Santa: 'Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems in a place perhaps you've seen in your dreams. For the story you're about to be told began with the holiday worlds of auld. Now you've probably wondered where holidays come from. If you haven't I'd say it's time you begun.
Jack Skellington: [singing] There's children throwing snowballs / instead of throwing heads / they're busy building toys / and absolutely no one's dead!
Police officer: Attacked by Christmas toys? That's strange, that's the second toy complaint we've had.
Mayor: Jack, please, I'm only an elected official here, I can't make decisions by myself!
Oogie Boogie Man: I am the shadow on the moon at night / Filling your dreams to the brim with fright.
Dr. Finkelstein: Sally! You came back.
Sally: I had to.
Dr. Finkelstein: For this.
[holds Sally's detatched arm; she causes it to wave at herself]
Sally: [smiles] Yes.
Dr. Finkelstein: Shall we, then?
Oogie Boogie Man: Oh, the sound of rolling dice to me is music in the air, / 'cause I'm a gambling Boogie Man, although I don't play fair. / It's much more fun, I must confess, with lives on the line. / Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy, / now, that'll be just fine.
Jack Skellington: No, Zero. Down, boy... My, what a brilliant nose you have. The better to light my way! You're the head of the team, Zero!
Lock: I wanna do it.
Barrel: Let's draw straws!
Shock: Jack said we should work together.
Barrel: Three of a kind.
Lock: Birds of a feather.
Mayor: How horrible our Christmas will be!
Jack Skellington: *No.*
[the Mayor switches to his upset face]
Jack Skellington: How *jolly*!
Mayor: Oh. How *jolly* our Christmas will be.
Jack Skellington: And one more thing...
[stops Barrel from leaving]
Jack Skellington: leave that no-account Oogie-Boogie out of this!
Barrel: Whatever you say, Jack.
Shock: Of course, Jack.
Lock: Wouldn't dream of it, Jack.
[a view from behind reveals their fingers are crossed]
Jack Skellington: The job I have for you is top secret. It requires skill, craft, cunning, mis...
Shock: And we thought you didn't *like* us, Jack.
Santa: [from in the bag] Me on vacation? On Christmas Eve?
Barrel: Where are we taking him?
Lock: [removes his mask] to Oogie Boogie, of course. There's no where in the whole world more comfortable than *that*. And Jack *said* to make him comfortable, didn't he?
Santa: Haven't you heard of peace on earth, and goodwill towards men?
[laugh and head back to the tree house]
Jack Skellington: [singing] Just because I cannot see it, doesn't mean I can't believe it!
Santa: [singing] Release me now or you'll have to face the dire consequences. / The children are expecting me, so please come to your senses.
Oogie Boogie Man: [singing] You're jokin', you're jokin'! / I can't believe my ears! / Would someone shut this fella up? / I'm drownin' in my tears! / It's funny, I'm laughing! / You really are too much. / And now, with your permission, / I'm going to do my stuff.
[snake dangles from his mouth]
Santa: [fearfully] What are you going to do?
Oogie Boogie Man: I'm gonna do the best I can!
Mr. Hyde: [approaching with his foot stuck in a pumpkin] I tromped through the pumpkin patch.
[to the Easter Bunny]
Santa: Release me fast or you will have to answer for this heinous act.
Jack Skellington: [singing] And on a dark cold night, under full moonlight, he flies into the fog like a vulture in the sky!
[in a deeper tone]
Jack Skellington: And they call him, Sandy... Clawssss...!
[attempting to push Santa down the pipe]
Shock: I think he might be too big!
[she tries again, he groans]
Lock: No, he's not! If he can go down a chimney... he can fit...
[Santa slides down the pipe]
Dr. Finkelstein: That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off.
Sally: Three times!
Jack Skellington: Sally! I need your help most of all.
Sally: You certainly do, Jack. I've had the most horrible vision!
Jack Skellington: That's splendid!
Dr. Finkelstein: You've poisoned me for the last time, you wretched girl!
[to his new creation, as he inserts part of his own brain]
Dr. Finkelstein: What a joy to think of all *we'll* have in common. *We'll* have conversations *worth* having.
