Dazed and Confused (1993)
Wooderson: That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
Wooderson: Say, man, you got a joint?
Mitch: No, not on me, man.
Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you diid.
Wooderson: Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.
Ms. Ginny Stroud: Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.
Pink: All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life - remind me to kill myself.
Dawson: Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
Slater: Imagine how many people out there are fuckin' right now man, just goin' at it.
Freshman Girl: Will you marry me?
Dawson: I don't know. What's in it for me?
Freshman Girl: Anything you want?
Freshman Girl: Anything.
Dawson: [opening his mouth wide] Go like this. Do you spit or swallow?
Freshman Girl: Whatever you like.
Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.
Slater: Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.
Darla: What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch.
Dawson: You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like ?cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.
Clint: I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer.
[glances over his shoulder]
Clint: Looks like we're almost outta beer.
Mike: Don't air raid for that bitch, I hate that shit. It's like that Clint fucker in front of all his friends. Huh? Huh mother fucker.
Tony: Okay Mike.
Mike: Dominant male monkey mother fucker.
Slater: George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man.
Slater: Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too.
Pink: I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.
Cynthia: I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else.
Cynthia: I call it the "every other decade" theory. The 50's were boring. The 60's rocked. The 70's, my god, they obviously suck. So maybe the 80s will be like, radical. I figure we'll be in our 20's and hey, it can't get any worse.
Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.
O'Bannion: You are an embarrassment to the game of pool and should be glad I even let you play at my table.
O'Bannion: Hey Slater, you fuckin' hippie, give me drugs, man.
Slater: Go get some from your mother, man.
O'Bannion: We just bagged your mother.
Slater: Okay, fuck you dickhead.
Slater: I'm letting you have shotgun. But cuz it's cuz only 'cuz I'm goin' inside.
Jodi: Is that a beer in your hand?
Mitch: Why, yes it is.
Jodi: Have you had more than one of those?
Mitch: Few. No one's counting.
Jodi: When were you supposed to be home?
Mitch: Few hours ago I think.
Jodi: Thats bullshit. That's major bullshit. You know I was barely let out at your age?
Jodi: Aww. Well don't think she won't be waiting up for you. And she is tough. I've been through it.
Mitch: Just don't ask her to take it easy on me.
Dawson: Not bad for a little freshman but you gotta watch out for older girls
Melvin Spivey: Hey. Come here. We just wanna know something. You gonna be fucking that tonight, or are you gonna be a little wimp?
Mitch: [laughs] How do you know I haven't already
Melvin Spivey: [clearly pleased, laughs] Go along man, I think its past your bedtime!
Slater: This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?
Slater: You're dead, man, you're so dead. Look at the blood stains right there.
Wooderson: Yeah, well, listen. You ought to ditch the two geeks you're in the car with now and get in with us. But that's all right, we'll worry about that later. I will see you there. All right?
Jodi: Hey, I got a favour to ask you guys. You know my little brother?
Benny O'Donnell: Yeah, Mitch Kramer
Jodi: Ya, Mitch Kramer. Well, take it easy on him this summer will ya?
Pink: Don't worry sis, little brother's safe with us.
Jodi: Well just don't get him worse than the other guys. He's kinda little.
Benny O'Donnell: Ok. I promise.
[Jodi walks off]
Dawson: There was just a little bit of bullshit in all that right?
Benny O'Donnell: Major bullshit. He's a dead man.
Mrs. Kramer, Mitch's Mother: Have you been drinking?
[falls on bed and can't even take off both boots]
Mrs. Kramer, Mitch's Mother: Are you drunk?
Mitch: [clearly drunk] Psshh
Clint: What did you just say?
Clint: Just now, man. When you walked past, what'd you say?
Mike: About what?
Clint: You said, "Someone's tokin' some reefer."
Mike: No, I meant somewhere I smell some pot, you know? It was just an observation.
Clint: Oh, an observation, huh? Well who the hell are you, man? Isaac fucking Newton?
Mitch: [after seniors threaten him] Er, Mr. Payne. Sir. You know every second that you could let us out early would really increase our chances of survival.
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle.
[the boys jump]
Mr. Payne, junior high school teacher: Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.
Benny O'Donnell: Mitchy. Mitchy, mitchy, mitchy...
[all the guys laugh]
Benny O'Donnell: We're lookin' for you pal. Your ass will be purple before the day is over!
Tony: [Wooderson has just driven off after hitting on Cynthia] God, that was so creepy!
Mike: Wait, why are you smiling?
Cynthia: [shrugs] I thought he was cute.
Tony: Ugh, that's disgusting!
Mike: You thought he was cute? Do you realize when he graduated we were like three years old?
