Brain Smasher... A Love Story (Video 1993) Poster

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5/10
A Love Story with Kung Fu
caspian19784 October 2004
A straight to video surprise, Brain Smasher is everything a good low budget b-movie should be. Andrew Dice Clay and Teri Hatcher star in this weird, yet funny and enjoyable action packed love story that makes you shake your head and smile. Not your typical love story, Brain Smasher is a simple story of boy meets girl, boy saves girl, and boy wins girl in the end. Andrew Dice Clay plays, more or less, himself in this movie. Although he is not the typical Dice that we have seen on stage, he gives a good performance to prove once again to the critics that he is an actor and not just a comedian. Hatcher adds her sexy charm and wit to the movie as the story's damsel. Together, they are an interesting match. For fans of both actors, Brain Smasher is one of those movies you rent when all else fails.
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7/10
Andrew "Dice" Clay, Actor....
Joseph P. Ulibas3 March 2005
Brain Smasher...A Love Story (1993) was a second starring vehicle for stand-up comedian Andrew "Dice" Clay. The movie was his second in a three year period. After the luster of his mainstream success died down, the Dice Man went back to the clubs to take care of business. The taste for the silver screen (courtesy of D.T.V.) was calling and starred in this action/comedy film along with Teri Hatcher.

Andrew "Dice" Clay stars as a bruiser who bumps into an attractive lady (Teri Hatcher when she still was hot) and helps her out from being attacked by a gang of Asian thugs. She has a secret that's she's keeping from the Dice Man. Can the Dice Man keep Teri safe from the Asian gang? Will she fall for that big ape? Did anybody watch this movie? If you can find a copy then by all means watch it!

A fun movie that's a lot better than Clay's first starring vehicle (Adeventures of Ford Fairlane). Surprisingly he's a good actor and he carries this film. Ms. Hatcher's not that bad to look at either. A good watch despite the P.G.-13 rating.

Recommended for fans of the Dice Man.
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10/10
Smashing, baby, yeah!
chainsmoker22 September 2001
The Diceman must rescue a supermodel, smash some brains along the way and ultimately save the entire world.

Sounds like a comic book, huh? Guess what, it's a lot funnier than it sounds. First of all, Andrew Dice Clay is no slouch when it comes to acting and brings his unmistakable style to any project he's in. Sometimes it's all in the delivery, and Dice wrote a book on that. Also, there's great chemistry between him and fellow co-star Teri Hatcher. This alone is enough to make this movie worth a look. But there's more...

The film's director Albert Pyun, who also wrote and produced it, brings a style and integrity often lacking in big Hollywood movies that are pulled apart by a dozen of writers, directors that are changed half-way through the shooting, and producers imposing crazy ideas on writers (let's not mention any names). Brain Smasher may not have the special effects of Armageddon and lead showers of Commando, but the comic book-like story flow is incredibly smooth and the acting will surprise you, considering the movie practically went straight to video, which to me doesn't make any sense. I mean, look at all the crap that is released on the big screen. The only logical explanation is that Hollywood put Andrew Dice Clay on their black list and won't give him a break.

Back to the story. The Diceman doesn't exactly play his on-stage persona here. (So if you're looking for off-color humor and women bashing, you won't find them here. Not a hue, not a slightest tint of the onstage bully we all admire. :-) It's more of a Stallone-type action hero. His name is Ed Molloy, professional bouncer. He's the best in the business, with lethal fists and Zen-like manners that have earned him the nickname Brainsmasher.

Teri Hatcher stars as Samantha Crain, international supermodel, whose botanist sister, played by Deborah Van Valkenburgh, finds a red lotus flower in the snows of Tibet and thus becomes the target of a gang of fanatical Chinese monks who think that this flower can give them the key to world domination. With me so far? Yuji Okumoto, who heads the gang of killer Ninjas (but don't you call them Ninjas or they'll break your nose!), has certain plans he hopes to realize with the help of the lotus flower, and must be stopped at all costs. This where the fun begins.

Running from killer Ninjas, the swashbuckling sisters decide to split. That's when Samantha runs into Ed. The bouncer and the model team up to stay alive. With little in common except being in this mess together and a growing mutual attraction, the romance sparks and spectacular street combat sequences provide the wall-to-wall action while the laughs keep flying! Like all great love-on-the-run movies it will leave you breathless as the unlikely superhero saves the world while he gets the girl -- and the laughs.

