Sam:
You don't like raisins?
Joon:
Not really.
Sam:
Why?
Joon:
They used to be fat and juicy and now they're twisted. They had their lives stolen. Well, they taste sweet, but really they're just humiliated grapes. I can't say I am a big supporter of the raisin council.
Sam:
Did you see those, those raisins on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff?
Joon:
They scare me.
Sam:
Yeah me too
Joon:
It's sick. The commercial people they make them sing and dance so people will eat them.
Sam:
It's a shame about raisins.
Joon:
Cannibals.
Sam:
Yeah. Do you like avocados?
Joon:
They're a fruit you know.
Sam:
Ruthie, do you got any avocados?
Joon:
Why do you hate me so much?
Benny:
I don't hate you.
Joon:
You need me to be sick.
Sam:
How sick is she?
Benny:
She's plenty sick. Now listen to me, I've been doin' some thinkin'-
Sam:
Because, you know, it seems to me that, I mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she's pretty normal.
Joon:
Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.
Joon:
Having a Boo Radley moment, are we?
[
looking at Joon's ear]
Sam:
Kirk Douglas... Van Gogh... ear.
Sam:
I'm Sam.
Benny:
So I hear. I'm Benny.
Sam:
With an 'n'?
Benny:
Yea two of 'em. This is Joon.
Sam:
With an 'n'?
Joon:
One. You're out of your tree.
Sam:
It's not my tree.
Benny:
You can't bet a human being!
Joon:
You can't throw him out, I won him!
Joon:
She was given to fits of semi-precious metaphors.
Benny:
The woman is a housekeeper, Joon, not an English professor.
Joon:
Did you have to go to school for that?
Sam:
No, no, I got thrown out of school for that.
Sam:
Thanks for the couch. Um... Mike made me sleep under the sink.
Joon:
Have we an internal sequin issue to deal with, Benjamin?
Sam:
Joon.
Joon:
What?
Sam:
I-I love you.
Joon:
Me too.
Joon:
[
door opens; gets up] Don't tell Benny.
Sam:
Okay.
Sam:
Mommy?
Joon:
He can really cook, can't he?
Benny:
Uh, yeah. Although for grilled cheese, I mighta used a wool setting.
Joon:
That's what I told him.
Benny:
Really? What-what did he use?
Joon:
Rayon.
Benny:
Mm.
Joon:
Silk would have been too soggy. Cotton would have...
Benny:
Would have burned it.
Joon:
Right. Fortunately, he consulted me before giving it steam. I was four square against it.
Benny:
So why'd you leave?
Ruthie:
L.A.? I wasn't that good of an actress.
Benny:
Well, that's not how Sam tells it. He's raving about you.
Ruthie:
Yeah, well, he's sweeter than he is judgmental. How long have you known him?
Benny:
Sam? Uh, 72 hours.
Ruthie:
Be serious.
Benny:
I am... serious.
Ruthie:
Really?
Benny:
I'm always serious. I'm too serious.
[
while playing cards]
Eric:
Salad shooter!
Sam:
Oh my God! "I've just been looking for my boyfriend. Have you seen him? He's a cute guy with a little mole on his right cheek."
Local:
Hey, Ruthie. One of your ghosts come back to haunt ya?
Sam:
"AH! Oh, Brad! Oh, Brad. Brad, please don't be dead. Brad, I never had a chance to tell you what you meant to me. Oh, Brad, please!" It's you! You're you! Ruthie Melony, co-star of the Prom Queen Mutilator with Dick Bebe!
Ruthie:
You saw that?
Sam:
"He was mine! He was mine!" "No, Cindy. You're sick. Cindy, you need help. No, Cindy! No, no!"
Joon:
I lost...
Benny:
What's in the pot?
Joon:
A cousin.
Benny:
Hey. Where's Sam?
Joon:
I didn't mean to kick him out. I mean, I didn't kick him out, he just - he just left.
Benny:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What - What happened? Did something happen?
Joon:
He just - he just left. He was - he was in the air and-and-and - with a thing and - that was really loud. It was really loud. And all- I-I just kept seeing... He didn't mean to do it.
Benny:
Do it? What? What- Did he- What did he do?
Joon:
He cleaned the house.
Thomas:
[
while playing cards] Soap on a rope. Slightly used.
Benny:
I hope you're happy... I hope you're happy with what you have done to her.
[
throws Sam against wall]
Benny:
You just stay the hell away from my sister.
Sam:
[
shakes his head] No... no.
Benny:
You wanna know why everyone laughs at you, Sam? Because you're an idiot. You're a first-class *moron*.
[
lets go of Sam. Pauses]
Sam:
[
nodding head while stumbling slowly away] You're scared, Benny.
Benny:
I'm *what*?
Sam:
You're scared. I can see it... And I know why. I used to look up to you. But... uh... now I can't look at you at all.
[
walks out of hospital]
Sam:
[
takes "Help Wanted" sign from window of video store and walks to manager] I wanna help...
Joon:
Don't underestimate the mentally ill. We know how to count.
Sam:
Tapioca?
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