Cynthia: God, don't you ever feel like everything we do and everything we've been taught is just to service the future?
Tony: Yeah I know, like it's all preparation.
Cynthia: Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?
Tony: Life of the party.
Mike: It's true.
Cynthia: You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
O'Bannion: What are you looking at? Huh? I'll kick your fucking ass, right now! What are you smiling at? Freshman faggot!
O'Bannion: Fuck all of you! Fuck you!
Pink: It was vicious. Had some pretty cool seniors though. Like, they'd beat the hell out of you and then get you drunk, that sort of thing.
Simone: You act like you're so oppressed. You guys are kings of the school. What are you bitching about?
Tony: Nothing like piling on old pancakes and syrup after a night of beer drinking.
O'Bannion: This first lick I'd like to dedicate to your mother... fuck her.
Michelle Burroughs: Watch them fly... away
Pickford: Hey you guys know what that song is about? Its about the aliens. We're the aliens man, we're the savages. We're the savages man.
Mike: I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.
John Hirschfelder: I was getting there! I had my hand under her shirt!
Tommy Houston: Hear that, he was 'getting there'. Son, you wouldn't even know what to do if you got there.
Kaye Faulkner: And there you guys were in class, trying to list all the Gilligan's Island episodes without even a *hint* of irony.
Shavonne Wright: What the hell are you talking about, girl?
Kaye Faulkner: Weren't thinking about it, were you?
Shavonne Wright: Gilligan's Island?
Kaye Faulkner: It's what known as a male pornographic fantasy.
Shavonne Wright: [laughs] Oh my...
Kaye Faulkner: Think about it! You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One, a seductive sex goddess type. The other... a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all - the Madonna and the whore. And women get nothing! We get a geek... an overweight middle-aged guy... some nerdy scientific type, I mean...
Jodi: [interrupts] The professor... is sexy.
Jodi: Heard they got you pretty bad.
Jodi: They just got Hersh too
Mitch: Was it bad?
Sabrina Davis: Yeah.
Mitch: Was it O'Bannion?
Sabrina Davis: I think so
Mitch: Man I hate that jerk!
Sabrina Davis: Hey I didn't know Jodi was you're big sister
Mitch: Oh, yeah
Jodi: Hey, I hear my name over here? You guys talking about me? Mitch, I heard they got you pretty bad. Those guys... you know I asked them to take it easy on you?
Mitch: What? Well no wonder!
Mike: It's what everybody in this car needs is some good ol' worthwhile visceral experience.
Pink: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?
Don: I don't know. A few, I guess.
Pink: A few? Don, all I'm saying is, I bet we could do just as well if we were in a band or something.
Slater: You cool man?
Mitch: Like how?
Slater: [rolling his eyes as he walks away] OK.
Pink: He was asking if you get high.
Coach Conrad: Before next fall you're in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man. You'd better get your priorities straight. And watch out with that other crowd you're runnin' with. Don't think I haven't noticed.
Carl Burnett: We're not in Junior High any more. We're freshmen. We're in the big time now... where the girls will be puttin' out all the time.
Michelle Burroughs: [singing] Watch them fly...
Slater: [stoned] Hey you know that song is about the aliens?
Darla: What did she say? Like, what did she call me?
Shavonne Wright: Nothing!
Darla: Oh, come on, "nothing", I know you're lying when you do that. I know you're lying, you bitch.
Simone: Come on, we know they talk about us, just tell us.
Shavonne Wright: You swear you're not gonna get mad?
Simone: I'm not gonna get mad, I'm just curious.
Darla: I'm not gonna get mad, I think it's a riot. I don't care what she thinks.
Shavonne Wright: OK, she called you a bitch and you a slut.
Simone: A slut? She called me a slut? Oh my god, what a bitch.
Shavonne Wright: [laughing] Simone, everybody calls you a slut.
Darla: Oh, shit!
Simone: Shavonne! That bitch, I'm gonna kick her ass!
Shavonne Wright: I thought you said you weren't gonna get mad?
Simone: I'm not mad.
Pickford: Walkin' down the hall, by myself, smokin' a jay with fifty elves.
Shavonne Wright: Hey can we have a couple of those beers?
Dawson: These beers? Why?
Shavonne Wright: Just gimme a beer.
Mr. Pickford, Kevin's Dad: You guys know anything about a party?
Pink: No sir.
Mike: I didn't think drugs and alchohol were such a big deal they had to resort to Neo-McCarthyism to get rid of it.
Pink: I think they're just worried that some of us are having too good a time.
Pink: Wait a minute. Who put the keg all the way out here in the woods?
Jodi: I dunno. This is where they said it would be
Jodi: Really? We don't need the beer anyway.