Jack Skellington: [singing] I'm a master of fright, / and a demon of light, / and I'll scare you right out of your pants. / To a guy in Kentucky / I'm Mister Unlucky / And I'm know thoughout England and France, / And since I am dead, / I can take off my head /
Jack Skellington: to recite Shakespearean quotations. / No animal or man /
[puts it back on]
Jack Skellington: Can SCREAM like I can / With the fury of my recitations.
Dr. Finkelstein: Mm, what's this?
Dr. Finkelstein: Wormswort! Mmm...
[prepares to take a bite but then sniffs suspiciously]
Dr. Finkelstein: ...And frog's breath?
Sally: [innocently] What's wrong? I thought you *liked* frog's breath.
Dr. Finkelstein: Nothing's more suspicious than frog's breath! Until *you* taste it, I won't swallow a spoonful!
Sally: I'm not hungry.
[shrugs and in doing so pretends to accidentally knock over the spoon he holds up]
Dr. Finkelstein: [as she shoves the spoon aside on the floor and, still bent over, removes a slotted spoon from her sock] You want me to starve! An old man like me who hardly has strength as it is! Me! To whom you owe your very *life*!
Sally: Oh, don't be silly!
[Dips the sifting spoon in the soup and pretends to taste it]
Sally: Mmmm! See? Scrumptious.
Jack Skellington: [singing] Of course, I've been too close to see! The answer's right in front of me!
Oogie Boogie Man: Are you a gambling man, Santa?
Sally: [singing] What will become of my dear friend? / Where will his actions lead us then? / Oh, how I'd like to join the crowd / In their enthusiastic cloud. / Try as I may, it doesn't last. / And will we ever / End up together? / No, I think not. / It's never to become, / For I am not the one.
Jack Skellington: We pick up an oversized sock, and hang it like this on the wall...
Mr. Hyde: Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot?
Smaller Mr. Hyde: Let me see, let me look.
Smallest Mr. Hyde: Is it rotted and covered with gook?
Mayor: [singing] What a splendid idea! This Christmas sounds fun. I fully endorse it -
[while shooing away a bat he switches his face to look unhappy]
Mayor: let's try it at once!
Oogie Boogie Man: J-J-J-Jack! But they said you were dead. You must be - double dead!
Mayor: The King of Halloween has been blown to smithereens! Skeleton Jack is now a pile of dust!
Sally: I had the most terrible vision.
Jack Skellington: That's splendid!
Sally: No - it was about your Christmas. There was smoke... and fire!
Jack Skellington: That's not *my* Christmas! *My* Christmas is filled with laughter, and joy... and this: my Sandy Claws outfit. I want you to make it.
Sally: Jack, please listen to me. It's going to be a disaster!
Jack Skellington: How could it be? Just follow the pattern!
[holds up design of outfit]
Jack Skellington: This part's red, the trim is white...
Sally: It's a mistake, Jack!
Jack Skellington: Now don't be modest. Who else is clever enough to make my Sandy Claws outfit?
Jack Skellington: [singing] What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere! What's this? There's white things in the air! What's this? I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming; wake up, Jack, this isn't fair! What's this?
Jack Skellington: [singing] You know, I think this Christmas thing is not as tricky as it seems! But why should they have all the fun? It should belong to anyone! Not anyone, in fact, but me! Why, I could make a Christmas tree! And there's not a reason I can find, I couldn't have a Christmastime! I bet I could improve it, too! And that's exactly what I'll do!
Shock: [singing] I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb.
Barrel: *I'm* not the dumb one.
Lock: You're no fun!
Shock: Shut up!
Lock: Make me!
Jack Skellington: Forgive me, Mr. Claus. I'm afraid I've made a terrible mess of your holiday.
Santa: Bumpy *sleigh*-ride... Jack. Next time you get the urge to take over someone else's holiday, I'd listen to *her*.
[points to Sally]
Santa: She's the only one who makes any sense around this insane asylum!
[walks away, muttering]
Santa: Skeletons, boogie men...
Jack Skellington: I hope there's still time.
Santa: To fix Christmas? Of course there is! I'm Santa Claus!
[flies out chimney]
Santa: Bumpy sleigh ride, Jack!
Jack Skellington: [singing with false pomp] And I, *Jack*, the *Pumpkin King*, grow tired of the same old thing.
Jack Skellington: Merry Christmas! And what is your name?
