Quotes

Hector Guzman: Why, I keep my money in a bank.

Guzman's Guard: El Banco.

Carver: So tell me, how does it feel to kill a man?

Russell Stevens, Jr.: You're God, so you should already know.

David Jason: A man has two things in this world: his word and his balls. Or is that three things?

David Jason: What's the most intense sex thing you ever did? You ever, uh, been with two women at the same time?

John Hull: Yeah, your mother and your father.

Ivy: Ehhh, you a bitch! You wanna suck it bitch? Or do you just wanna drink?

David Jason: This is the greatest night of my life. Terrible, terrible, but great.

John Hull: We took eleven million in drug profits out of the van. The money doesn't know where it comes from, but I do. If I keep it, I'm a criminal. If I give it to the government, I'm a fool. If I try and do some good with it, maybe it just makes things worse. Either way, I'll probably just wind up getting myself in more trouble. It's an impossible choice, but in a way, we all have to make it. What would you do?

Taft: If somebody put a gun to your baby's head, would you try and kill them if you could? Huh? Me too. And by selling that stuff, you're putting a gun to my baby's head. Let me warn you. I'm like a mad dog after a bone. I'd be all over you like stink on doo-doo. Trust me.

John Hull: Gerry, I sold drugs, I've watched people die, and I didn't do nothing. I killed people. You lied to me.

Carver: They lied to me, John. How naive can you get, man? What, what, are you so stupid you can't see that? You think I like this? Huh? John, I'm sorry. Huh? It's all shit, you know. It's all bullshit. You know that. I know that.

John Hull: What the fuck am I gonna do now?

Carver: Hey, you know they're bringing me to Washington? Come along with me, man. We'll go to Washington. We'll have a budget, huh? We'll have some clout, we'll have some...

John Hull: I didn't get into this for that.

Carver: Well, neither did I. But that's all there is. They're the fucking spoils of war. You might as well enjoy it.

John Hull: Well, if that's all there is, I've been wasting my motherfucking time with you. I can get more clout and more money on the street than I can get following your ass to Washington. Know what? This whole fucking time, I'm a cop pretending to be a drug dealer. I ain't nothing but a drug dealer pretending to be a cop. I ain't gonna pretend no more, Gerry. I quit.

John Hull: How much is this?

Betty McCutcheon: Do you know anything about ethnic art? Have you ever been in a store like this? See, we don't put price tags on our merchandise. So if you have to ask, then obviously you can't afford it.

John Hull: In that case I'll take two of them.

Carver: Have some fun. That's an order.

John Hull: David, come on. Take your feet off the couch. You don't do that at your mother's house, do you?

David Jason: Nouveau anal, I think this is called.

Felix Barbossa: It's a good thing he never went to jail, Gopher, because if he came out, he'd have an asshole big enough to swallow a watermelon.

David Jason: Forget this Judeo-Christian bullshit. The same people that taught us virtue are the very ones who enslaved us, baby.

David Jason: This is John Hull, my new associate.

Betty McCutcheon: Your new Eddie. I hear the old one wore out.

David Jason: Well. Factory recall. This is the advanced model.

John Hull: The jungle creed says the strongest feed / on any prey that it can / And I was branded beast at every feast / before I ever became a man.

Felix Barbossa: [after beating Eddie to death with a pool cue] So, John, what do you think?

John Hull: I think you made your point.