Aladdin: Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Huh.
Aladdin: Some all powerful Genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way outta here.
Genie: [stomps his foot to stop Aladdin, Abu, and Carpet from leaving] Excuse me?
Genie: Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so, not right now. You're getting your wishes, so sit down!
[as a female tour guide]
Genie: Thank you for choosing "Magic Carpet" for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye, now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye.
[back to normal]
Genie: Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Aladdin: Oh, you sure showed me. Now about my three wishes.
Genie: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by one, boy!
Aladdin: No, no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave. Heh. You did that on your own.
Genie: [gasps and his mouth drops]
Genie: Oh. Well, I feel sheepish.
[turns into a sheep]
Genie: All right, you bad boy. But no more freebies.
Woman: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we, Aladdin?
Aladdin: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught.
Razoul: [snatching Aladdin by the collar] Gotcha!
Aladdin: I'm in trouble.
Razoul: And this time.
Aladdin: [saving Jasmine from an irate merchant] Thank you, kind sir. I'm so glad you found her. I've been looking all over for you.
Princess Jasmine: [whispering] What are you doing?
Aladdin: [whispering] Just play along.
Farouk: You, uh, know this girl?
Aladdin: Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She's a little crazy.
Farouk: She said she knew the sultan!
Aladdin: [gesturing to Abu] She thinks the monkey is the sultan.
Princess Jasmine: [bowing to Abu] Oh, wise sultan, how may I serve you?
[Abu mutters gibberish]
Aladdin: Tragic, isn't it? But, no harm done. Now, come along, sis. Time to go see the doctor.
Princess Jasmine: [to a camel] Oh, hello, doctor. How are you?
Aladdin: [gritting his teeth] No, no, no, not that one. Come on Sultan.
Aladdin: You're a prisoner?
Genie: It's all part and parcel, the whole genie gig.
[grows to a gigantic size]
Genie: Phenomenal cosmic powers!
[shrinks down inside the lamp]
Genie: Itty bitty living space!
Merchant: [holds up lamp] Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man, who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough.
Iago: Oh, boy. He's cracked. He's gone nuts. Jafar! Jafar, get a grip!
[Jafar grabs Iago by the throat]
Iago: Ack! Good grip.
Genie: I'm free. I'm free. Quick. Quick, wish for something outrageous. Say, "I I want the Nile." Wish for the Nile. Try that.
Aladdin: Uh, I wish for the Nile.
Genie: No way!
Genie: Oh, does that feels good!
Iago: [taking Genie's lamp] Boy, Jafar's gonna be happy to see you.
Iago: [as Jafar] Excellent work, Iago.
Iago: Ah, go on.
Iago: [as Jafar] No, really. On a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven.
Iago: Oh, Jafar, you're too kind. I'm embarrassed. I'm blushing.
Jafar: [laughs evilly]
Jafar: You little fool. You thought that you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth.
Iago: Squeeze him Jafar. Squeeze him like a.
Genie: [elbows Iago and knocks him into the air]
Jafar: [squeezes Aladdin]
Aladdin: [struggles to get free]
Jafar: Without the Genie, boy, you're nothing.
Aladdin: The Genie. The Genie! The Genie has more power than you'll ever have.
Aladdin: He gave you your power. He can take it away.
Genie: Al, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?
Aladdin: Face it, Jafar. You're still just second best.
Jafar: [slightly shocked] You're right. His power does exceed my own. But not for long.
[last lines after credits]
Genie: You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!
Genie: So what'll it be, master?
Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?
Genie: [imitating William F. Buckley] Uh, ah, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos. Ah, a couple of quid pro quo.
Genie: [normally] Uh, rule #1, I can't kill anybody.
[cuts his head off]
Genie: So don't ask. Uh, rule #2!
[fixes his head]
Genie: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else.
Genie: [turns into a pair of lips and kisses Aladdin]
Genie: You little punim there. Rule #3!
[turns into a slimy Genie, and imitating Peter Lorre]
Genie: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!
Genie: [he returns to normal]
Genie: Other than that, you got it!
Sultan: Prince Ali Ababwa! Of course! I'm delighted to meet you.
[he shakes Aladdin's hand]
Sultan: This is my royal vizier, Jafar. He's delighted, too.
Jafar: [very dryly] Ecstatic.
Genie: [as Jack Nicholson] All right, sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter. Do you got it?
Genie: [pointing to each word on a blackboard] Tell her the truth!
