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378 reviews in total

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274 out of 298 people found the following review useful:
The Holy Grail of bad movies, 9 August 2003

Author: Justin Michels from Atlanta, Georgia

This is it, folks -- the worst movie ever made.

I know, I know, there are many who argue that "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and "Manos: The Hands of Fate" are worse "films" than this one. Well, I'd advise those people to give "Troll 2" another viewing, this time with an open mind. As something of a self-made authority on the worst of the worst in modern cinematic torture, I feel qualified to make the bold assertion that "Troll 2" is the cream of that particular crop.

From its laugh-inducing "soundtrack" (apparently recorded using only a vintage 1980s Casio keyboard) to its unilaterally awful acting, "Troll 2" is a life-changing experience, similar to the Middle Ages' trials by fire. If you succeed at ingesting this festering piece of cinematic detritus in one sitting, you will emerge a new person, like a phoenix rising from its own ashes. The watching itself may be painful, but it is ultimately worth the pain to be able to say, with conviction, "I survived 'Troll 2,' and I'm still technically alive."

The special effects in this movie are, indeed, special -- like a one-legged blind woman with Alzheimer's. Trivia: one of the various Emmanuelles from the infamous "Emmanuelle" series of soft-core porno movies designed this movie's pitiful costumes. That should give you some indication of their quality.

The acting -- my God, where do I start? Suffice it to say that, if you set any cast member on fire, I would lay down even money that he or she would have a hard time convincing onlookers that it hurt. They're really that bad. More trivia: One of Elliot's "boys" in this movie would later go on to reprise his role (Disposable Character in Bad Movie) in the Lou Diamond Phillips classic "Bats." Even more trivia: The father in this movie was a local dentist, and most of the extras were bona fide Utah residents, as well. Talk about low-budget.

Back to the soundtrack -- There's not a single scene in the movie where the music is appropriate to the on-screen action. I get the impression that the "composer" employed for this stinker was, in fact, a failed auditioner for Def Leppard's still-vacant keytarist position. Seriously, it's rare, even in straight-to-video dogs like this one, to hear music of this woeful caliber.

What more can I say that hasn't already been set forth in previous reviews? This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and that's saying something. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting to watch this film -- I recommend doing it alone, at least the first time you see it...that way, you can concentrate on its truly majestic badness -- and on feeling your brain cells die off, one by one, until you are no longer able to speak.

Good luck to you, if you decide to watch this one. It doesn't get any worse than "Troll 2."

ADDENDUM (October 2007): This is still the worst movie of all time. Its status as such will never change. "Troll 2" is simply the perfect storm of bad writing, casting, direction, cinematography, costuming, score, makeup, effects, acting, editing, and inspiration.

UPDATE (June 2010): I just watched it again. Alone. In one sitting. God help me, some component of my brain must be fundamentally defective.

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134 out of 155 people found the following review useful:
Forced to watch!, 9 April 2005

Author: fox_tabatha from United States

My sister made me watch this. She insisted it was a contagion, a disease she was compelled to spread. After seeing it, I truly understand, relate, and recommend.

It's awful! But a transcendent awfulness...you want to pass it around like milk that might be spoiled, but everyone needs to test it anyway.

I've never laughed so much at something that isn't even trying to be remotely comedic; it's a travesty.

I'm not surprised there are drinking games built around it, but you'll be more than amused watching it sober.Yes, it's that bad! But fun - you want to see it over and over again, and force other people to watch it too. Rent it on a particularly bad day: you'll forget everything irritating in your life, and be weirdly involved in a world of badly-clad midgets; suddenly wondering if baloney sandwiches or urine could possibly be the solution... If you vote, give it a one - it truly deserves the recognition of being one of the worst movies ever.

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87 out of 101 people found the following review useful:
Awful, but funniest thing ever., 6 February 2005

Author: zygfrieds_baboon from Lincoln, England

Imagine....some really bored media students who have rented a motor-home and have loads of popcorn to be used. Then imagine a film where those are the most expensive things in it. This is that film. Troll 2 - yet has no troll. Just goblins. But hey. The first time I saw this, I wished I had been wearing a nappy or sitting on a very big sponge, it is that funny. Personally, I could not get up from rolling around on the floor, nor the people I was with, although they had it worse, as they kept falling off the bed. Unfortunately, it is funny without meaning to be, simply because it is that bad. It seems to just have people dragged in from the street in the leading roles, which could well be true. Maybe somebody was very drunk when they decided to make this film. Or when they made it. Or when they went ahead with all the stages of production. Just possibly. Anyway, it is hilarious. I got my DVD copy for £2. That says it all really I would say. Watch this film if you want to see: neon-coloured food, children in masks and dressed in sacks charging around a forest set to a dodgy 1990-theme, awful make up, worse acting, even worse dialogue, the funniest yokels ever (including Sheriff Freak - 'nuff said) and the mightiest weapon ever seen in any film ever. Go on, watch it. Best laugh of my life, could be yours too.

