5 out of 5 people found the following comment useful :- Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digga, 8 April 2006
Author:
J. D.
Here's an issue for the McLaughlin Group to chew on: Is a Sidaris movie
still a Sidaris movie even if there's only one ex-Playmate in the cast?
Apparently so. Enemy Gold is the most watchable movie to carry the
Sidaris name since Savage Beach. (Granted, that's not exactly soaring
praise.)
This time, Drew Sidaris takes over the director's seat from dad Andy,
and not a minute too soon. Gone are the cheesy Hawaiian settings, the
interchangeable espionage plots and the bored, mostly clothed '80s
Playmates. You wouldn't imagine stories based on those simple concepts
could grow old that quickly, but they did mostly because Andy never
seemed to explore all the Cinemaxian possibilities presented by having
four or five ex-Playmates hanging around the set.
So Drew shifts the action to Dallas and for the lead federal agent he
casts Suzi Simpson, a top-heavy blond centerfold willing to disrobe and
shower on screen if it served the plot, and even more so if it didn't.
Anyway, Suzi and her two male partners have been suspended because of a
drug bust gone wrong (or something), so they decide to go camping (eh?)
and hunt for buried Confederate gold. Yeah, I don't get it either.
Back in Washington, another silicone-endowed blonde lounges around in
skimpy nothings (and usually less) while barking out orders to our
agents down in Dallas. And lurking around villainously are a rather
nonthreatening drug lord and henchman Julie Strain, who's more of a
risk due to her line readings than from any physical violence she might
cause.
Drew's trademarks: Sweaty sex scenes, goofy ATV chases through the
woods and gunbattles almost totally without suspense. Really, people
just shoot blankly at one another, without making any attempt to aim or
shield themselves from oncoming fire. Didn't anyone ever watch The Wild
Bunch? Or at least learn how to hold a weapon properly?
The movie almost earns a pass. You've got Suzi Simpson, for one thing
(or two of them, actually). And Andy didn't direct. Drew almost directs
with something that might be mistaken for enthusiasm if you squint real
hard and cock your head to the side at a weird enough angle.
Jewel Panther vs Becky Midnite (#9), 28 May 2008
Author:
sheenafilm from Hamburg, Germany
This is the 9th out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in
chronological order. For the first time, he only produced the movie,
but left the director's job to his son Drew, who had regularly been
director's assistant before. Renting a video cassette of Enemy Gold"
was my start into the world of bullets, bombs and babes" many years
ago and it still is a pleasure to revisit!
The story is simple: Three agents discover a bunch of drug smugglers,
kill a few and put the rest in jail. The big boss is not amused and
sends a killer to eliminate the agents. The interesting twist is that
the agents are treasure hunting on their day off": they find a map
that leads to lost gold from the civil war. The historical flashbacks
make the movie a bit more interesting, because the rest is quite
predictable. Fortunately, we have familiar faces with Mark Barriere and
Bruce Penhall who play the good guys, plus Julie Strain as Jewel
Panther (sic!), the killer. Debutante Suzi Simpson plays an agent by
the equally unlikely name of Becky Midnite, and Suzi follows the
footsteps of Dona Speir quite well for a first try. Remember, Dona
appeared in no less than 7 of Sidaris' movies before and seemed
impossible to replace! Alan Abelew deserves mentioning; he plays
Dickson, a man you love to hate. If you ever worked for a boss like
that, you know what I mean. Enemy Gold" has a simple instrumental rock
guitar soundtrack, a bit different from the style of most predecessors.
Don't miss the documentary Let's make a Sidaris movie" (bonus on the
American DVD), because it explains how the members of the whole family
worked together to make a movie - not an ordinary film team.
1 out of 2 people found the following comment useful :- Enjoyable, if uneven, 16 December 2006
Author:
gridoon
"Enemy Gold" marks a turning point in Andy Sidaris' filmography: his
son Christian is sitting in the director's chair, and Dona Speir,
Roberta Vasquez and Cynthia Brimhall are gone. The female lead this
time is Suzi Simpson, and she is quite a find (I wonder why Sidaris
didn't use her again): she has a great body (no matter what angle you
look at it from), combined with a sweet, innocent face and a cute
smile; she is appealing in the same way that Hope Marie Carlton was,
plus she fights a bit more than other Sidaris heroines. Tai Collins, as
a higher-in-command agent, is another total knockout, and Julie Strain,
as an assassin-for-hire, is like a mythological Amazon come to life.
Looking at this woman is much better than listening to her - her
delivery turns her character into camp. The pacing of the movie lags in
the second half, and when it's all over you have the feeling (as with
other Sidaris movies) that it could have been much better. But what is
there on the screen is still enjoyable - some of the lines are funny
and all of the women are sexy. (**1/2)
You know, it takes a big man to do a good job at a hard task. But it takes
an even bigger man to admit he what he cannot do, and then strive to do
what
he does best. That is Andy Sidaris in a nutshell. True, while he'll never
be the next Steven Speilberg, he is truly a master at the task which is
presented to him: B-movies. I have only seen three of his films and can
tell this already. Enemy Gold is one of them. This film is a slap in the
face to those who say that the exploitation of Sex, violence, and
rock-&-roll are wrong, and then rubs the slap down with a little ice. What
I'm trying to say is, that this movie, while not entirely wholesome, is
still a good movie, no matter how you slice it. The enormous juggs are
just
a way of keeping peoples attention.
1 out of 4 people found the following comment useful :- Beyond Bad, 25 February 2006
Author:
Piotr Sienkiewicz from New Jersey
This movie is in a league of its own. Caught this on Beer Goggle Vision
on Spike TV at 2am, and it reaches the final frontier of B rated (C
rated) movies.
The conversion between the producers of the movie must have went
something like this.
Exec 1: "Hey, so we got these two playboy chicks, maybe we should make
a movie with them"
Exec 2: "Ok, but we will need a plausible story line that will work
with their gigantic breasts, and lack of acting ability"
Exec 1: "True, I've got just the thing. Let's stick in Bruce Penhall
and Mark Berrier into the movie. Next to them Suzi Simpson will look
like Elizabeth Taylor."
Exec 2: "Fantastic, but whats the plot"
Exec 1: "Lets go with the usual. Special agents fighting a drug lord.
They find some diary, and look for gold"
Exec 2: "Brilliant!"
Exec 1: "We can call it Enemy Gold"
Exec 2: "I like it! Also, we can get the one of the A Team directors to
helm the film"
Exec 1: "Okay, lets start shooting tomorrow. I want this in theatres
next month"
So yeh, that sums it up. If you need a good laugh, grab some smokes,
some beer and some friends and you got the night made.
5 out of 13 people found the following comment useful :- The worst film ever made?, 3 January 2001
Author:
jeffsepu68 from So Cal
Its gotta rank right up there. BAAAAD baad movie, and I mean even for the
late night spanking genre it did by the numbers. Even the porn scenes
ached,
and with Suzy Simpson and Tai Collins, Playboy's finest back in the day,
they coulda done SOOOOO much more. If only the rest of it was merely BORING
and not NAUSEATINGLY IDIOTIC...
Own the rights?
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5 out of 5 people found the following comment useful :-

Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digga, 8 April 2006
Author: J. D.
Here's an issue for the McLaughlin Group to chew on: Is a Sidaris movie still a Sidaris movie even if there's only one ex-Playmate in the cast?
Apparently so. Enemy Gold is the most watchable movie to carry the Sidaris name since Savage Beach. (Granted, that's not exactly soaring praise.)
This time, Drew Sidaris takes over the director's seat from dad Andy, and not a minute too soon. Gone are the cheesy Hawaiian settings, the interchangeable espionage plots and the bored, mostly clothed '80s Playmates. You wouldn't imagine stories based on those simple concepts could grow old that quickly, but they did mostly because Andy never seemed to explore all the Cinemaxian possibilities presented by having four or five ex-Playmates hanging around the set.
So Drew shifts the action to Dallas and for the lead federal agent he casts Suzi Simpson, a top-heavy blond centerfold willing to disrobe and shower on screen if it served the plot, and even more so if it didn't.
Anyway, Suzi and her two male partners have been suspended because of a drug bust gone wrong (or something), so they decide to go camping (eh?) and hunt for buried Confederate gold. Yeah, I don't get it either.
Back in Washington, another silicone-endowed blonde lounges around in skimpy nothings (and usually less) while barking out orders to our agents down in Dallas. And lurking around villainously are a rather nonthreatening drug lord and henchman Julie Strain, who's more of a risk due to her line readings than from any physical violence she might cause.
Drew's trademarks: Sweaty sex scenes, goofy ATV chases through the woods and gunbattles almost totally without suspense. Really, people just shoot blankly at one another, without making any attempt to aim or shield themselves from oncoming fire. Didn't anyone ever watch The Wild Bunch? Or at least learn how to hold a weapon properly?
The movie almost earns a pass. You've got Suzi Simpson, for one thing (or two of them, actually). And Andy didn't direct. Drew almost directs with something that might be mistaken for enthusiasm if you squint real hard and cock your head to the side at a weird enough angle.
Jewel Panther vs Becky Midnite (#9), 28 May 2008

