Brain Smasher... A Love Story (1993 Video)
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Andrew "Dice" Clay stars as a bruiser who bumps into an attractive lady (Teri Hatcher when she still was hot) and helps her out from being attacked by a gang of Asian thugs. She has a secret that's she's keeping from the Dice Man. Can the Dice Man keep Teri safe from the Asian gang? Will she fall for that big ape? Did anybody watch this movie? If you can find a copy then by all means watch it!
A fun movie that's a lot better than Clay's first starring vehicle (Adeventures of Ford Fairlane). Surprisingly he's a good actor and he carries this film. Ms. Hatcher's not that bad to look at either. A good watch despite the P.G.-13 rating.
Recommended for fans of the Dice Man.
Sounds like a comic book, huh? Guess what, it's a lot funnier than it sounds. First of all, Andrew Dice Clay is no slouch when it comes to acting and brings his unmistakable style to any project he's in. Sometimes it's all in the delivery, and Dice wrote a book on that. Also, there's great chemistry between him and fellow co-star Teri Hatcher. This alone is enough to make this movie worth a look. But there's more...
The film's director Albert Pyun, who also wrote and produced it, brings a style and integrity often lacking in big Hollywood movies that are pulled apart by a dozen of writers, directors that are changed half-way through the shooting, and producers imposing crazy ideas on writers (let's not mention any names). Brain Smasher may not have the special effects of Armageddon and lead showers of Commando, but the comic book-like story flow is incredibly smooth and the acting will surprise you, considering the movie practically went straight to video, which to me doesn't make any sense. I mean, look at all the crap that is released on the big screen. The only logical explanation is that Hollywood put Andrew Dice Clay on their black list and won't give him a break.
Back to the story. The Diceman doesn't exactly play his on-stage persona here. (So if you're looking for off-color humor and women bashing, you won't find them here. Not a hue, not a slightest tint of the onstage bully we all admire. :-) It's more of a Stallone-type action hero. His name is Ed Molloy, professional bouncer. He's the best in the business, with lethal fists and Zen-like manners that have earned him the nickname Brainsmasher.
Teri Hatcher stars as Samantha Crain, international supermodel, whose botanist sister, played by Deborah Van Valkenburgh, finds a red lotus flower in the snows of Tibet and thus becomes the target of a gang of fanatical Chinese monks who think that this flower can give them the key to world domination. With me so far? Yuji Okumoto, who heads the gang of killer Ninjas (but don't you call them Ninjas or they'll break your nose!), has certain plans he hopes to realize with the help of the lotus flower, and must be stopped at all costs. This where the fun begins.
Running from killer Ninjas, the swashbuckling sisters decide to split. That's when Samantha runs into Ed. The bouncer and the model team up to stay alive. With little in common except being in this mess together and a growing mutual attraction, the romance sparks and spectacular street combat sequences provide the wall-to-wall action while the laughs keep flying! Like all great love-on-the-run movies it will leave you breathless as the unlikely superhero saves the world while he gets the girl -- and the laughs.
In short, Brain Smasher is the hippest action/comedy ever!
The scene with his parents was hilarious and surreal within the context of the movie. It was like something out of Seinfeld. I wouldn't mind seeing more of Clay in some other features. He never go to reach his full potential. Not bad for a Pyun flick.
Teri Hatcher, Andrew Dice Clay, and Yuji Okumoto are all perfect in their roles, with Okumoto as Wu being an absolute delight on screen. The story itself is insane, and must be seen to believed; director/writer Albert Pyun has been well known for these kinds of things. The action was well done and a lot of fun to watch, particularly with the monks (whom must insist that they are not ninjas). It's also strangely satisfying watching Clay knock people about.
The movie does slow down eventually, first with an encounter with Ed's parents, then the two being arrested and detained, and then Samantha being harassed in a bar. The bar and apartment scene at least add a lot of interesting character development, but the police one was kinda dull. At least when the monks arrive and begin tearing the scene up, you're excited to see them back on screen.
The biggest problem with the movie, in my opinion, is the cop-out ending. The whole movie had been building up to a massive showdown, but when it happens, it's over way too quickly and is pretty messy. Wu is also disposed of in a bizarre, unnerving way (complete with unnecessary sound effect) and the movie slows down once again to give Ed and Samantha a chance to talk before it cuts to credits. There should have at least been some sort of prologue...I mean, how do you go the madness that just transpired? In retrospect, Clay's introduction in the beginning of the film seems like a rushed attempt to fill out the movie after only a set story was filmed. It's a shame, because aside from the abrupt ending and Wu's fist face, everything was going fine.
Would I recommend it? Well, it's not as bad as some of the other things Pyun has made - hell, there's way worse made by other people - but it's a fun way to pass the time. I don't regret seeing it, and I'll probably play it for friends who are interested. And hey...it did teach me the One-Two Knockout.
This movie is a wonderful spoof of tough guy boxing flicks, martial arts flicks, and gunplay. The older sister, veteran of an old 80's sitcom and also the movie Streets of Fire, did a wonderful job with her part. The main characters, played by Hatcher and Dice Clay, were funny and witty.
Most folks really don't understand spoof humor when it's well done...and this movie was full of it. Chinese monks jumping up onto a building (trampolene-phu) and clapping for each other, bouncers indenting foreheads, over the top cops, and a beautiful woman...
Now, if they'd only take it to DVD.
The plot is great, the humor is funny, the action is cool, even the soundtrack and score are amazing (unfortuantly it's unavailable and the band that wrote a bunch of the songs is impossible to track down). The only reason I can see why someone (ie. 90% of people) would not like this movie is if they take it too seriously. It's supposed to be funny and there are a bunch of scenes where things are exaggerated but in a ridiculous funny way that makes me laugh.
Keep in mind I don't particularly like Andrew Dice Clay or Teri Hatcher (I don't have any of their other movies), but they are both perfect for the roles in the movie. I mean at times it's hard to tell if they're acting or just being themselves.
Anyway, like I said most people will not like this movie BUT if you're looking for an action- comedy movie with a cool plot that isn't meant to be taken seriously then I'd try it out.
Diceman, the most Italian Jewish actor in history, stars as a bold and brash bouncer believing himself to be beyond the behest of beautiful beau, Terri Hatcher. Watching Desperate Housewives these days makes me want to award Terri with a Most Improved Actress award, not because she's any good now, but because her acting in this early piece makes the Diceman look nearly competent. At one point, she actually breaks character and calls Ed by Dice's real first name, Andrew.
Does this sound like a negative review? I absolutely loved the movie, being a fan of shaolin monks, Dice, and the beautiful city of Portland. Well done all.