It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown (1992 TV Short)
Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?
Violet: It's not even Thanksgiving yet. By the time Christmas comes, all the needles will be falling off.
Charlie Brown: Don't hang it near the turkey.
[the correct line is "Hark"]
Sally Brown: Hockey stick!
Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?
Patty: It isn't even Thanksgiving yet.
Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Thanksgiving wreath?
Marcie: Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord.
Peppermint Patty: [while Marcie is speaking] Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa!
Franklin: I am Gabriel, Mary, and I couldn't hear you because of the sheep.
Marcie: And there were shepherds in the field watching their flocks by night.
Peppermint Patty: Woof! Meow! Moo! Whatever.
[everyone in the audience laughs]
Peppermint Patty: And a partridge in a pear tree.
Peppermint Patty: [on the phone, to Marcie] Marcie, what book were we supposed to read during Thanksgiving vacation?
Marcie: This is Christmas vacation, sir.
Peppermint Patty: Christmas vacation? How can I read something during Christmas vacation, when I didn't read what I was supposed to read during Thanksgiving vacation?
Marcie: Duck, sir. Easter is coming.
Marcie: [Marcie and Peppermint Patty are walking to their school Christmas play] Watch out for the curb here, sir.
Peppermint Patty: What?
[she trips on the curb, in her sheep costume]
Marcie: Slouching towards Bethlehem, huh, sir?
Peppermint Patty: I can't stand it!
Sally Brown: Good morning, would you like to buy a Christmas wreath made from some junky old branches my brother found in a Christmas tree lot? You wouldn't would you? And I can't say I blame you.
Charlie Brown: [on the phone] Sally thinks someone named Harold Angel is going to sing for her.
Charlie Brown: [doorbell rings] Excuse me, somebody's at the door.
[Charlie Brown opens the door]
Harold Angel: Hi, is Sally home? My name is Herold Angel.
Lucy Van Pelt: [looking at a cardboard box on top of a pine tree] I think they look better when they have a little star or an angel on top.
Peppermint Patty: Guess what, Chuck. Disaster time. Our teacher wants us to read a book during Christmas vacation. Got any suggestions?
Charlie Brown: On what book to read?
Peppermint Patty: No! On how to get out of it!
Marcie: Why aren't you reading your book, sir?
Peppermint Patty: It's too nice a day to stay inside and read, Marcie. Besides, I have to build this snowman. If I don't do it, no one else will, and he won't exist. I am his creator, and it is my duty to give him life! This snowman has a right to live, Marcie!
Marcie: You're weird, sir.
Sally Brown: How do you spell your name?
Charlie Brown: I'm your brother, and you don't even know how to spell my name?
Sally Brown: I'll put down "Sam". I know how to spell that.
Sally Brown: I said "hockey stick"! Why did I say "hockey stick"? All I had to say was "hark", and I said "hockey stick"! I ruined the whole Christmas play! Everybody hates me! Moses hates me, Luke hates me, the Apostles hate me! All fifty of them!
Lucy Van Pelt: Okay, get up! I want to lie in that beanbag!
Linus: Remember when we were siting around the Christmas tree opening our presents? That's when you said it.
Lucy Van Pelt: That's when I said what?
Linus: It was beautiful. You said, "Why do we have to be nice to each other only on Christmas? Why can't we be nice to each other every day?"
Lucy Van Pelt: You drive me crazy!
Linus: Joy to the world.
Peppermint Patty: I'm not going to have to read a book, Marcie. See? "A Tale of Two Cities" was just on TV. I watched the movie, so now I won't have to read the book. The only thing I didn't understand were the parts about the shampoo, the soap, and the coffee.
Marcie: Those were the commercials, sir.
Charlie Brown: I want to buy Peggy Jean a nice pair of gloves for Christmas, but they cost $25.
Sally Brown: She's going to be dissappointed when she finds out that her boyfriend is a cheapskate.
Charlie Brown: I'm not a cheapskate, I just don't have $25.
Sally Brown: Put it on your credit card.
Charlie Brown: I don't have a credit card.
Sally Brown: So long, Peggy Jean.
Lucy Van Pelt: Where are you going to get $25?
Charlie Brown: That's the problem.
Lucy Van Pelt: Maybe you can sell your dog.
[Snoopy blows a raspberry]
Lucy Van Pelt: I take it back. He's probably only worth 50 cents.
Peppermint Patty: I'm going to ask the teacher if I could be Mary in the Christmas play this year.
Marcie: She's already asked me, sir.
Peppermint Patty: I think I'll be great in the part.
Marcie: She asked me yesterday.
Peppermint Patty: I like the part where the angel of Gabriel talks to me.
Marcie: Why would the angel of Gabriel talk to you? He'd never listen.
Peppermint Patty: I could probably wear these same sandles.
Peppermint Patty: [raises her hand]
Peppermint Patty: Yes, ma'am, I'd like to volunteer to play the part of Mary in our Chrismtas play.
Peppermint Patty: YOU WHAT?
Marcie: [Teacher mumbles] That's right, sir. She asked me yesterday.
Peppermint Patty: Mary never wore glasses!
Peppermint Patty: Hey, Chuck, did Mary ever wear glasses?
Peppermint Patty: What do you mean "Mary Who"? In the Bible! Does it say anything about Mary wearing glasses?
