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Medicine Man (1992) Poster

(1992)

Quotes

Dr. Robert Campbell: It's only one fly in the serum. I can't reproduce it.

Dr. Rae Crane: What do you mean?

Dr. Robert Campbell: None of the new samples work and I have very little of the original serum left. That's what I mean when I say I can't reproduce it.

Dr. Rae Crane: Wait a minute. I don't understand.

Dr. Robert Campbell: What don't you understand? I found the cure for the fucking plague of the twentieth century and now I've lost it. Haven't you ever lost anything doctor Bronx? Your purse? Your car keys? Well, it's rather like that: Now you have it and now you don't.

Dr. Robert Campbell: Jesus Christ, woman, must everything be a full-scale debate with you? Just do it!

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Dr. Rae Crane: You must have thought you were really on to something.

Dr. Robert Campbell: I don't think, I know.

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Dr. Rae Crane: You send me back on the basis of my gender. That's called sex disrimination. Look, I understand your reservations. I heard about your wife.

Dr. Robert Campbell: My wife? Good God, she left me. I wish you'd follow her example.

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Dr. Robert Campbell: I found a cure for the plague of the 20th century, and now I've lost it!

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Dr. Rae Crane: Yeah, but closing your eyes won't make it disapear.

Dr. Robert Campbell: Neither will talk.

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Dr. Robert Campbell: I gave Alka-Seltzer to a kid with a belly ache.

Dr. Rae Crane: You did what?

Dr. Robert Campbell: Alka-Seltzer. Cured him in one belch. It was the 'plop-plop'-'fizz-fizz' that really dazzled them.

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[lowering themselves from a cliff, they reach the end of their ropes, still dangling in the air]

Dr. Rae Crane: What happened?

Dr. Robert Campbell: Nothing happened.

Dr. Rae Crane: What happened?

[sees the end of her rope]

Dr. Rae Crane: What happened? What do we do? What do we do now? *This* is a RESCUE?

[starts kicking out at him]

Dr. Rae Crane: This is a rescue? What's the matter with you? You idiot! This isn't a rescue, this is a suicide pact!

[kicks away Campbell's hand as he reaches to steady her line]

Dr. Rae Crane: No!

Dr. Robert Campbell: Calm down! Give me your hand!

Dr. Rae Crane: What for?

[Campbell pulls out his knife and puts the blade to Rae's rope as Rae looks up, horror stricken]

Dr. Rae Crane: What are you, crazy?

Dr. Rae Crane: [Campbell cuts her rope and Rae plummets down , landing feet first into the lake below] Ahhhhhhh!

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[before the rescue]

Dr. Robert Campbell: Don't cry. Listen, when this is over you can cry all you want, and I won't say a word.

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[after the rescue]

Dr. Robert Campbell: Don't cry.

Dr. Rae Crane: [sobbing] You said I could cry all I want.

Dr. Robert Campbell: Oh yes, I did, didn't I? Okay. Go ahead, knock yourself out.

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[telling Campbell about her fiance]

Dr. Rae Crane: You may know him. Tom Fallon?

Dr. Robert Campbell: [incredulous] Tom Fallon? He's almost eighty years old! You'll inherit before the honeymoon's over! I take my hat off to you, my dear.

Dr. Rae Crane: [annoyed] His son!

Dr. Robert Campbell: Oh. Oh no, I don't know his son.

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Dr. Robert Campbell: [referring to the blue tattoo on Dr. Crane's forehead that the Rain Forest Medicine Man gave her while she was sleeping] Oh come on Bronx. Do you really think that Tommy Fallon is going to want to walk down the aisle with a woman who's 'something blue' is a tattoo on her forehead?

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Dr. Robert Campbell: Look, if I wanted to kill us, I'd have find better ways, no?

Dr. Rae Crane: Nooooooo!

Dr. Robert Campbell: Come on! Let go! Rae, let go!

Dr. Rae Crane: Ok...

[Rae is still unsure]

Dr. Robert Campbell: LET GO!

Dr. Rae Crane: OK!

[squeezes her eyes shut, and lets go of the branch]

Dr. Rae Crane: Wooo Ahhh Ahh Ahh! Wuuuhh!

[the line which Campbell has tied around her holds, and Rae swings back and then comes to be suspended next to the hill]

Dr. Robert Campbell: See? Nothing to worry about.

[Campbell begins to lower himself down and motions for Rae to do the same]

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Dr. Robert Campbell: [Campbell and Rae are around a campfire, Rae is taking heavy swigs of the contents of Campbell's jug] Careful, that's peach Pernod, huh?

Dr. Rae Crane: [tries to stand up, and then sits down clumsily, very drunk] Why, I'm not driving!

