Lifeline to Victory (1993 TV Movie)
Petty Officer Lang (Coxswain): Morrison, GET OVER HERE!
Morrison: WHat seems to be the trouble, Cox'n?
Petty Officer Lang (Coxswain): You, you thick BASTARD! What are you, a German spy?
Morrison: No, Cox'n.
Petty Officer Lang (Coxswain): Then why are you throwing the gash overboard in broad, bloody daylight? Leaving a trail for the U-Boats to follow.
Morrison: [shocked] Lord, Jesus! I didn't know.
Petty Officer Lang (Coxswain): That is *NO EXCUSE*! One more cock-up like this and we'll ALL be breathing seawater. Now YOU get below decks!
Morrison: Aye, aye, Cox'n.
[Mac has been winning steadily at craps]
Mac McNaughton: Shoot the fins, Canelli. They're singing my song tonight.
Canelli: Every bloody night.
Paul Devereaux: Why would someone like you join the Navy?
Mac McNaughton: Oh, the uniform, sir. The babes *love it*.
Paul Devereaux: Is that all?
Mac McNaughton: [with extreme sarcasm] Oh, and of course to safeguard the convoys carrying vital supplies to Britain's island stronghold, sir.
Paul Devereaux: Believe it or not, MacNaughton, that's why most of us *are* here.
[Mac has been caught gambling and has been forced to hand over his crooked dice]
Paul Devereaux: [rolls the rigged dice] Seven... a winner. And again. Shoot the fins boys, they're singing my song tonight.
Paul Devereaux: And again. Now we back off, and use the straight pair. Don't we?
Mac McNaughton: [Contrite] Yes, sir.
Paul Devereaux: [rolls the regular dice] Ahhh, crap three. A loser.
Chief Engineer: [the engine has seized due to lack of oil] I told you this would happen DAYS AGO, and you wouldn't listen!
Paul Devereaux: The engine is YOURS! You're supposed to keep it running no matter what! Now you get us *flashed up and moving* before a U-Boat *punches our ticket*!
[Chief Engineer leaves]
Paul Devereaux: [to Pooley, in the sonar room] Anything, Mr. Pooley?
Sub Lt. Pooley: No sir. For us to hear any subs, we need absolute silence. Some son-of-a-bitch was yelling his lungs out up there a second ago!
[Devereaux winces, knowing it was him]
[HMCC Fireweed is being given a wooden "deck gun"]
Morrison: Cox'n, it's wood.
Petty Officer Lang (Coxswain): Solid Canadian pine.
Morrison: How are we supposed to fight the Germans with that?
Mac McNaughton: Yeah, what are we supposed to do? Beat them over the head with it?
Petty Officer Lang (Coxswain): [to MacNaughton] NO! We're *supposed* to use our depth charges. But if that doesn't work, THEN, we *beat them over the head with it*!
Petty Officer Lang (Coxswain): [to all the sailors] Now *MOVE!*
[Oldbest has accused Fireweed of stealing his figurehead]
Paul Devereaux: You know something, I wish I *did* have your damn figurehead. We need to repair our leaking oil pans and my engineering teams could *use* the sawdust!
Paul Devereaux: DEVEREAUX, SIR! My name is DEVEREAUX! That's *French Canadian*, which I assume should be a *DOUBLE pain in the ass* for you, sir!
Oldbest: STAND STILL! And LISTEN! I dislike and distrust Reservist amateurs, Colonial or *otherwise*. Especially jumped-up Merchant Marine types who think just because they've mucked about on a tramp steamer that it qualifies them for the bridge of a fighting ship! In my day, we had to *prove ourselves* capable of command!
[HMCC Fireweed's re-fit has been approved]
Oldbest: [seeing Deveraux's surprised expression] I wanted to sound you out first. See if you'd make the intelligent choice.
Oldbest: [in perfect, refined French] Therefore, good luck with Fireweed, Mister Devereaux.
Oldbest: [dryly] Oh, and I do hate to see good money wasted. So try not to sink her.