Kid: uh... uh...
Jack Skellington: That's all right. I have a present for you anyway. There ya go, sonny! Ho ho ho! HEEHEEHEE!
[slips out the chimney]
Mother: And what did Santa bring you, Honey?
[kid shows parents his present - a shrunken head; parents scream]
Jack Skellington: Eureka! This year, Christmas will be - OURS!
Police officer: Attention. Attention, citizens. Terrible news. Although the imposter has been shot down, there's still no sign of Santa Claus. It looks like Christmas will have to be cancelled this year. I repeat: The imposter has been shot down, but there is still no sign of the real Santa Claus...
Lock: [singing] I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door, and then, knock three times, and when he answers, Sandy Claws will be no more!
Shock: [singing] You're so stupid! Think now! If we blow him up to smithereens, we may lose some pieces!
Jack Skellington: [unwrapping Oogie Boogie] How dare you treat my friend so shamefully!
Jack Skellington: [spoiler]
Jack Skellington: My dearest friend, if you don't mind... I'd like to join you by your side. Where we can gaze into the stars...
[looking at a present Jack brought]
Clown: It's a bat!
Man Under the Stairs: [singing] Will it bend?
Clown: [singing] It's a rat!
Man Under the Stairs: [singing] Will it break?
Undersea Gal: [singing] Perhaps it's the head that I've found in the lake.
Lock: [of Jack] There he is!
Shock: Just like we said!
Mayor: [throws Jack a ladder] Grab ahold, my boy!
Harlequin Demon: [singing] Won't they be impressed, I am a ge-ni-us! See how I transform this old rat inTO a most deLIGHTful hat!
Sax Player: Nice work, Bone Daddy!
Clown: [singing] I am the Clown with the tear-away face!
[Pulls face off]
Clown: [Demonic voice] Here in a *flash* and gone without a trace!
[vanishes in a puff of smoke]
Igor: Maaasterrr... The plaaaannnsss!
Dr. Finkelstein: Excellent, Igor.
[Throws him a doggy treat]
Clown: [of Jack's disappearance] This has never happened before!
Big Witch, W.W.D.: It's suspicious.
Small Witch: It's peculiar.
Vampire: It's scary!
Oogie Boogie Man: Ashes to askes and dust to dust! Ohh... I'm feeling weak - with hunger! One more roll o the dice oughta do it!
[places the dice in the skull shaker but recieves a pair of ones]
Oogie Boogie Man: WHAT? SNAKE-EYES!
[strikes the table hard enough to verturn them and get a larger number]
Mayor: [cheerfully] How horrible our Christmas will be!
Jack Skellington: *No.*
[the Mayor switches to his unhappy face]
Jack Skellington: How *jolly*.
Mayor: Oh. How *jolly* our Christmas will be.
[gets pelted by bones and a ball, growls over his desk to see who did it - then recoils in fear]
Mayor: What are YOU doing here?
Lock: Jack sent for us.
Barrel: By name.
Lock: [removes his mask] Lock!
Shock: [removes her mask] Shock!
[licks his lollipop]
Mayor: Jack, Jack... it's - Boogie's boys!
Jack Skellington: [kneeling] Ahh... Halloween's finest *trick*-ortreaters... The job I have for you is top-secret. It requires craft! Cunning. mis...
Shock: [innocently] And we thought you didn't *like* us, Jack!
[the three laugh]
Jack Skellington: Absolutely no one is to know about it, *not a soul*! Now...
[begins to whisper, the Mayor attempts to listen through his megaphone then reaches inside to stop something blocking it - and is bitten by a spider before flinging it out]
Jack Skellington: [Jack stands and the three prepare to leave, but he grabs Barrel's jacket] And one more thing - leave that no-account Oogie-Boogie OUT OF THIS!
Barrel: Whatever you say... Jack.
Shock: Of course, Jack.
Lock: Wouldn't dream of it, Jack!
[they hide their crossed fingers and run off, laughing]
Sally: [examining Jack in his newly-finished Santa suit] You don't look like yourself, Jack. Not at all.
Jack Skellington: Isn't that wonderful? It couldn't be more wonderful!
Sally: [holds up the clipboard sketch of him] But you're the Pumpkin King!
Jack Skellington: Not anymore!
