Barry Fife:
There are no new steps!
Scott:
Look, a beginner has no right to approach an Open Amateur.
Fran:
Yeah, well an Open Amateur has no right to dance non-Federation steps, but you did, didn't you?
Scott:
But that's different.
Fran:
*How* is it different? You're just like the rest of them! You think you're different, but you're not, because you're just, you're just really scared! You're really scared to give someone new a go, because you think, you know, they might just be better than you are! Well, you're just pathetic, and you're gutless. You're a gutless wonder! Vivir con miedo, es como vivir a medias!
Fran:
A life lived in fear is a life half lived.
Fran:
What happened to a life lived in fear and all that stuff?
Scott:
Fran...
Fran:
You really are a gutless wonder!
Scott:
There's a reason for this.
Fran:
I don't want to hear!
Scott:
Listen to me!
Fran:
No!
Scott:
It's hard for me too, Fran.
Fran:
*Hard*? Hard? How hard do you think it's been for *me*? To get you to dance with me in the first place? Frangipannidellasqueegymop. Wash the coffee cups, Fran, how's your skin, Fran? Hard?
Scott:
You don't understand.
Fran:
I understand. You've got your Pan Pacifics to win, and I'm back in Beginners, where I belong.
Kylie:
A bit of musicality, please!
Scott:
I have to help Wayne with his bogo pogo.
Liz:
What do I want? I'll tell you what I want! I want Ken Railings to walk in here right now, and say 'Pam Shortt's broken both her legs, and I wanna dance with YOU!'
[
the door flies open. It's Ken]
Ken:
Pam Shortt's broken both her legs, and I wanna dance with you.
Kylie:
That was unexpected.
Wayne:
What's wrong with you?
Scott:
That's what I've been trying to find out for the last three weeks, Wayne! What is wrong with me? What is so wrong with the way I dance?
Doug Hastings:
We had the chance but we were scared. We walked away. WE LIVED OUR LIVES IN FEAR!
Doug Hastings:
Hard to get the films these days... it's all video, video.
Liz:
Where the man goes, the lady must follow...
Shirley Hastings:
And what about Les? He's taught you everything you know, and you're just throwing it back in his face!
Scott:
I'm bored with it!
Shirley Hastings:
I don't believe I'm hearing this! I've been with your father for twenty-five years! Do you think I get bored? Of course I do!
Shirley Hastings:
[
after berating Scott for leaving Tina hanging in order to find Fran] And what about Les? He's taught you everything you know and you're just throwing it back in his face!
Scott:
I'm bored with it!
Shirley Hastings:
I don't believe I'm hearing this! I have been with your father for twenty-five years - do you think I get bored? Of course I do!
Wayne:
What the hell was that all about?
Shirley Hastings:
What?
Wayne:
You know, with Fran?
Shirley Hastings:
[
uneasy laugh] Fran... Fran...
Tina Sparkle:
Fran? Wasn't she the girl that um...?
Shirley Hastings:
[
laughs] Well, here we all are!
[
Scott approaches the group]
Scott:
Where is she?
Shirley Hastings:
Who?
Scott:
Fran.
Shirley Hastings:
Fran... Fran... Fran... who?
Tina Sparkle:
You know, the girl that fell.
Shirley Hastings:
Oh, she went home, darling. Don't worry about her!
Les:
Come on now, Scott, Tina's waiting.
Scott:
You're all so scared, you wouldn't know what you thought!
Terry:
[
to Les] Look, is he dancing with Tina or not?
Scott:
[
to Tina] I'm sorry, Tina, I'm not available.
Barry Fife:
Where do you think we'd be if everyone went around making up their own steps?
Scott:
Out of a job.
Barry Fife:
[
referring to Ken Railings] Let's not forget, Les, that a Pan Pacific Champion becomes a hero, a guiding light to all dancers, someone who'll set the right example.
[
Meanwhile, on the dance floor]
Liz:
[
fake smile] You've been drinking!
Ken Railings:
Bullshit! Push it!
Liz:
You bloody have!
Scott:
We're telling a story. The rumba is the dance of love. Look at me like you're in love.
[
Fran follows this instruction perhaps a little too enthusiastically]
Scott:
That's it. Good.
Barry Fife:
If you can't dance a step, you can't teach it, and if you can't teach it - we might as well all pack up and go home. With young Liz available again, you've got a chance to get your status quo vadis back... so to speak.
[
Charm snatched the power cord from Kylie]
Charm:
No you don't little miss!
Kylie:
Shame on you, Miss Leachman!
Scott:
I'm just asking you what you think of the steps.
Liz:
I don't think! I don't give a shit about them, we lost!
Barry Fife:
Well, of course, you can dance any steps you like! But that doesn't mean you'll...
[
Slam into a close-up of Barry's mouth]
Barry Fife:
...win.
Ya Ya:
Listen to the rhythm. Don't be scared.
Scott:
Liz...
Liz:
Piss off!
Scott:
Liz!
Liz:
I'm not dancing with you, all right? I'm not dancing with you 'til you dance like you're supposed to!
Liz:
I knew you'd come to your senses!
[
repeated line]
Doug Hastings:
Son, can I bend your ear for a tick?
Scott:
Not now, Dad.
[
last lines]
Doug Hastings:
Shall we dance?
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