In short, Brain Smasher is the hippest action/comedy ever!
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10/10
This film is very good, a must-see!!
s157739811 September 2001
This film is excellent, a must-see for fans of action/comedies. Dice-Clay and Hatcher are both terrific in the lead roles, while the woman who played Seinfeld's mother in the tv series is also very good. The film also has quite good special effects and is a lot of fun!
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9/10
Hilarious Schlock-filled action flick
rickert5 February 1999
I accidentally caught this film on TV one night on a channel I didn't really get, and noticed it was filmed near where I live. This piqued my interest enough to rent it, and boy was I glad I did. B-Movie man Albert Pyun wrote and directed this hilarious martial-arts action film. It's got a lot of comedy in it (sometimes not intentional) and Pyun manages to even make Andrew Dice Clay likeable! It also has a pre-Lois Teri Hatcher as well. It's corny fun, not meant to be taken seriously, similar to Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon. Lots of one-liners, running gags, decent action, and Teri Hatcher, what else matters?
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Good fun from Clay
oxblood28 November 2004
I saw this movie a few months ago on Saturday afternoon TV. It caught me by surprise. From the beginning, it caught my got my interest and though it was pretty strange casting, it was actually a good b-movie. It had plenty of action and the stunts weren't bad either. Teri Hatcher looked sexy as always and the monks were a hoot. But it was Clay who stole the show. He was his usual smart-ass self and much better than that "Ford Fairlane" crap.

The scene with his parents was hilarious and surreal within the context of the movie. It was like something out of Seinfeld. I wouldn't mind seeing more of Clay in some other features. He never go to reach his full potential. Not bad for a Pyun flick.
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5/10
Worth the viewing time
sxct16 January 2004
This is the campiest movie you will ever see. It is so bad that it is hysterical. Teri Hatcher tries to play it straight and Andrew Dice Clay is just Andrew Dice Clay. See it. The laughs will make you glad you did.
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"This guy has no nuts."
utgard149 February 2014
Action-comedy from Albert Pyun that was a starring vehicle for then-relevant comedian Andrew Dice Clay. The real star of the movie, though, is a young and beautiful Teri Hatcher. She's very funny and immensely likable. Clay is surprisingly enjoyable, as well. The plot is some nonsense about a red lotus flower and some "not ninjas" led by Chozen from Karate Kid 2. Some other recognizable faces are Tim Thomerson and Brion James as moronic cops. Liz Sheridan (Mrs. Ochmonek from ALF) plays Clay's mom. Despite the low-budget trappings and an irritating rock music score, it's actually a fun movie with some nice humor and a good cast. If nothing else, see it for Teri.
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5/10
Thin fun
gridoon19 November 2007
"Brain Smasher...A Love Story" is sort of fun to watch (there must be about 5 or 6 laughs here and there) and Teri Hatcher is sexy and feisty. But the script is just too thin and one-note: these evil Chinese monks want this flower that is the key to Ultimate Power, and Andrew Dice Clay, Teri Hatcher and Deborah Van Valkenburgh try to keep it away from them. That's it. The whole movie is basically an extended chase, without many plot complications: the monks catch up to the heroes, the heroes fight them off, the heroes run away, repeat. The other thing that bugged me was the inconsistency in the way these monks are presented: at certain times they seem to be invincible and almost superhuman, jumping from and to incredible heights (these acrobatics are definitely the freshest idea of the movie), at other times they are bumbling, inept and useless in a fight. Oh well, I guess you can just look admiringly at Teri Hatcher and try to forgive the weaknesses....Footnote: Brion James and Tim Thomerson have two very small parts as police officers. (**)
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6/10
Super bizarre, but there's fun within
stcanard522 August 2013
Warning: Spoilers
A few months ago, I stumbled upon an online shop selling restored, converted-from-tape movies that had fallen into obscurity, and I found myself fascinated with one movie called "Brainsmasher: A Love Story". A quick look at the trailer promised me complete, unfiltered cinematic insanity, so I eagerly ordered a copy. Post-view, I have to say that despite some blemishes, it was still a fun ride.

