The Adventures of Pete & Pete (1993–1996)
Older Pete Wrigley: Why is it that when you miss somebody so much that your heart is ready to disintegrate, you always hear the saddest song ever on the radio?
Artie, The Strongest Man in the World: Soon you will be like Cheese Boy: melty, melty, melty!
Older Pete Wrigley: She's a girl, and she's my friend, but she's not my girlfriend.
[after Younger Pete attempts to break the world's record for days without sleep]
Joyce Wrigley: Beautiful day, isn't it?
Younger Pete Wrigley: Dawn was better.
Younger Pete Wrigley: Will I ever see you again?
Artie, The Strongest Man in the World: Worry not, boy. Worry not... for I am Artie, the strongest man
[takes superhero position]
Artie, The Strongest Man in the World: in the world!
Endless Mike Hellstrom: I am the Doctor of Death, and I have come to cure you of your life.
Mr. Throneberry: Aloha maku maku. Don Ho will not emerge from the Valley of Darkness.
Older Pete Wrigley: I'll give you anything you want. You can destroy anything in the house, tear up the yard, anything.
Endless Mike Hellstrom: Anything?
Older Pete Wrigley: Anything.
Endless Mike Hellstrom: You got any... Neapolitan ice cream?
[Older Pete nods]
Endless Mike Hellstrom: Good, Wrigley. Good.
Don Wrigley: C'mon Pete, we gotta kill Bob while he's still alive!
Park Ranger Thorsen: You got a license for that tattoo, son?
[Younger Pete shows him a license]
Younger Pete Wrigley: Read it and weep, fungus-lick!
Artie, The Strongest Man in the World: Begone with you pulpy, before I fold you into some type of brochure!
Monica: I am so sick and tired of hearing lucky this and lucky that. Why don't you take your lucky necklace stuff it down your lucky mouth before I push you down this lucky hill and make you poop in your lucky underpants.
Big Pete Wrigley: Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, the Spirit had ended; it had all been doused. The ornaments were yanked from the tree with despair, while dad vacuumed pine needles from his rump.
Bus Driver Stu Benedict: Carrot-top Judas... THOU HAST FORSAKEN ME!
[after being betrayed by Pete while he's baking him a cake]
Bus Driver Stu Benedict: I'll just put the finishing touches to my...
Bus Driver Stu Benedict: Trust! Loyalty! Niceness!
[Older Pete has just failed a driving simulator]
Mr. Slurm: Congratulations, Mr. Wrigley... you're dead.
Fran 'Pit Stain': [to Little Pete] We've all got our problems, Wrigley. Mine happens to be glandular, yours happens to be my fist!
Bus Driver Stu Benedict: [grabbing Pit Stain's arm before he can punch Little Pete] Hi. I'm Stu Benedict, bus driver, and you're...
[looking down at Pit Stain's arm, which is still in his hand, with visible disgust]
Bus Driver Stu Benedict: ... sweating all over me!
Younger Pete Wrigley: Hey, Blowhole, wherever you are, in forty-five minutes I'm going to be famous. And you know what you're going to be? A blowhole!