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80 out of 92 people found the following review useful:
I bet it was a goblin in disguise!, 29 August 2005

Author: lobello_9 from United States

I would like to begin my review by saying that watching this movie will be like taking a hot fork and shoving it in your eye socket for some people, whereas for others it will be the funniest F'n thing you've ever seen.

Before I get into the meat of the story or as I like to call it a double decker bologna sandwich…Troll 2 has nothing to do with trolls (just goblins), Troll 2 also has absolutely nothing to do with Troll 1. AHA but that's not all!!!! The guy who made the cover for Troll 2 didn't see Troll 1 or Troll 2!!!! The original cover of Troll 2 has a werewolf (Not in Troll 1 or Troll 2) chasing a little boy who doesn't even appear in either of the Troll movies! If that doesn't make you want to take your head and smash it against concrete, I don't know what does.

I will now begin with the double decker bologna sandwich part of my analysis. The film begins with Grandpa Seth talking to his grandson Joshua. Joshua is constipated throughout the film and grandpa is dead. You know the kind of dead where you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you give your 12 year old grandson a Molotov cocktail and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back…that kind of dead. He tells that old story of how Peter Pan ran through the woods one day, ate green goup, and turned into a MLANT. The mother, played by Margo Prey (AKA greatest actress ever) assures Joshua that it was just a dream and goes onto explain that Grandpa's death was, "Very difficult for your father, for Holly, and for me his daughter." You may want to give that quote a second reading… The daughter is also brilliant in this picture. The chemistry between her and her boyfriend Elliott is sizzling!!! Ouch very hot! So sizzling that Elliott and his friends couldn't be more gay! Holly explains, "You take them to bed with you too (referring to Elliott's guy friends that are hanging out the window) and I don't believe in group sex". What??? Holly then explains that her parents don't like Elliott (that he is a good for nothing) and that they are going on vacation for a month. Ellliott then asks, "Is it true you're going on vacation tomorrow?" "Yes!" "I'll come with you?" "OK I'll tell my father that you're coming with us tomorrow" Believe me the movie keeps going…Joshua must do it he must do it! He must pee on everyone's food before they eat corn with green paste on it. Oh my god! Or how about "You're a genius big Sister!" Watch for the mother staring directly into the camera and yelling, "Oh dear god what can we do!" So they have this family exchange and they go to Nilbog and oh my god!

This movie is a pure masterpiece. It's so bad it's fantastic! I recommend everyone to give it one viewing just so you can say you've survived it's stupidity. Make sure you watch it with friends though…DO NOT watch this movie alone or you will lose your mind trying to figure out why anyone would make a movie this bad...I will leave you with this: Mother says "Elliott what are you doing here?" Daughter says "Elliott is part of the family now!" Mom puts her hand on Elliott's face, "Oh Elliott!"

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92 out of 128 people found the following review useful:
If this movie passes for a horror flick, then so does Bambi, 18 June 2005

Author: lmntathffan from United States

YIKES! I have not seen this movie recently, but I remember wanting to see it when I was very young, right when it had just came out. I believe I was 7 or 8, and I saw the movie in a blockbuster, read the back as best as I could, and said, "That sounds funny". I vaguely remember an opening scene where a man is being fed food by a girl, and he turns into a tree or dies or something, and immediately, I thought, "What the hell is this crap?". The movie progresses at an equally bad rate: A family comes to a town called Nilbog, and not a single one of them notices that Nilbog spelled backwards is Goblin, which makes no sense, because the title of the movie is, I believe, TROLL 2, not Goblin 2. Of course, the lead character, a small boy, happens to glance into a rear view mirror on his parents car, and see's that Nilbog backwards spells Goblin. Only one problem: Nilbog reflected in a rear view mirror spells qodliN, not gobliN. WHOOPS! Then there's this stupid chase scene through a forest, where Goblins keep on popping up from nowhere, and urging people to run towards them. Over all, this movie was pure junk. 1 star because I am in a good mood.