Peppermint Patty: Then how come Marcie played Mary instead of me? And the teacher says I have to play a sheep!
Charlie Brown: Why can't I ever be a wrong number?
Sally Brown: I live in mortal dread of getting out on stage and forgetting what I am to say.
Charlie Brown: Well, if you did, you could always make up something.
Sally Brown: That's true. How about "Hey"?
Charlie Brown: Not very Biblical.
Sally Brown: This is the line I have to say in the Christmas play. See if I get it right.
[hands Charlie Brown the script]
Sally Brown: Hark!
Charlie Brown: You got it. I've always wondered how actors remember all those lines.
Marcie: I was up late last night memorizing all of my lines.
Peppermint Patty: All your lines?... I can't remember my lines, Marcie!
Marcie: You're a sheep, sir. All you have to say is "Baa".
Peppermint Patty: My mind is going blank! I'm doomed! I wonder if this ever happened to Laurence Olivier?
Peppermint Patty: I can't remember my lines, Marcie!
Marcie: All you have to say is "Baa".
Peppermint Patty: My mind is going blank! I'll never remember! Why do they have to spoil Christmas by making us be in plays?
Marcie: We're on, Sir. Let's show them how!
[Snoopy is dressed as Santa Claus; ringing a bell while standing outside a store]
[as she and Violet walk past him]
Violet: Wouldn't you think he could do something besides ring a bell?
[Snoopy stops ringing the bell and pulls out a bike horn]
Violet: [Lucy walks past Snoopy again; this time with Linus]
Lucy Van Pelt: [to Linus] Just ignore that Santa Claus, Linus. There's nothing he can do to you.
[Snoopy honks the horn so hard, it sends Linus and Lucy flying offscreen]
Lucy Van Pelt: [Lucy walks back and confronts Snoopy] I don't think you're a real Santa Claus. What do you have to say about that?
[Snoopy responds by putting the horn to Lucy's nose and honking it in her face; sending her winter hat flying off her head]
Lucy Van Pelt: [Lucy leaves and Sally enters]
Sally Brown: [confronting Snoopy] I don't think you're the real Santa Claus. If you're the real Santa, where are your helpers?
[Woodstock and two of his friends, who are all wearing Santa hats walk past each holding picket signs with the word, "HELP" written on them, much to Sally's surprise]
Sally Brown: That's the dumbest thing I'd ever seen.
[Sally and Linus are preparing to sled down a hill in a cardboard box]
Sally Brown: [to Linus] Now what? Kinda a steep hill, isn't it?
Linus: Don't worry about it. Just lean forward and jiggle your feet.
Sally Brown: [Sally climbs out of the box] I think I've changed my mind.
[the box falls an inch off the slope; Linus is then face planted in the snow]
Sally Brown: If I'd have known you were only going that far, I would've stayed in.
[Linus tries again]
Linus: Here we go. We put it in fast forward, and here we go!
Linus: [Linus slides backwards down the slope; the box lands on top of him] Fast reverse.
[Linus' third attempt involves him sliding down the hill at a fast speed; the box then lands on top of a tree]
Linus: [camera pulls back to reveal that Linus landed in the snow as Sally and Lucy are standing there]
Lucy Van Pelt: [to Sally] I think they look better when they have a little star or an angel on top.
[Sally and Charlie Brown are selling Christmas wreaths door-to-door]
Sally Brown: [to customer] Good morning, ask your mom if she would like to buy a Christmas wreath. Tell her they were made from the famous forests of Lebanon. You can read about him in the second chapter of the second book of "Chronicles". If you buy two, we'll throw in an autographed photo of King Solomon.
Charlie Brown: [to Sally; as they walk to the next house] You can't tell people these wreaths were made from the forests of Lebanon! That's lying!
[the two arrive at the next house as Sally rings the doorbell]
Sally Brown: [rudely] Good morning. Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath made from some junky old branches my brother found in a Christmas tree lot? You wouldn't, would you? I can't say I blame you.
Sally Brown: [to Charlie Brown; after the customers slams the door] See? Your way doesn't work either!
[fade to Sally and Snoopy contemplating how to sell the wreaths]
Sally Brown: [to Snoopy] I think we need better packaging: we need a better way to show off our product.
[cut to Sally and Snoopy selling wreaths door-to-door; Snoopy is wearing the wreath on his nose]
Sally Brown: [to the customer] Good morning, would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?
Charlie Brown: Good morning, this is a Christmas wreath.
Frieda: [snatches wreath away from Charlie Brown] Thank you, I love samples.
[as Charlie Brown is selling Christmas wreaths door-to-door]
Charlie Brown: [to an adult] Good morning, sir. Would you like to buy a nice Christmas wreath?
[the homeowner slams the door in Charlie Brown's face sending both him and the wreath flying backwards into the snow]
Charlie Brown: [after spitting out snow] Merry Christmas anyway, sir. "God bless us, everyone," said Tiny Tim, the last of all, "and joy to the world!"
Charlie Brown: [picks up the wreath and heads home] Rats!
Peppermint Patty: I'd like to read this book, Marcie. But I'm kinda afraid. I had a grandfather who didn't think much of reading. He always said, "If you read too many books, your head would fall off!"
Marcie: You start the first chapter, Sir. I'll hold onto your head.