Teri Hatcher, Andrew Dice Clay, and Yuji Okumoto are all perfect in their roles, with Okumoto as Wu being an absolute delight on screen. The story itself is insane, and must be seen to believed; director/writer Albert Pyun has been well known for these kinds of things. The action was well done and a lot of fun to watch, particularly with the monks (whom must insist that they are not ninjas). It's also strangely satisfying watching Clay knock people about.

The movie does slow down eventually, first with an encounter with Ed's parents, then the two being arrested and detained, and then Samantha being harassed in a bar. The bar and apartment scene at least add a lot of interesting character development, but the police one was kinda dull. At least when the monks arrive and begin tearing the scene up, you're excited to see them back on screen.

The biggest problem with the movie, in my opinion, is the cop-out ending. The whole movie had been building up to a massive showdown, but when it happens, it's over way too quickly and is pretty messy. Wu is also disposed of in a bizarre, unnerving way (complete with unnecessary sound effect) and the movie slows down once again to give Ed and Samantha a chance to talk before it cuts to credits. There should have at least been some sort of prologue...I mean, how do you go the madness that just transpired? In retrospect, Clay's introduction in the beginning of the film seems like a rushed attempt to fill out the movie after only a set story was filmed. It's a shame, because aside from the abrupt ending and Wu's fist face, everything was going fine.

Would I recommend it? Well, it's not as bad as some of the other things Pyun has made - hell, there's way worse made by other people - but it's a fun way to pass the time. I don't regret seeing it, and I'll probably play it for friends who are interested. And hey...it did teach me the One-Two Knockout.
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7/10
Pyun's pinnacle- so far...
poe42627 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Albert Pyun just may be the most talented of the "no budget" directors (who include the likes of Charles Band, Stuart Gordon, David Schmoeller, Ted Nicolaou, Don Jackson- that whole crowd) and this just may be his best movie to date. Clearly boasting a bigger budget than anything else he'd done up to that time, BRAIN SMASHER gives us two very fine (and very funny) performances, by Andrew Dice Clay and Teri Hatcher, and some truly great action sequences. At the time of this movie's release, there was talk that there might be a GREEN HORNET movie in the works; if so, that might explain the masks sported by the villains herein. (If not, it's one whale of a coincidence.) If BRAIN SMASHER was Pyun's bid to prove to The Powers That Be that he was capable of helming a big screen version of THE GREEN HORNET, it should've sold them. Pyun has shown flashes of brilliance in the past (in what many consider "lesser fare," like CYBORG, DOLLMAN, KNIGHTS, and NEMESIS), but has rarely been given a real chance to shine. I, for one, would be very interested in seeing his take on THE GREEN HORNET.
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10/10
Wonderful spoof comedy
bsampsel3 July 2006
I caught this movie on Showtime back in 1993, completely by accident.

This movie is a wonderful spoof of tough guy boxing flicks, martial arts flicks, and gunplay. The older sister, veteran of an old 80's sitcom and also the movie Streets of Fire, did a wonderful job with her part. The main characters, played by Hatcher and Dice Clay, were funny and witty.

Most folks really don't understand spoof humor when it's well done...and this movie was full of it. Chinese monks jumping up onto a building (trampolene-phu) and clapping for each other, bouncers indenting foreheads, over the top cops, and a beautiful woman...

Now, if they'd only take it to DVD.
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8/10
I loved it, but most people won't
hivitaminc15 December 2005
Well I know I'm in the minority here because all of the friends I've shown this movie to think it's awful. In fact a friend lent me the movie and when I told him I liked it he told me to keep it! But I love this movie. I've watched it maybe a dozen times and it just grows on you.

The plot is great, the humor is funny, the action is cool, even the soundtrack and score are amazing (unfortuantly it's unavailable and the band that wrote a bunch of the songs is impossible to track down). The only reason I can see why someone (ie. 90% of people) would not like this movie is if they take it too seriously. It's supposed to be funny and there are a bunch of scenes where things are exaggerated but in a ridiculous funny way that makes me laugh.

Keep in mind I don't particularly like Andrew Dice Clay or Teri Hatcher (I don't have any of their other movies), but they are both perfect for the roles in the movie. I mean at times it's hard to tell if they're acting or just being themselves.

