Grace Under Fire (1993–1998)
Wade Swoboda: I love you like a Sister.
Grace Kelly: Oh, Wade. I'm Southern. Please don't tell me you love me like a sister!
Grace Kelly: We don't worship Satan on Halloween. We do that on Mother's Day.
[Sitting at Grace's kitchen table, discussing Jimmy's first month living in the garage]
Grace Kelly: He's two days late with the rent.
Jean Kelly: What?
Grace Kelly: I told him '$550, in cash, on the 1st of every month, under the ta... ble'
[hesitating - reaches underneath table]
Grace Kelly: .
Jean Kelly: It's times like these that make it hard to defend him.
Grace Kelly: Next month I'm gonna tell him 'On the house', to see if he puts the money on the roof.
[Grace has walked in and discovered that ex-husband Jimmy is talking to black neighbor, Thad]
Grace Kelly: Jimmy! What did you say?
Thad Alford: Well, I can honestly say I've met your whole Klan.
Grace Kelly: Ex-husbands are like Crosby, Stills & Nash. They keep coming back - older and fatter.
[Grace has taken Jean to see a doctor, who happens to be a black man]
Jean Kelly: He's Afro-American.
Grace Kelly: Jean, African-American. "Afro-American" is like spaghetti-o's or something.
[Grace and Jimmy are talking about their past relationship]
Jimmy Kelly: Grace, I am truly sorry for what I did to you. Hell, if I was the man I was today, I beat the Hell out of the guy I was then.
Grace Kelly: You would?
Jimmy Kelly: Yep. You know, I wonder how that fight would turn out? I got more meat on me now, but I was one quick son of a gun back then.