Joe Brofmowski:
Stop or my mom will shoot!
Tutti Bomowski:
His ass was the grass and I was the lawnmower.
Tutti Bomowski:
Stop! Stop that man Joe. Stop that man!
[
Joe tackles the man]
Tutti Bomowski:
I saw that man on America's Most Wanted.
Joe Brofmowski:
What did he do?
Tutti Bomowski:
He killed his mother.
Tutti Bomowski:
[
pointing the gun at her son] Go ahead! Make your bed.
Tutti Bomowski:
[
to the flight attendants] It was so cute, when he was 6 years old he walked into the kitchen and said "Mommy! My peepee's stuck in my zipper!"
Joe Brofmowski:
Mom, I don't like eggs.
Tutti Bomowski:
If you don't eat them now, they'll be waiting here for you at dinner.
Joe Brofmowski:
Why didn't you answer when I called?
Tutti Bomowski:
That was you? You never called.
Joe Brofmowski:
That was me, why didn't you pick up the phone?
Tutti Bomowski:
Every year when I'm about to come out to visit, you call and say it's not a good time, so I decided not to answer the phone this time incase you called.
Joe Brofmowski:
Mom, what're you doing here?
Tutti Bomowski:
I've got to change you.
Joe Brofmowski:
[
looks down and realizes he's wearing a diaper] Mommy! I don't want to be changed.
Tutti Bomowski:
[
holding up diapers and baby powder] I've got to change you.
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