Author: sheenafilm from Hamburg, Germany
This is the 9th out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in chronological order. For the first time, he only produced the movie, but left the director's job to his son Drew, who had regularly been director's assistant before. Renting a video cassette of Enemy Gold" was my start into the world of bullets, bombs and babes" many years ago and it still is a pleasure to revisit!
The story is simple: Three agents discover a bunch of drug smugglers, kill a few and put the rest in jail. The big boss is not amused and sends a killer to eliminate the agents. The interesting twist is that the agents are treasure hunting on their day off": they find a map that leads to lost gold from the civil war. The historical flashbacks make the movie a bit more interesting, because the rest is quite predictable. Fortunately, we have familiar faces with Mark Barriere and Bruce Penhall who play the good guys, plus Julie Strain as Jewel Panther (sic!), the killer. Debutante Suzi Simpson plays an agent by the equally unlikely name of Becky Midnite, and Suzi follows the footsteps of Dona Speir quite well for a first try. Remember, Dona appeared in no less than 7 of Sidaris' movies before and seemed impossible to replace! Alan Abelew deserves mentioning; he plays Dickson, a man you love to hate. If you ever worked for a boss like that, you know what I mean. Enemy Gold" has a simple instrumental rock guitar soundtrack, a bit different from the style of most predecessors. Don't miss the documentary Let's make a Sidaris movie" (bonus on the American DVD), because it explains how the members of the whole family worked together to make a movie - not an ordinary film team.
1 out of 2 people found the following comment useful :-

Enjoyable, if uneven, 16 December 2006
Author: gridoon
"Enemy Gold" marks a turning point in Andy Sidaris' filmography: his son Christian is sitting in the director's chair, and Dona Speir, Roberta Vasquez and Cynthia Brimhall are gone. The female lead this time is Suzi Simpson, and she is quite a find (I wonder why Sidaris didn't use her again): she has a great body (no matter what angle you look at it from), combined with a sweet, innocent face and a cute smile; she is appealing in the same way that Hope Marie Carlton was, plus she fights a bit more than other Sidaris heroines. Tai Collins, as a higher-in-command agent, is another total knockout, and Julie Strain, as an assassin-for-hire, is like a mythological Amazon come to life. Looking at this woman is much better than listening to her - her delivery turns her character into camp. The pacing of the movie lags in the second half, and when it's all over you have the feeling (as with other Sidaris movies) that it could have been much better. But what is there on the screen is still enjoyable - some of the lines are funny and all of the women are sexy. (**1/2)
2 out of 5 people found the following comment useful :-
God Bless America, 6 November 1999
Author: Charles (Chaz) Duncan (darthshun@aol.com) from Atlanta Georgia
You know, it takes a big man to do a good job at a hard task. But it takes an even bigger man to admit he what he cannot do, and then strive to do what he does best. That is Andy Sidaris in a nutshell. True, while he'll never be the next Steven Speilberg, he is truly a master at the task which is presented to him: B-movies. I have only seen three of his films and can tell this already. Enemy Gold is one of them. This film is a slap in the face to those who say that the exploitation of Sex, violence, and rock-&-roll are wrong, and then rubs the slap down with a little ice. What I'm trying to say is, that this movie, while not entirely wholesome, is still a good movie, no matter how you slice it. The enormous juggs are just a way of keeping peoples attention.
1 out of 4 people found the following comment useful :-

Beyond Bad, 25 February 2006
Author: Piotr Sienkiewicz from New Jersey
This movie is in a league of its own. Caught this on Beer Goggle Vision on Spike TV at 2am, and it reaches the final frontier of B rated (C rated) movies.
The conversion between the producers of the movie must have went something like this.
Exec 1: "Hey, so we got these two playboy chicks, maybe we should make a movie with them"
Exec 2: "Ok, but we will need a plausible story line that will work with their gigantic breasts, and lack of acting ability"
Exec 1: "True, I've got just the thing. Let's stick in Bruce Penhall and Mark Berrier into the movie. Next to them Suzi Simpson will look like Elizabeth Taylor."
Exec 2: "Fantastic, but whats the plot"
Exec 1: "Lets go with the usual. Special agents fighting a drug lord. They find some diary, and look for gold"
Exec 2: "Brilliant!"
Exec 1: "We can call it Enemy Gold"
Exec 2: "I like it! Also, we can get the one of the A Team directors to helm the film"
Exec 1: "Okay, lets start shooting tomorrow. I want this in theatres next month"
So yeh, that sums it up. If you need a good laugh, grab some smokes, some beer and some friends and you got the night made.
5 out of 13 people found the following comment useful :-

The worst film ever made?, 3 January 2001
Author: jeffsepu68 from So Cal
Its gotta rank right up there. BAAAAD baad movie, and I mean even for the late night spanking genre it did by the numbers. Even the porn scenes ached, and with Suzy Simpson and Tai Collins, Playboy's finest back in the day, they coulda done SOOOOO much more. If only the rest of it was merely BORING and not NAUSEATINGLY IDIOTIC...
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