Leslie Zevo: Four stores and many Christmases ago, my father brought forth a factory conceived in innocence and joy and squeezable fun for everyone.
Leslie Zevo: We're going to fight fire with marshmallows.
Patrick Zevo: Are you taking my duplication investigation seriously or are you disrespecting my duplication investigation?
Patrick Zevo: I can't even eat. The food keeps touching. I like military plates, I'm a military man, I want a military meal. I want my string beans to be quarantined! I like a little fortress around my mashed potatoes so the meatloaf doesn't invade my mashed potatoes and cause mixing in my plate! I HATE IT when food touches! I'm a military man, you understand that? And don't let your food touch either, please?
Leslie Zevo: Let's all bob our heads for a brief moment of prayer... those who can.
Leslie Zevo: Hold 'till you see the lights in their eyes.
Leslie Zevo: Today may be the beginning of the end... or the end of the beginning... or the beginning of the beguine.
Leslie Zevo: There's a madman at the factory, and it's no longer me.
General Leland Zevo: Hey, remember that kid, flew a beechnut right into Red Square?
Patrick Zevo: Beechcraft.
General Leland Zevo: What?
Patrick Zevo: He flew a beech *craft* not a beech *nut*.
Alsatia Zevo: Well, red usually means "Caution," or "Beef" if it's a bouillon cube.
General Leland Zevo: Put this place on red alert. They're as good as dead.
Hagenstern: That's your son, sir.
General Leland Zevo: War knows no relatives.
Leslie Zevo: Bastards, they attacked us while we were at prayer. It's like Pearl Harbor.
Leslie Zevo: In the words of Mahatma Gumby, "We are toys of tolerance, but there's only so much that a toy can tolerate."
Leslie Zevo: You tried to kill us all...
General Leland Zevo: Heh... c'mon, Leslie... can't you take a joke?
Leslie Zevo: Oh yeah! I love jokes! I love all kinds of jokes. But you know what I don't like? I don't like people trying to kill me, hurting my family and my friends, and destroying the whole world as I know it. That just doesn't sit well with me.
Asian Researcher: This vomit is very Anglo.
Alsatia Zevo: You know, you remind me a lot of my brother.
Patrick Zevo: That's impossible. We're exact opposites.
Alsatia Zevo: That's what I mean. He's all silly and soft on the outside and on the inside he's really strong and you're just the opposite.
Leslie Zevo: This doesn't look like vomit.
Asian Researcher: Sorry sir, thats diarrhea.
Leslie Zevo: Send that over to the Poop department.
Researcher: Is this room getting smaller or am I bloating?
Asian Researcher: What!
Leslie Zevo: Oh look, we're being attacked by a crossword puzzle.
Alsatia Zevo: I'm very disappointed that you never once had an applesauce sandwich on your menu.
Joe at Cafeteria: Applesauce? Miss Zevo, the sandwich will get all soggy
Alsatia Zevo: Oh, I don't mind.
Joe at Cafeteria: I make you one tomorrow, okay?
Alsatia Zevo: Okay, thank you very much. I'll just go ahead and have the mayonnaise sandwich again today, then.
Hagenstern: Should I deactivate the sea swine, sir?
Leslie Zevo: A sea swine? Oh, yes, you deactivate the goddamn sea swine!
Leslie Zevo: I'd hug you but your body is over there.
Alsatia Zevo: I really miss my heart.
Leslie Zevo: We'll get you two back together soon.
Alsatia Zevo: [Leslie's reading her a bedtime story] I don't get it.
Leslie Zevo: It's a fable.
Alsatia Zevo: No, I don't get why Daddy left his business to Uncle Leland.
Leslie Zevo: I know, it would've made more sense for him to leave it to Owen.
Alsatia Zevo: Or to you.
Leslie Zevo: I broke into the restricted area, well actually I danced my way in.