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66 out of 81 people found the following review useful:
Infectious Disease, 7 April 2005

Author: fifi_fox666 from United States

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'm ashamed to admit I've seen this. I don't know what's worst- the "plot" or the "acting" -I've never seen a more hideous and inept cast! And how about the "special effects" and lame 80's music? Not to mention the hair, clothes, the lack of continuity... and that dance sequence! Was that really necessary?

The only positive thing I can say is that I laughed... but it's not supposed to be funny.

And, huh, "Nilbog?" Who saw THAT coming?

Horribly bad in an epic way. Torment friends, neighbors, love interests and total strangers with this, PLEASE!

I Suffered through it! I inflict it on everyone I know, like the infectious disease it is. Give it a "1" but spread it around.

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44 out of 49 people found the following review useful:
The Best bad movie EVER! Zero Stars out of 5, 8 May 2005
Author: Lance from United States

This here is a treasure for bad movie buffs like myself. Absolutely unbelievable.

Perhaps my favorite scene is when the family is greeted by complete strangers holding a welcome party in the FAMILY's house. Well... their temporary house that they, uh... well, you'd have to see the movie. Anyways, they are in the house and some old lady is playing country music on the piano. Everyone goes "La la laaa la la la la la la laaaa" and there is this fantastic breathtaking shot of a person carrying a cake towards the family.

Well maybe my real favorite scene is where little Joshua is snooping during a town meeting. They are all discussing the evils of meat, sausages, and clusters of hemorrhoids.

I have never seen a more delightful piece of absolute trash in my entire life. Everything here couldn't be more laugh inducing. It's made on such a technically inept level it's unimaginable. Some of the most memorable (not in a good way) lines of dialog are presented here:

"Joshua is not a little s***, he's just very sensitive."

"If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them."

For a film that's titled "Troll 2" didn't it seem kind of strange that there were goblins and no trolls in the film? And don't let this fool you into thinking the original Troll film is terrible. It hasn't anything to do with that film.

Yes, my friends, if you want bad film-making, look no farther!

"Eggs! BLEH!"

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44 out of 50 people found the following review useful:
Worst Movie Ever Made?, 4 February 2007
Author: El_Sid from United States

Probably.

Whilst looking over the titles in IMDb's Bottom #100 last year, I saw one film that caught my eye. At #4 it was Troll 2. I remembered seeing "Troll" a few years previously and was completely unaware there was a sequel. So I looked through the first three or four pages of the user comments and saw the words "worst film ever made" about twenty times. Having seen many, many truly awful films I found this hard to believe. So I decided to check it out for myself, and a week later I managed to track down a copy.

Troll 2. Is it as bad as they say? Yes, and possibly worse. The Plot (if you can even call it that) goes something like this. The Waits family is sick of the food in their local town, so they organize a House Swap with a family in the town of NIBLBOG. But the young Joshua Waits protests, as his recently deceased Grandfather has told him about what really goes on in NILBOG through bedtime stories. But of course the family ignore him, and all the other screaming evidence which shows that the half empty town is run by Goblins (no, not Trolls, Goblins.) Upon arrival of their new home, they discover a nice meal is already set out for them. Its green and looks like vomit, so of course they set down at the table to eat this "delicious" food. But then Joshua's Granpa's ghost comes out of nowhere to warn Josh that the food is dangerous as it has been made by the Goblins. So how does Josh save the day? Gets up on the table and takes a p iss all over their food of course!

From then on its midgets wearing paper masks, humans turning into plants, three kids traveling to NILBOG in a caravan and all sleeping half naked in the same bed, the discovery of the fact that "NILBOG" is actually "GOBLIN" written backwards and A double-decker bologna sandwich!

Troll 2 is painful to watch. The acting literally made me cringe, and the soundtrack (which is recorded using a 1980s Casio keyboard) didn't fit it in in any scenes, nor was it ever appropriate, the "special effects" were truly hilarious and the extras in the film looked embarrassed just to be there. Plus, I couldn't help but notice the movie was lacking in Trolls, as the title would imply there might be some. But oh well, you can't have everything...

1/10 - Because I can't vote 0. Highly recommended!