Dawson: Mmm... bowling ball. Bowling ball. Yeah throw it. Faggot, sissy, pussy, freshman.
Randall 'Pink' Floyd: Yeah, there's always one senior who has to be the bad-ass.
Dawson: There's Shavonne. I think she might still be mad at me Watch me get something going here.
[the girls show up]
Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
Slater: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
Slater: All right, check ya later!
[the girls leave]
Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about man?
Dawson: Check ya later! Check ya later!
Slater: Hey man, get off my case man.
Assistant Coach: Hey ladies, are you gonna be ready to play football this fall? huh?
Benny O'Donnell: I don't know coach, I've been doin' so well in english I thought I might work on bein' a writer. What do ya think about that?
Assistant Coach: Boy, you woudln't know how to spell your own name if it wasn't stencilled on your locker.
Carl Burnett: Don't let the fact that you won't be able to sit down all summer affect your game
Jodi: Ask Tony to marry you.
Sabrina Davis: Will you marry me?
Tony: Oh god, what am I supposed to say?
Mike: I dont know.
Tony: Uh, whadda ya do for me?
Sabrina Davis: Umm, anything you like.
Tony: [turns to Mike] Imagine the possibilities.
Simone: I did it when I was a freshman, and you'll do it when you're seniors. but you're doing great. Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. Fry!
Tommy Houston: Your days of lying around all night with Clementine are over.
John Hirschfelder: Yeah right.
Benny O'Donnell: Just remember, those guys don't care if you win or lose.
Julie Simms: You're Mitch, right? I think I heard about you.
Mitch: Oh really, what did you hear?
Julie Simms: I don't know, man, are you OK?
Mitch: [embarrassed] Oh... yeah.
Pink: Put some ice on it. After that, there's nothing a few beers won't take care of.
Darla: Air raid or it's your ass.
Tony: Don't do it Sabrina
Darla: [drunk] Oh that's it, Miss Hot Stuff. I'm gonna make the next year of your life a living hell
[laughs and walks off]
Darla: LICK ME! All of you!
Pink: Have you seen Jodi around?
Wooderson: No she left your ass.
Pink: Well you win some you lose some.
Tony: [to Sabrina about the hazing] We were just discussing the utter stupidity of these initiation rituals, and we were wondering how someone such as you would subject themselves to the losing end of it all.
Jodi: What are we, having social hour over here? You're supposed to be being a bitch.
Mike: [after Jodi takes Sabrina away] Am I mistaken or was there some unspoken thing between you and that young vixen... you stud.
Tony: Well you know how it is.
Mike: Yeah, I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her.
Tony: Yeah I bet she is.
Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.
Simone: I can't believe she called me a slut. What a bitch!
Shavonne Wright: [laughing] Simone everyone calls you a slut
Cynthia: After a couple of years no one will even remember
Jodi: Who are you?
Sabrina Davis: Um... no one. I mean I'm not in the trucks
Jodi: You're freshman?
Sabrina Davis: Yeah...
Jodi: So... are you in or are you out?
Sabrina Davis: In, I guess
Sabrina Davis: So what do you guys do... for fun I mean
Jodi: Mostly hang out, y'know? There's gonna be a big party tonight, should be fun.
Sabrina Davis: Oh, cool. Sounds fun.
Jodi: [nice] You wanna come?
Sabrina Davis: [happy] Sure!
Wooderson: Cynthia, man? I like it, man.
Pink: Red's a good color for you.
Wooderson: My favorite color.
Pickford: [mockingly, to Mike and Tony] Woodward, Bernstein.
Mike: Guess that makes you Deep Throat.
Mike: [after the fight with Clint] I got some good ones in there, right? I mean, you wouldn't say I got my ass kicked, would you?
Cynthia: Oh no, I mean, after a few years, no one will even remember really, who won or lost.
Mike: Right, like when you read about Hemingway and those guys, no one ever talks about who won, just they got in a brawl.
Jodi: I guess I'll have to get used to seeing you at the same social functions as me. And hanging out with people I know.
Pink: It's best to get it all at once. After the first 10 licks your ass gets so numb you don't feel it.
Pink: They're really doing this
Dawson: Yeah, they want it back by the end of the day too. Can you believe it?
Pink: And everybody's signing it?
Dawson: Just to get the coaches off our backs, they're being fucking assholes. That's why you sign it and never think about it again. Just ket it go.
Pink: [looks pissed and crumples it]
Dawson: You're gonna make a big deal outta this aren't you?
Darla: Ok girlies. It's really hot out here and I'm really sick of looking at you.
Jodi: What are we having social hour over here? I'm supposed to be being a bitch.