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Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) Poster

Quotes

Hotel night clerk: You are with police?

Larry Lipton: Yes, I'm a detective. They lowered the height requirement.

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Arthur Bannister: [on the movie screen, "The Lady from Shanghai" is playing] I'm aiming at you, lover.

Mrs. Dalton: I'm aiming at you, lover.

Arthur Bannister: Of course, killing you is killing myself.

Mrs. Dalton: Of course, killing you is killing myself.

Arthur Bannister: But you know, I'm pretty tired of both of us.

Mrs. Dalton: But you know, I'm pretty tired of both of us.

[On the screen, Arthur and Elsa shoot at each other, breaking mirrors; in the theatre, Mrs. Dalton and Mr. House shoot at each other, breaking mirrors and finally killing Mr. House]

Larry Lipton: I'll never say that life doesn't imitate art again.

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Larry Lipton: I can't listen to that much Wagner, ya know? I start to get the urge to conquer Poland.

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Larry Lipton: My life is passing before my eyes. The worst part about it is that I'm driving a used car.

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Carol Lipton: Larry, I think she's dead!

Larry Lipton: Try giving her the present.

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Larry Lipton: Here, taste my tuna casserole and tell if I put in too much hot fudge.

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Larry Lipton: I like a hotel with lots of blue powder sprinkled along the base boards.

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Larry Lipton: I think it's a reasonable assumption that if you're dead you don't suddenly turn up in the New York City Transit System.

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Larry Lipton: I was in a deep sleep - I was dreaming of roundcar girls.

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Larry Lipton: I'd fix Ted up with Helen Dubin, but they'd probably get into an argument over penis envy; the poor guy suffers from it so.

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Larry Lipton: Claustrophobia and a dead body - this is a neurotic's jackpot!

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Larry Lipton: New York is the city that never sleeps! That's why we don't live in Duluth. That, plus I don't even know where Duluth is. Lucky me.

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Larry Lipton: Yes, of course you woke us - not everyone is up at 1 AM watching the porn channel.

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Larry Lipton: Ted has a mind like a steel sieve.

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Larry Lipton: Ted sees himself as Rick in Casablanca; I see him more as Peter Lorre.

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Larry Lipton: This guy gets his jollies from licking the back of postage stamps.

Ted: I can see that, depending on who's on the stamp.

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Larry Lipton: You're suggesting we try to provoke him into murdering us?

Marcia Fox: You have a problem with that?

Larry Lipton: Well, either that, or I suddenly developed Parkinson's.

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Larry Lipton: My favorite thing in life is, you know, to look at cancelled postage.

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[Hands Hotel Day Clerk a one-dollar tip]

Larry Lipton: What are you making a face for? He's the father of our country.

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Lillian House: Exercising changed my life.

Larry Lipton: I prefer to atrophy.

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Paul House: Well, what do you buy a woman who has everything?

Lillian House: We already own twin cemetery plots.

Larry Lipton: I always think a Bentley is in good taste. Or, you could go the route I did and buy her a set of handkerchiefs.

Carol Lipton: Well, they were very nice though, and they had my initials.

Larry Lipton: Yeah, and I didn't even know her size.

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Carol Lipton: Well, listen, I think maybe I will go back to seeing my shrink, I think, I think I...

Larry Lipton: You don't have to see your shrink, there's nothing wrong with you that can't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet.

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Larry Lipton: I forbid. I forbid you to go. I'm forbidding!... Is that what you do when I'm forbidding?

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[last lines]

Carol Lipton: You were jealous of Ted.

Larry Lipton: Ted, you've gotta be kidding, take away his elevator shoes and his fake suntan and his capped teeth and what do you have?

Carol Lipton: You!

Larry Lipton: Right, I like that!

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Carol Lipton: I don't understand why you're not more fascinated with this! I mean, we could be living next door to a murderer, Larry.

Larry Lipton: New York is a melting pot! I'm used to it!

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Larry Lipton: Meanwhile, I can't get that Flying Dutchman theme out of my head. Remind me tomorrow to buy up all the Wagner records in town and rent a chainsaw.

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Carol Lipton: Helen Dubin's wrong for Ted. She's too mousey.

Larry Lipton: Well, he's a little mousey. They could have their little rodent time together, they could eat cheese together...

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Larry Lipton: [to Carol] Save a little craziness for menopause!

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Larry Lipton: Don't do this! We should be asleep now in one of our many cuddling positions!

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Larry Lipton: I'm a world renowned claustrophobic.

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Marilyn: I'd like to French pastry myself to death, right now.

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Carol Lipton: Did you see this? This man in Missouri killed twelve victims, dismemebered them, and ate them.

Larry Lipton: Really? Well, it's an alternative lifestyle.

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Ted: I want to celebrate. You want to go see what Larry and Carol are doing?

Marcia Fox: I think they want to be alone.

Ted: Oh, right. Well, uh, what about you? Do you have plans?

Marcia Fox: You're taking me to dinner, right?

Ted: Right, absolutely! Only we can't sleep together, not tonight.

Marcia Fox: Why not?

Ted: Well, because I already slept with Helen Moss once today, and I'm not young and active like I used to be.

Marcia Fox: You'll do anything to catch a murderer, won't you?

Ted: Mmm-hmm.

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Larry Lipton: C'mon, more, more! Adrenalin is leaking out of my ears!

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Carol Lipton: Look at you, you're all white.

Larry Lipton: All the blood rushed to my brother!

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[first lines]

Larry Lipton: C'mon, you promised to sit through the hockey game without being bored,

Carol Lipton: [overlapping] I know, honey, I promised.

Larry Lipton: and I'll sit through the Wagner opera with you next week.

Carol Lipton: I know.

Larry Lipton: I already bought the earplugs.

Carol Lipton: Yeah, well, with your eyesight I'm surprised you can see the puck. Wow, yay, come on.

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Carol Lipton: Larry, I think it's time we reevaluated our lives.

Larry Lipton: I've reevaluated our lives; I got a 10, you got a 6.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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