Dr. Robert Campbell: Or walking, apparently.

Dr. Rae Crane: [drunkenly laughs] . Wooo! No wonder you like this stuff!

[Campbell moves over to her, brings her to her feet and seeing Rae is in no condition to walk, puts his arm between her legs, and in one motion, picks her up and cradles her in his arms, carrying her over to the hammock. Rae laughs drunkenly again as she is literally swept off her feet and begins to sing, horribly off key]

Dr. Rae Crane: I'm in a spin, lovin' the spin I'm in! Come on, Campbell! Big finish, come on, sing us a bar! He He He! Come on!

Dr. Robert Campbell: [Campbell, very sober, begins to sing the first few words and Rae follows suit] There have been words, what can I do? I'm in a name, I'm in a flame...

[Campbell trails off, Rae sings the last word]

Dr. Rae Crane: Come on, sing it!

Dr. Robert Campbell: Get some sleep, Rae.

[Campbell begins to walk away]

Dr. Rae Crane: Doooon't!

Dr. Robert Campbell: What?

Dr. Rae Crane: Don't call me by my given name!

Dr. Robert Campbell: Don't you like it?

Dr. Rae Crane: Yeaaaah, I like it...

[Rae slowly passes out as the hammock swings her to sleep, Campbell looks back to the hammock, and then back to the campfire]

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Dr. Robert Campbell: I don't need a fuckin' interpreter!

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Dr. Rae Crane: Have you ever lost anything Doctor Ornega ? Your passport? Your car keys? It wasn't the bromeliad, it was the ants.

Dr. Miguel Ornega: You are certain?

Dr. Rae Crane: Ah ha!

[Rae sighs, and looks around at the ruin caused by the fires]

Dr. Rae Crane: I seem to have kept the evidence in my other suit.

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Dr. Robert Campbell: Not get my head knocked off in the process.

[Campbell and the Medicine Man are in a battle of wills and walking sticks, while Campbell asks more specifics about the makeup of the serum to cure cancer]

Medicine Man: [shouting at Campbell, and banging his walking stick on the ground]

Tanaki: [translating for Rae] He say, he born of a monkey...

Dr. Robert Campbell: [speaks in the native tongue]

Tanaki: [translates for Rae] Father, you talk gods, know all things...

Dr. Rae Crane: Yeah, nice kiss.

Medicine Man: [shouting at Campbell in native tongue]

Medicine Man: [translating to Rae] He say, he have no father...

Dr. Robert Campbell: [speaks in native tongue]

Tanaki: [translates to Rae] Father, need ju-ju for sick boy. World hold many sick boy...

Medicine Man: [shouting at Campbell in native tongue]

Tanaki: [translates to Rae] He say, bring here...

Medicine Man: [shouting at Campbell in native tongue while fighting Campbell]

Tanaki: [translating to Rae] He say, he no more can get it up than...

Dr. Robert Campbell: [looks back to Tanaki and Rae, momentarily distracted] I don't need a fuckin' interpreter!

Dr. Rae Crane: I do!

[Campbell gets hit in the thigh by the Medicine Man's staff as a result of the distraction, Rae winces in sympathy pain]

Dr. Rae Crane: Awwwww!

Dr. Robert Campbell: [in a slightly low but agitated tone] Watch your step, runt!

Dr. Rae Crane: Campbell...

[Rae cautions Campbell to continue to eat crow to get the information they came for]

Dr. Robert Campbell: [Campbell makes a peaceful motion, slightly raising his staff horizontally in the air but not leaving himself open for attack and speaks in the native tongue]

Tanaki: [translating for Rae] Father, its too far. Ju-Ju in sky flower?

Dr. Robert CampbellMedicine Man: [both Campbell and the Medicine Man circle each other, feigning and parrying off each attack from each other, talking as they fight]

Dr. Rae Crane: What did he say, what did he say?

Medicine Man: AHHHHHHHHH!

[the Medicine Man tries to knock Campbell off his feet with his staff as he shouts a reply, but Campbell blocks the attack and the fight ends, a distressed look comes over Campbell's face. The Medicine Man snuffs Campbell, and walks away]

Dr. Rae Crane: What did he say, what did he say?

Tanaki: [translates to Rae] No ju-ju sky flower... only house for bugs. Campbell's a fool.

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Dr. Robert Campbell: Well, we're back to square one. Where did I go wrong, the kissing up or the eating crow part?

Dr. Rae Crane: Well, it wasn't a total loss.

[Rae looks past Campbell. One of the natives has just walked up and looks to Campbell for help; he holds his sick child, now dying, in his arms]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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