Anyway, like I said most people will not like this movie BUT if you're looking for an action- comedy movie with a cool plot that isn't meant to be taken seriously then I'd try it out.
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Great and wily fun.
Iceman-3914 February 1999
Andrew Dice Clay is awesome in this film, and Teri Hatcher is as fine as usual. This film has it all the comedy is non stop as well as the action, I didn't know what to expect but I was very pleased. All and all it's a really good movie, very much worth seeing, I rate it 8 out of 10.
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6/10
Frantic, brainless, but fun .............
merklekranz26 July 2015
Andrew Dice Clay spewing forth insults, not on stage, but in a totally bananas film about Ninjas seeking to recover a Lotus flower with supernatural powers. The fast pace and a superior soundtrack help immensely. Clay's sharp dialog, laced with dark humor, is great. His character is the expected pompous self, while Terri Hatcher provides an excellent foil to Clay's wisecracking. Brion James is mostly wasted in a small role as a detective, and the generic ninjas have zero depth to their characters. In my opinion, the scene with the Dice Man's parents, is worth the price of admission. Colorful night time Portland photography is another plus. - MERK
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8/10
If you're looking for a good Dice movie, ya got tha job, ya hear!
kakasqid29 October 2006
Diceman cometh of age in this fiesty, tongue-in-cheek love drama where the ninjas aren't the only thing that kicks ass. . . actually ninjas do nothing in this movie because there are no ninjas, only Shaolin Monks with a penchant for the theatre of the absurd.

Diceman, the most Italian Jewish actor in history, stars as a bold and brash bouncer believing himself to be beyond the behest of beautiful beau, Terri Hatcher. Watching Desperate Housewives these days makes me want to award Terri with a Most Improved Actress award, not because she's any good now, but because her acting in this early piece makes the Diceman look nearly competent. At one point, she actually breaks character and calls Ed by Dice's real first name, Andrew.

Does this sound like a negative review? I absolutely loved the movie, being a fan of shaolin monks, Dice, and the beautiful city of Portland. Well done all.
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3/10
Comedy for dummies
ZoMbIe_AtTaCk25 March 2008
I'm shocked to see all the positive feed back for this movie. There is absolutely nothing exciting, funny or entertaining about this movie. It's clear from the get go that the whole thing is a third rate knock off of big trouble in little china. It's clear the actors hearts weren't in it. The only part I found funny in the whole movie was when the botanist gets the gun and murders a bunch of Asian monks in cold blood. Ridiculous. Even the tag-line is stupid. That's what this movie is, stupid. that's exactly it. This movie came as something of a shock when I stumbled upon it a little while ago, because it has been such a blessed long time since I've seen a movie I hated so much. I tend to avoid watching movies I know will cause me physical distress. I was stunned, unable to look away. I'm actually glad I saw it, you know... Because you need bad movies to make you appreciate good movies more. This movie really gives you some perspective. Thanks Brainsmasher
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3/10
Head Scratcher...A Pyun Film.
Son_of_Mansfield30 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
There is a base enjoyment to be had with an Albert Pyun film. It's so dumb and insulting that you can't help but stare at the screen. Brain Smasher is about a bouncer, who can smash brains with a single punch, who falls for a model and helps her fight off a band of ninjas, I mean monks, who want the rare flower that her sister has, which will give them ultimate power. Andrew Dice Clay is the bouncer and he isn't lead material. He is a stand up comic playing himself and he was never funny or likable. His one expression of toughness, reminiscent of Vanilla Ice or Mark Whalberg, isn't much to look at. Teri Hatcher, the model, plays vapid like her name is Barbie, but she is the one we should like. Instead, her whining makes you wish Clay would punch her. Also, Their chemistry as a couple is non-existent. As for the movie itself, it's full of racist jokes and blah violence. Pyun sets out to lambaste the genre, but the joke is on him. He has made an action movie every bit as simple as the ones that come out of the big studios.
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Dross
InMyTribe23 June 2002
What possessed a good actress like Deborah Van Valkenburgh to accept a role in dross like this ? She must have been hard up for cash to star in such a Z grade flick. Ms Van Valkenburgh is a great Film, TV and Theatre star and deserves much better. Check her out in The Warriors, A Bunny's Tale, Changing Destiny and especially Rampage. A disapointment.
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