Thirty-something Jonna, successful ad executive with cozy architect husband Niklas and two small children, leads a double life. She is constantly on the lookout for quick casual sex. When ... See full summary »
Jobe is resuscitated by Jonathan Walker. He wants Jobe to create a special computer chip that would connect all the computers in the world into one network, which Walker would control and ... See full summary »
A modern-day updating of the Dracula legend that finds Steven, a good-looking American hero devastated by the death of his girlfriend, wandering through Europe and looking for happiness. A ... See full summary »
Six escaped convicts and their female hostage make a desperate run for the Mexican border, where they stumble across a lost treasure of untold wealth, and find certain death instead on the Arizona desert.
A young child is terrified to discover that a planned family trip is to be haunted by vile plant-eating monsters out of his worst nightmare. His attempt to save his beloved family is assisted by the spectre of his deceased grandfather. Also, there are NO trolls in this movie, only goblins. Written by
Mike Thibault <firstname.lastname@example.org>
The film's trailer consists primarily of alternate takes unused in the final cut. See more »
When Arnold and the girl reach the "house that looks like a church", a plaque on the wall clearly says Porterville, the town where the Nilbog scenes were shot. See more »
[after his female companion sips the broth and starts immediately getting sick]
What's wrong, what's wrong with her?
Creedence Leonore Gielgud:
Quit worrying about her and drink your broth.
See more »
I know, I know, there are many who argue that "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and "Manos: The Hands of Fate" are worse "films" than this one. Well, I'd advise those people to give "Troll 2" another viewing, this time with an open mind. As something of a self-made authority on the worst of the worst in modern cinematic torture, I feel qualified to make the bold assertion that "Troll 2" is the cream of that particular crop.
From its laugh-inducing soundtrack (apparently recorded using only a vintage 1980s Casio keyboard) to its unilaterally awful acting, "Troll 2" is a life-changing experience, similar to the Middle Ages' trials by fire. If you succeed at ingesting this festering piece of cinematic detritus in one sitting, you will emerge a new person, like a phoenix rising from its own ashes. The watching itself may be painful, but it is ultimately worth the pain to be able to say, with conviction, "I survived 'Troll 2,' and I'm still technically alive."
The special effects in this movie are, indeed, special -- like a one-legged blind woman with Alzheimer's. Trivia: one of the various Emmanuelles from the infamous "Emmanuelle" series of soft-core porno movies designed this movie's pitiful costumes. That should give you some indication of their quality.
The acting -- my God, where do I start? Suffice it to say that, if you set any cast member on fire, I would lay down even money that he or she would have a hard time convincing onlookers that it hurt. They're really that bad. More trivia: One of Elliot's "boys" in this movie would later go on to reprise his role (Disposable Character in Bad Movie) in the Lou Diamond Phillips classic "Bats." Even more trivia: The father in this movie was a local dentist, and most of the extras were bona fide Utah residents, as well. Talk about low-budget.
Back to the soundtrack -- There's not a single scene in the movie where the music is appropriate to the on-screen action. I get the impression that the "composer" employed for this stinker was, in fact, a failed auditioner for Def Leppard's still-vacant keytarist position. Seriously, it's rare, even in straight-to-video dogs like this one, to hear music of this woeful caliber.
What more can I say that hasn't already been set forth in previous reviews? This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and that's saying something. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting to watch this film -- I recommend doing it alone, at least the first time you see it...that way, you can concentrate on its truly majestic badness -- and on feeling your brain cells die off, one by one, until you are no longer able to speak.
Good luck to you, if you decide to watch this one. It doesn't get any worse than "Troll 2."
ADDENDUM (October 2007): This is still the worst movie of all time. Its status as such will never change. "Troll 2" is simply the perfect storm of bad writing, casting, direction, cinematography, costuming, score, makeup, effects, acting, editing, and inspiration.
UPDATE (June 2010): I just watched it again. Alone. In one sitting. God help me, some component of my brain must be fundamentally defective.
POSTSCRIPT (September 2013): This film continues to alter the life of each man, woman, and child with the good fortune/taste to bathe in its glory. I could not recommend it more strongly.
332 of 361 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?