke, what's keepin' ya?
Aladdin 'Al': Nothing. Well, something, but - I'll tell you later.
Blue Genie: [talking about the hula-skirt girl] Oooo, she dances!
Princess Jasmine: [to Iago] How could you double-cross Aladdin after all he's done for you?
Abu the Monkey: [chatters angrily]
Iago: Hey! Do I insult *your* mother?
[Aladdin is accused for the murder of the Sultan]
Razoul the Chief Guard: And then you went over the waterfall, eh? Ha! How did you survive?
Aladdin 'Al': [hanging his head in shame] I - I don't know.
Razoul the Chief Guard: [crosses his arms in disbelief] How very convenient.
Aladdin 'Al': It's the truth! Why won't you believe me?
Princess Jasmine: [off-camera] Because we know you're lying.
Aladdin 'Al': What?
Princess Jasmine: I found *this* in your room!
[holds out the Sultan's tattered turban]
Princess Jasmine: My father's turban - slashed.
Aladdin 'Al': You can't think - !
Princess Jasmine: I thought you loved me, but now I see that all you wanted to do was rule Agrabah!
Aladdin 'Al': I never wanted - !
Princess Jasmine: He shall die at dawn - for the murder of my father!
[Jasmine runs off, stops at the door and then shuts it]
Aladdin 'Al': [protests] Jasmine, please!
[Razoul restrains him]
Razoul the Chief Guard: You're in my hands now, street *RAT*!
[Genie and the Carpet are playing pool]
Blue Genie: Your shot.
Blue Genie: Pool's a man's game; so being a rug, you'll be at a dis... ad... van...
[Carpet clears the table with break shot]
Blue Genie: Eh, pool's a dumb game anyway.
Jafar: [bellowing at first, then softening down] You will now release me!... so that I may have my revenge.
Iago: [pulling himself loose from the sand, then shaking himself off] Yeah, yeah, when I'm good and ready.
Jafar: Do as I say, you worthless pipsqueak!
Iago: You know somethin'? You're nothing without me.
Iago: Who comes up with all the good ideas? ME! Who does all the work? ME!
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [while Jafar slashes the Sultan's turban] Hey, that was a nice hat. I could've worn that hat.
Jafar: We need this for our plan.
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Couldn't we use another hat for the plan?
Jafar: Oh, no. The Sultan's turban and this dagger are exactly what we need to seal Aladdin's doom.
Blue Genie: [impersonating Jiminy Cricket from "Pinocchio"] Just let your conscience be your guide.
Iago: Conscience? Never had one! Never.
Jafar: [to Aladdin] You shall never have my lamp, and there is no one to save you this time!
Iago: [swooping down, shouting] Hey, Jafar! Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!
Blue Genie: [arriving from his trip around the world] He's big, he's blue! He's BACK!
Aladdin 'Al': [as he and Jasmine hug the Genie] Genie!
Princess Jasmine: You came back!
Blue Genie: [turning red, yelling and wincing] Ooh! Ah! Oh, watch the sunburrrrrrrn!
[stops wincing, then turns blue again]
Blue Genie: Aha! Kidding. Did ya miss me? Be honest.
[handing his luggage to Abu]
Blue Genie: Take care of these, my great mammal.
[Abu takes the luggage but falls down from Aladdin's shoulder]
Jafar: [after he demands Abis Mal to take him and the lamp to Agrabah, which makes Abis Mal speak nervous gibberish] I suppose I am a bit too much for his limited mind.
Jafar: [he and Abis Mal appear at the sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer] Poor, sweet baby. Aren't we enjoying our wish?
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [muffled, as an octupus wraps one of its tentacles around Abis Mal] Noooo...
Jafar: Perhaps you wish me to return you to the desert?
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [screeching] Yeeeees!...
Jafar: Then well...
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [opening a treasure chest] Is this a haul or what, my surly band of desert skunks?
Thief: Grrr, how is it that *you* get the jeweled flower, Abis Mal?
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Why, this is my *bonus* for being your beloved leader!
[as he points to his flower, then two sacks of jewels]
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: And this, and that, and that are my beloved leader bonus.
Thief: And what is *our* reward?
[the other thieves grumble in question]
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [tossing a bag of coins to them] Here you go. Good work, boys. Very successful raid.
Blue Genie: [chanting] Without you, the Amazon is just a trickle. Without you, the Sahara's not so hot.
Aladdin 'Al': So Genie, how does it feel to be free?
Blue Genie: Seriously... I LOVE IT!
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Who are you?
Aladdin 'Al': My friends call me Al, but *you* can call me Aladdin.
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Gah... hurt him!
Jafar: [to Abis Mal] Let's not be too hasty, my simple-minded friend. It's not enough that we simply destroy Aladdin. After all, there are things *so* much worse than death!
Aladdin 'Al': Give it up Jafar!
Aladdin 'Al': We're obviously too much for you to handle!
Jafar: You're a fool to challenge me!
Jafar: I am all powerful!
Aladdin 'Al': Some all powerful.
Aladdin 'Al': You can't even get rid of a lowly street rat!
Jafar: A problem I need to rectify right now!
Princess Jasmine: Aladdin!