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44 out of 52 people found the following review useful:
You have to watch this movie!, 28 December 2000

Author: the narra†or from Sydney, Australia

Isn't it strange that almost all bad movies concern goblins of some sort? The best way to watch this movie is to get everyone you know and play the Troll 2 drinking game that a clever IMDB member submitted with his comment. You may die, but it'll be worth it. There are many hilarious scenes in Troll 2, but I won't spoil them. Most of the hilarity relies in the absolutely dismal acting and incomprehensibly awful dialogue (Including the classic 'Nilbog is goblin spelt backwards'). The special effects are also very funny, most notably the spear throwing scene. And the funniest scene of all is the supposedly erotic scene, involving a woman with a corn cob. Only bad movie fans need apply. If you liked Hobgoblins, you'll love Troll 2. 10/10

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33 out of 36 people found the following review useful:
A more fitting tagline might have been "What the hell was that?", 4 February 2011

Author: Kristine (kristinedrama14@msn.com) from Chicago, Illinois

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Oh, my God, where do I even begin with this film that hasn't already been said? Troll 2 is so famous that I think it can't be considered a cult film any more as it's gone more mainstream. Again, how I never saw this film until last night I don't know. I've heard so much about these Troll movies that it's just crazy how a film so bad has such a huge reputation. The Room by Tommy Wiseau has recently taken over the "king of good bad movies" crown but I had to see who was the former king and Troll 2 often came up in the conversation. Now of course due to YouTube the most famous scene being the "They're eating her and then they're going to eat me! Oh, my Goooooood!" has been uploaded too many times to count. But this film is so much more than that: horrifically bad acting, awful special effects, a weird "plot", bad writing and just craziness ensues.

Joshua Waits is being contacted by his dead Grandpa Seth. Seth informs Joshua of evil creatures known as goblins roaming the world who force or trick humans into consuming poisoned food which will turn them into the goblin's favorite type of food, vegetables. The goblins would then eat them.Meanwhile Joshua's sister, Holly, receives a visit from her boyfriend Elliot. She accuses him of spending too much time with his friends. Since she and the rest of the family are going to Nilbog for a holiday, he offers to meet her on the way. She agrees but under the condition that he will come alone without his friends. However, Elliot does not turn up at their meeting point and Holly's parents, Michael and Diane, go on without him. They meet him further up the route but she angrily dismisses him since he is accompanied by his friends. A meal has been prepared at the house where they are staying, but Joshua's grandfather shows up again and freezes time for thirty seconds, giving Joshua a chance to stand up on the table and urinate on the food, and thus prevent his family from eating. Meanwhile one of Elliot's friends, Arnold, goes out for a walk and meets a woman being pursued by the goblins. Running away, they enter the house of the goblins' druid leader, Creedence, who uses the "Stonehenge Magic Stone" to give the goblins power. Creedence dupes the two into drinking a magic potion which causes the woman to disintegrate into a puddle of vegetable matter which is then eaten by the goblins, and now we know why everyone in the town is so eager to make the family eat their food, even though they're not so subtle about it.

Between the "you can't p*** on hospitality" scene to the corn on the cob seduction scene, this movie is unbelievable. I don't know who was the worst actor in here but I'd say the leading contender is Deborah Reed who plays Creedence, the leader bad troll, I guess it was one of those "non acting" days. She was beyond over the top making you wonder what she was inhaling before each shoot. I love how the dead grandpa is talking to his young grandson, why wouldn't he just haunt one of the adults so maybe someone who doesn't sound like they have a wild imagination talk some sense into this family who is going to "Nilborg"… mmph! Sorry, I'm still recovering from this movie, why the family would take vacation to this weird town is beyond me and how they didn't drive away with those "subtle" trolls in disguise as humans who keep telling them to eat, I mean just… wow! Not to mention that they say they're vegetarian trolls, yet are turning human meat into vegetables, I mean, any vegan opinions? Bologna is their ultimate enemy and is by far the weirdest way to defeat an evil monster. I would say this movie is definitely a miracle, how it was created, who knows? Any of the actors or writers realize how bad this was while shooting it? I suppose I should see the documentary "Best Worst Movie" in order to find out, but the question is even if I want to see it? I still need to recover from Troll 2, all I can say is that after I finished watching this movie I finally snapped out of my mind set to see that I had been robbed and was sitting on the floor and the robber left a note saying how he felt bad for me that I was watching Troll 2 and that I would have no meaning for life any more after viewing it.

1/10

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