Double Dragon (1994)
Guisman: You're weak like your father.
Billy Lee: You're ugly like your mother.
Guisman: Thousands of years ago in ancient China, an evil army of Shadow Warriors terrorized the great city of Changsa. To save his people, the good king sacrificed himself to create a mystical medallion. Realizing the ultimate powers of the medallion, the king split it in half. To one son, he gave the power over body; to the other, the power over the soul. This is the legend of the Double Dragon.
Billy Lee: Look who's talkin', UG Lee.
Jimmy Lee: Get it straight. YOU'RE "Ug" Lee. I'm "Home" Lee.
Billy Lee: Oh, okay...
Linda Lash, Shuko Henchwoman: [phoning] Shuko? Lash. We found it.
Guisman: I just want total domination of one major American City! Is that too much to ask for? Is it? Is it? Huh?
Jimmy Lee: [possessed by Koga Shuko] Do you know the story of Romulus and Remus - sons of Mars, God of war?
Billy Lee: [speaking to his half of the Dragon Medallion] If you're waiting for an emergency, this is it.
Jimmy Lee: The brothers were abandoned and raised by wolves. Together, they built the great city of Rome.
Billy Lee: [to Koga Shuko] Shadow Demon, you shall not pass.
Jimmy Lee: In a quarrel, Romulus killed Remus.
Billy Lee: My whole life just flashed before my eyes! Dude, I sleep a lot.
Jimmy Lee: Are you crazy? We almost wrecked our CAR!
Smartass Mohawk: [peering through an eyehole] I can see you!
Jimmy Lee: No, you can't!
[shoves broom handle through eyehole]
Guisman: Aw, shit!
[combines both pieces of the medallion]
Billy Lee: [reads Sign] "Caution: Watch Your Step." Watch your step?
[falling, screaming, landing, looking about them]
Jimmy Lee: [surrounded by angry martial arts children] Great! The Power Corps are midgets.
Marian Delario, Power Corps Chief: You need some help? Why didn't you guys use the stairs?
Billy Lee: [pointedly to Jimmy] "Please use other door."
Guisman: [to Billy and Jimmy as he's being taken away by the cops] You think I'M bad, wait'll you meet my lawyers!
Smartass Mohawk: [checking his computer for the identities of the people in the car ahead of them] Hey, we know these guys! It's the Lee brothers, Ug and Home, ha-ha.
Bo Abobo #1: Who?
Billy Lee: [in the car ahead] Make a right on Wilshire.
Bo Abobo #1: Oh, I get it - UG-Lee, HOME-Lee. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
Billy Lee: [facing danger together] So what's the plan?
Jimmy Lee: I'm still workin' out the small details.
Guisman: Your incompetence sticks needles into the flesh of my honor.
Bo Abobo #1: This thing'll kill me.
Guisman: Perhaps. But I consider you like a son, Abobo. And like a son, I can always have another.
Maniac Leader: Well, who is this hungus bogosity who says he's gonna unite the gangs?
Long-Haired Gang Member: Nobody knows who he is. He's totally hollow, but he's spreading the goods around, and if we don't jack in, we'll all be vapor!
Maniac Leader: What is he, nuts? Maniacs don't take orders from anybody! Do we mind-share?
Jimmy Lee: Yuck!
Billy Lee: Yuck!
Jimmy Lee: This water's gross.
Billy Lee: It should have a seat and a lid over it.