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Legend of the Roller Blade Seven (1992)

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In a post-apocalyptic world where rollerblading is the chief means of travel, the evil Pharoah sends his minions outside the Wheel Zone to abduct a psychic. The psychic has been trained in ... See full summary »

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Title: Legend of the Roller Blade Seven (1992)

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Cast

Complete credited cast:
...
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The Black Knight
...
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Kabuki Devil
...
...
...
Officer Daryl Skates
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Michelle Bellaman ...
Wheelzone Warrior
Ani Bilesky ...
Hawk's Bride
Elisa Chang ...
Wheelzone Warrior
Allison Chase ...
Stella Speed
Liselotte Christiansen ...
Hawk's Bride
Joe Coolness ...
Axxx Man
Angela Dobson ...
An O'ffenderette
Paula Eckert ...
Wheelzone Warrior
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Storyline

In a post-apocalyptic world where rollerblading is the chief means of travel, the evil Pharoah sends his minions outside the Wheel Zone to abduct a psychic. The psychic has been trained in the way of the samurai, but has shunned her training to become a Passive. Once abducted, her brother joins forces with others to try and rescue her, but they face many challenges from the Dark Side. Written by Ed Sutton <esutton@mindspring.com>

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Action | Sci-Fi

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Release Date:

23 June 1993 (USA)  »

Box Office

Budget:

$1,200,000 (estimated)
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Based on two books by author Scott Shaw. See more »

Connections

Edited from The Roller Blade Seven (1991) See more »

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User Reviews

 
I'd Rather sandpaper my brain.
20 July 2003 | by See all my reviews

First off, anyone that claims this movie is supposed to be artistic (see Scott Shaw's Website for a good laugh) is wasting precious air. I have never seen such crap in my entire life, and feel sad knowing that I could make a better movie if I was dead. The acting in this movie is worse than you can imagine, each "actor" moves like a toy soldier with arthritis. Oh wait, I forgot, toy soldiers have charisma, a characteristic lacking in every category of this trash. Supposedly, this movie is advertised as "zen filming," which is supposed to mean spontaneous and improvised, but translates to a bunch of assholes swordfighting in slow motion (badly) with painted halloween swords and pizza hut bats (no joke by the way, I had one years ago). What I got out of the plot was that there is a battle between good and evil taking place in the future in the water resevior from Grease. There, a bunch of random characters appear and dissapear, fight randomly, talk about random, unrelated things, and suck as human beings. Some pointlessly naked women are thrown in, but because you know they are ugly enough as people to be in this crap, they end up being about as attractive as a ninety year old woman rotting in a closet of a nursing home being eaten by mutated rats. Barf. Anyway, some lady dies, marries the main character, dies again I think, then lives in what I think is supposed to be "Limbo." But limbo is apparently naked women dancing in the dessert to some random drummer guy with tribal facepaint. Good thing I watched this, otherwise I would have been in the dark. Just thinking about the movie makes me want to go back to the classes I was taking last year to stop myself from ending my life. So please, don't even watch this movie to laugh. That's the horrible mistake made by my friend and I one dreadful night. A night that still haunts out memories.


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Making a movie about paint drying would be better than this crap artofagression
Great review.. mjcwalina
Jackson should be strung up for making this horror Pluto_of_Pluto
How many times have YOU seen this movie? blackautt
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