Frasier is outraged to learn that Thomas Jay Fallow, an author acquaintance from his days in Boston, has used the story of Frasier's first sexual experience as the basis for his best-selling romance novel.
An irate neighbor presents Frasier with a litter of puppies which she claims are Eddie's. Frasier insists that Martin have Eddie fixed, which touches off an argument between the two over Frasier's house rules.
Frasier, Niles, and Martin help to deliver a baby when their taxi driver goes into labor in the middle of the road. Niles decides to experiment with fatherhood by carrying around a sack of flour as an imaginary baby. Frasier's ill-considered message on an ailing employee's get-well card leads him to steal it from the man's hospital room.
Frasier and Niles are surprised and pleased when Martin invites them to share a drink at Duke's, his favorite bar. Guilt overcomes them, however, when they realize that they are investors in the developer that has targeted Duke's for demolition.
Niles becomes agitated when the plumber called over to fix Frasier's toilet turns out to be Danny Kriezel, his nemesis from junior high. Frasier encourages Niles to speak to Danny as one adult to another, but finds his own resolve tested when confronted with Danny's older brother Billy.
Bulldog asks Roz to produce his show; Frasier scornfully dismisses the offer as yet another attempt to get Roz into bed. Feeling unappreciated, Roz angrily quits and works for Bulldog. Bulldog's ratings soar while Frasier's plummet, but he refuses to swallow his pride, certain that it's only a matter of time before Bulldog makes his move.
Sam Malone visits Frasier in Seattle; it turns out he needs advice on whether to go through with his wedding. Complications arise when Frasier realizes that he had an affair with Sam's fiancée, Sheila.
Frasier casually wanders into Daphne's bedroom, making her furious with him. He apologizes, but inadvertently does it again, this time catching her naked in the shower. Meanwhile, Niles desperately tries to soften Maris after he foolishly believes her declaration that she wants no birthday party or presents.
Frasier and Niles put themselves forward as candidates for two vacant memberships in Seattle's exclusive Empire Club; upon learning that there is only one vacancy, they try to sabotage each other at the opening cocktail party.
Martin prepares for his annual ice-fishing trip, but when Duke cancels, Niles volunteers to go along, wanting a chance to bond with his father. Frasier does so too, ruminating that his father has never in his life said "I love you" to him.
One of Frasier's callers, a German woman named Gretchen, suspects that her husband is having an affair with his client. Frasier suspects that the woman is Maris. When Niles finds out, he challenges the (very large) man to a duel.
Bebe, Frasier's agent, convinces him to sham sick during his contract negotiations. After she issues an ultimatum to the station manager, the two spend a tense night at his apartment, and sleep together. The next morning, he tries to let her down gently, but then hears that she is threatening to jump from the station window.
Visiting a venerable old Seattle restaurant before its final closing, Frasier and Niles decide to buy the place. Disasters ensue on their opening night, including a mass walk-out by the staff, the fire sprinklers going off, and a car crashing through the wall.
Frasier comes home in the mood to celebrate Martin's birthday, only to find he and Daphne arguing over doing his exercises for the umpteenth time, and Niles furious at him for "stealing" one of his patients. When a blackout traps the family and Roz in the apartment, Frasier gamely tries to carry on the party atmosphere.