Anton: Man and woman together make flower. Douglas, you are stem. Katya, you are petal. Together, we make flower.
Kate: I swear, you let me down and it'll take them a month to count the blade marks up your back.
[preparing to lift Kate]
Doug: You want my hands *where*?
Kate: I'm sure there's nothing I do that you'd find exciting. I don't open beer bottles with my toes, I don't sit around and count what's left of my teeth, hey, I don't even enjoy a good tractor pull. It's been a limited existence, but I've gotten used to it.
Doug: Life of the party, huh? Place must be crawling with guys.
Kate: As a matter of fact, I do have a boyfriend.
Doug: Well there's a rough gig. What do you do, keep him chained up in the basement?
Kate: Hale at the moment is working in my father's London office, he's an MBA - Harvard. You might have heard of it. They do have a hockey team.
Doug: He must be a very smart guy.
Anton: First positions, please.
Doug: Bet you look pretty good from a few thousand miles away.
Kate: Who the hell do you think you are?
Doug: I know exactly who I am, sweetheart. I'm a guy who came a long way for lunch.
Kate: Well, please don't let me keep you from the trough.
Doug: Well, actually, it's kinda interesting.
Woman in Bar: I'll bet.
Drunk: Tell him.
Woman in Bar #2: We're waiting.
Doug: I- I b- I been doin' a little- I been doin' a little figure skating.
Man in Bar: What'd he say?
Walter Dorsey: You been doin' what?
Old man in back of bar: Finger painting?
Kate: If you two will excuse me. Naked male insecurity really leaves me cold.
[On the First Olympic Skate Doug has the top button unbuttoned]
Kate: You are an immature asshole of the lowest order.
Doug: If it was forty below and that button meant the difference between a long satisfying life and a cold horrible death from hypothermia, I still wouldn't give you the satisfaction! Skate!
Kate: If you're so bored, why don't you read?
Doug: What, you mean like a book?
Kate: That is a traditionally accepted format, yes.
Doug: Is this the beginning of a conversation, here?
Kate: I was just simply asking if you knew how to read.
Doug: Yes. Doug can read.
Kate: What was the last book you read? You *were* in college?
Doug: The last thing I read in college was the letter canceling my scholarship when I couldn't play anymore.
Kate: Okay, high school.
Doug: I was a hockey player. The only thing I had to read was a scoreboard.
Kate: And they graduated you?
Doug: They revered me. I was a God.
Kate: What a tragic commentary on our times.
Jack Moseley: What about Spindler?
Anton: Spindler? Spindler say before he skate with her, he wear garlic from neck and sleep with cross. Who is left?
Anton: I am at bottom of barrel.
Jack Moseley: Then you find another barrel.
Kate: Look at my eyes, look at my eyes. That's good. Okay, now smile. Concentrate on my forehead. Okay. Now, look at me and smile. There you go. Yeah. Bigger. Okay, now breathe.
Kate: [disgusted] Just don't breathe on me, okay?
Doug: Hey, I'm sorry buddy, I wouldn't wish this on a snake. I'm outta here.
Anton: [shouts in Russian] Enough! Introduction is over, conversation finished! Mouths closed, ears to be opened.
Anton: Pairs means *two*. You have no partner. You are skating nowhere.
Anton: And where are you going? Ohh, back to Siberia? Skating on small pond is big excitement. And believe me, Gretzky, I am last person who is coming to look for you.
Anton: Good! We skate.
Calgary Cop: Name, son?
[as Doug is charging down the ramp to the arena, late for his Olympic hockey game]
Doug: Dorsey, U.S. Hockey!
Calgary Cop: Hell, son, they're just about to start!
Doug: Yeah, what's the deal - you goof on me, my brother buys you a beer?
Anton: What-what means 'goof'?
Kate: The only problem that he has is finding his zipper fast enough!
Hale: You're falling for him.
Kate: [sarcastic] Yeah.
Hale: You are. You're falling for him.
Kate: Well, that's crazy.
Hale: You think so?
Kate: You're nuts.
Hale: Am I?
Kate: Well, you see how we act together.
Hale: Yes, I do.
Kate: We never get along. I mean, we're always fighting.
Doug: There's only two things I do really well, sweetheart, and skating's the other one!