[breks it over his knee]
Jack Skellington: I feel SO much better now!
Sally: [pulling a loose thread from his cuff] Jack, I know you think something's missing, but -
[accidentally catches his finger]
Jack Skellington: [lightly] Ow.
Jack Skellington: You're right. Something *is* missing. But what? I've got the beard... the coat... the boots... the belt...
Jack Skellington: This time we really did.
Lock: He sure is big, Jack!
Barrel: And heavy!
Santa: [bursting out the bag] Let me out!
[the Halloween citizens gasp in awe]
Jack Skellington: Sandy Claws - in person. What a pleasure to meet you.
[prepares to shake but then looks down when their HANDS touch]
Jack Skellington: Wh - ! Why, you have *hands*! You don't have claws at all!
Jack Skellington: [dazed] Where am I?
Jack Skellington: Consider this a vacation, Santy. A reward. It's your turn to take it easy.
Santa: B-But there must be some mistake!
Jack Skellington: See that he's comfortable... Just a second, fellas! Of *course*! *That's* what I'm missing!
[takes Santa's hat]
Jack Skellington: Thanks.
Santa: Hang on - you just can't -
[has the bag thrown over him again]
Santa: Hold on! Where are we going now?
[the henchmen leave with him]
Jack Skellington: Ho, ho, *ho*! No...
Jack Skellington: Ho, ho, ho. Ho...
Sally: This is worse than I thought. Much worse. I know!
[leaves to get fog juice]
Jack Skellington: Mmmmm... an interesting reaction! But what does it mean?
Oogie Boogie Man: [after having his sack body ripped open] Now look what you've done! My bugs! My bugs! My bugs!
Jack Skellington: [upon discovering Christmas Town] Christmas Town? Hmmmm...
Jack Skellington: Perfect! Open it up. Quickly!
[opens it up to reveal the Easter bunny]
Jack Skellington: That's not Sandy Claws!
Shock: It isn't?
Barrel: Who is it?
Behemoth: [the Easter bunny hops up a set of steps and up to the Behemouth, sniffing him - he points at it] BUNNY!
[it leaps back into the covered tub, terrified]
Jack Skellington: Not Sandy Claws... Take him back!
Lock: We followed your instructions...
Barrel: We went through the door...
Jack Skellington: Which door? There's more than one! Sandy Claws is behind the door shaped like *this*.
[shows Christmas cookie in shape of tree]
Shock: I *told* you!
Jack Skellington: [Lock and Shock fight, Jack buries his face in his hand and after a moment stretches out his jaw and screams] AURR!
[they stop fighting and gasp with Barrel]
Jack Skellington: [to the Easter bunny] I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, sir.
[to the henchmen]
Jack Skellington: Take *him* home first. And apologize again. Be careful with Sandy Claws when you fetch him. Treat him nicely.
Barrel: Got it.
Lock: We'll get it right...
Mayor: Terrible news, folks! The worst tragedy of our time! Jack has been blown to smithereens!
Vampire: [about Jack, who is missing] I peeked behind the Cyclops' eye - I did! - But he wasn't there.
Oogie Boogie Man: Well well well. What have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Ooo I'm really scared! So you're the one everybody's talking about?
Oogie Boogie Man: [singing] You're joking, you're joking/I can't believe my eyes/You're joking me, you've gotta be/ This can't be the right guy! He's ancient, he's ugly/ I don't know which is worse! I might just spit a seam now if I don't die laughing first!
Sally: [sings] I sense there's something in the wind / That feels like tragedy's at hand. / And though I'd like to stand by him, / Can't shake this feeling that we have. / The worst is just around the bend. / And does he notice / My feelings for him? / And will he see / How much he means to me? / I think it's not to be.
Jack Skellington: [sung] Well, what the heck, I really did my best/And by God I really tasted something swell, that's right/And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky/And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did/And for the first time since I don't remember when/I felt like my old bony self again/And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King...
Jack Skellington: [spoken] That's right. I AM THE PUMPKIN KING!
Jack Skellington: [sung] And I just can't wait until next Halloween/'Cause I've got some new ideas that will really make them scream/And by God, I'm really gonna give it all my might!/
Jack Skellington: Uh-oh, I hope there's still time to set things right. Sandy Claws...