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Plain Plane Pain., 21 July 2010
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Author:
dunmore_ego from Los Angeles, California
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Wesley Snipes is airline security specialist Cutter, who is onboard a
passenger flight when it is hijacked by British terrorists trying to
escape the FBI (Bruce Payne as Charles Rane (who falls mainly on the
plane), and a strikingly beautiful Elizabeth Hurley as his Bad Girl).
Wesley must use his patented Wesley-Kwon-Do to bring down the bad guys
and the plane efficiently.
Too easy to say "DIE HARD on a plane" - because it is.
The only baggage Cutter has brought is flashbacks to when his wife was
killed by a convenience store terrorist and he failed to stop it.
Luckily, a black chick (Alex Datcher) who looks like his wife is one of
the stewardesses (ahem, "flight attendants"), so he can hook up with
her after he shows off his smack talk and kung fu.
When Cutter is on the phone to terrorist Rane, there is that exchange,
forged from the cloth of inane, mustered on the fields of
besides-the-point (but - we presume - totally hot for the stewardess):
Cutter: Do you play roulette? Rane: Occasionally. Cutter: Always bet on
black!
We figure that since Cutter's street-blackness has elevated what was
simply Rane trying to escape from the FBI into a racial struggle, he is
implying that the other color in roulette is WHITE? (Uh, it's red,
Wes.)
Cutter takes out the bad guys as reliably as "Come here often?" has
been used as an unsuccessful icebreaker for centuries. Plane lands in
hick town near a county fair; hick Sheriff chases Cutter cos he thinks
he's the bad guy (I guess in those hick towns, all it takes to be
considered a bad guy is to be black and nearby); people running and
screaming as bad guys invade county fair (ah yes, director Kevin Hooks
leans on the old gambit of "confusion" for "action"), and the plane
hostages go free so that plane can go up in big orange explosion with -
you guessed it - some kind of vehicle transporting massive amounts of
fuel that apparently has no failsafe measures not to explode if
impacted; that in fact, has an ignition facility built in explicitly in
the event of impact, to wake audiences from the drowse they've fallen
into by watching this movie.
In the climactic fight scene between Cutter and Rane, turns out Rane
knows some Wesley-Fu himself, so battle is exciting enough for us to
wonder who is going to win.
No, not really. Go back to sleep.
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