Pamchenko: She is tremendous skater. Everyone is saying this. La petite, powerful, intelligent. But always is coming the big "B." What a bitch!
Doug Dorsey: You didn't have to.
Kate Mosley: Yes, I did.
Doug Dorsey: Why?
Kate Mosley: Because I love you.
Doug Dorsey: Just remember who said it first.
Doug Dorsey: I was gonna tell you - that book you gave me, it's pretty good.
Kate Mosley: Really. Using it as a doorstop, or a coaster?
Doug Dorsey: Great Expectations.
Kate Mosley: Well, it was either that or "Curious George Plays Hockey". I took a chance.
[Doug drops Kate on her rear]
Kate: [shouting] You, you cretin!
Doug: Guess that move needs some work.
Kate: Toe pick!
Doug Dorsey: [at the hospital after Kate hit his nose with a hockey puck] Toe pick!
[Doug is carrying Kate's flowers and walking her back to her room. The long program is the next day]
Doug: Man, this overnight thing is brutal. Why can't it be a double header, you know? Short program, long program. Same night, boom, we're outta here, you know what I mean?
Kate: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
Doug: It's like 'Enough already!' It's like... what's the word? Uh, y-you know what word I'm looking for? Wh-You know what I mean?
Kate: [trying to open her door] I don't know, uhhh, expectation?
Doug: No, no, when you, uh...
Kate: Anticipation? Excitement?
Kate: [looks up in shock, stunned] Foreplay?
Doug: Yeah, you know, like foreplay.
Kate: Yeah, I know what it means.
Doug: Well, wouldn't you rather just get right to it?
Doug: Skating. Long program.
[Kate stares, wide-eyed]
Doug: Chicago? Nationals?
[holds up her bouquet]
Kate: [still stunned, takes her flowers] Sleep. I'd rather sleep.
[She goes into her room, leaving Doug very confused outside]
Kate: It's Christmas and we skate. I have the flu and we skate. I have a boyfriend in London that I never see. I skate every day for you, so that you can play Dr. Frankenstein with this guy. I show up every morning for seven months so that you can give him two days to go off whoring in New York City?
Anton: Is not entirely correct.
Anton: He went to Boston.
Rick Tuttle: I wanna see your ass in the air!
Kate: Until Hercules here learns how to lock his grip, this will have to do!
[lifts up skirt, showing her butt, and skates around the rink]
Kate: [referring to Doug] When we're through here, can we please teach it how to breathe with its mouth closed?
Walter Dorsey: [after Doug has just told him he's been figure skating] Are they gonna make you shave your legs?
Doug Dorsey: Ah, screw this. I don't even know why...
Walter Dorsey: [laughs] Gotcha!
Doug: It's out.
Kate: It's in.
Doug: It's out.
Kate: It's in.
Doug: It's out!
Kate: It's in!
Doug: What difference does it make?
Kate: The difference is... I'm in the mood to kick a little ass.
Doug: Parlez-vous Olympics?
Doug: [Doug chases Kate into the hotel elevator] Kate! Kate, will you wait a minute? Kate! Kate! Kate! Kate!
Kate: Don't! Don't even try it! Just looking at you makes me sick! To think I was coming to apoligize! Lorie Peckarovski!
Doug: Were you, or were you not engaged to be married until last night?
Kate: Hardly the point.
Doug: You threw me out of your room!
Kate: Count your blessings. She may not have waited much longer!
Doug: That's not how it happened!
Kate: Spare me the details.
Doug: Where the hell do you get off?
Doug: This is my fault? From the first day I walk into your rink, you treat me like a hired hand! Then one night, you get drunk, I'm supposed to roll over and thank my lucky stars? I'm sorry, I don't downshift that fast!
Kate: Get out of my way!
Doug: No problem! I've been practicing that move for a year and a half!
[people are chuckling at them]
Doug: Blind date.
Kate: God's gift to reckless abandon revealed as nothing but a prude in wolf's clothing.
Kate: What were you planning on doing when your gladiatoring days were over?
Doug: You can bet your tights I never thought I'd be working a freak show like this.
Kate: I'm surprised you don't chuck it all and start your own think tank.
Doug: Don't say we are not right for each other, for the way is see it we might not be right for anybody else.
Doug: It can't be any harder to stay together than it was to stay apart.