Genie: Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.
Genie: [turns into a cheerleader] Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake! Stick that sword into that snake!
Jafar: You stay out of this!
Genie: [Weakly] Jafar, Jafar, he's our man; if he can't do it, great!
Merchant: Look at this! Yes! Heh, heh. Combination hookah and coffee maker, also makes julienne fries. Will not break!
[taps it on table]
Merchant: Will not.
[it falls apart]
Merchant: It broke!
Aladdin: Genie, I wish for your freedom.
Genie: One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I. What?
Aladdin: [He holds the lamp up to Genie] Genie, you're free!
Genie: Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her.
Genie: She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature.
[Aladdin has nearly drowned, and his unconscious body falls and rubs on the lamp]
Genie: [appearing as a guy in a bathtub] Never fails! You get in the bathtub, and there's a rub at the lamp.
[squeaks rubber duckie]
Genie: Al? Al! Kid! Snap out of it! Oh, you can't cheat on this one. I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say, "Genie, I want you to save my life," got it? Okay!
Genie: C'mon, Aladdin!
[Aladdin's head droops]
Genie: I'll take that as a yes.
[he changes into a submarine and pulls Aladdin out of the sea]
Genie: Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.
[Genie and Carpet are playing chess]
Genie: So, move.
[Carpet makes a move]
Genie: Hey! That's a good move.
[as Rodney Dangerfield]
Genie: I can't believe it. I'm losing to a rug.
[Abu is swinging a stolen sword at the guards]
Guard: [frightened] He's got a sword!
Razoul: [to his subordinates] You idiots.
Razoul: We've all got swords!
Genie: But oh, to be free. Not to have to go "Poof! What do you need, "Poof! What do you need, Poof! What do you need?". To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world. But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, that's never gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.
[leaving to travel the world]
Genie: I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am; I'm free hee!
Cave of Wonders: Who disturbs my slumber?
Aladdin: Wow. The palace looks pretty amazing, huh?
Princess Jasmine: [disappointed] Oh, it's wonderful.
Aladdin: I wonder what it'd be like to live there, and have servants, and valets.
Princess Jasmine: Oh, sure. People who tell you where to go and how to dress.
Aladdin: That's better than here. You're always scraping for food and ducking the guards.
Princess Jasmine: You're not free to make your own choices.
Aladdin: Sometimes you feel so.
Princess Jasmine: You're just.
Princess Jasmine: Please, try to understand. I've never done a thing on my own. I've never had any real friends.
Princess Jasmine: Except you, Rajah.
[Rajah sighs happily]
Princess Jasmine: I've never even been outside the palace walls.
Sultan: But, Jasmine, you're a princess.
Princess Jasmine: Then maybe I don't wanna be a princess anymore.
Sultan: [exasperated] Oh! I I.
Sultan: Allah forbid you should have any daughters!
[Rajah grunts questioningly]
Genie: [as tailor] First, that fez and vest combo is much too third century. These patches. What are we trying to say? Beggar? No. Let's work with me here.
[after taking measurements, turns Aladdin's rags into fine clothes]
Genie: Ooh, I like it! Muy macho!
Merchant: Welcome to Agrabah. City of mystery, of enchantment. And the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan! On sale today! Come on down.
Genie: I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name?
Aladdin: Uh Aladdin.
Genie: Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie?
[turns into a Scotsman]
Genie: It sounds like, "Here, boy!"
Genie: C'mon, Laddie!
[turns into a dog]
Aladdin: I must've hit my head harder than I thought.
Genie: Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?
Iago: [coughs up sand after The Cave of Wonders swallows Gazeem whole] I can't believe it. I just don't believe it.
[whacks some sand out of his ears]
Iago: We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp. Just forget it Look at this. Look at this. I'm so ticked off that I'm molting.
Iago: Patience Iago, patience. Gazeem was obviously less than worthy.
Iago: Oh, there's a big surprise! That's an incredible. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from that surprise!
Iago: What are we gonna do? We got a big problem here. A big.
[grunts as Jafar grabs Iago's beak to shut him up]
Jafar: [calmly releases Iago's beak from his hand and Iago rubs his beak] Yes. Only one may enter. I must find this one. This diamond in the rough.
Jafar: Just where did you say you were from?
Aladdin: Oh, uh uh, much farther than you've traveled, I'm sure.
Jafar: Try me.
Genie: Your line is "I'm going to free the Genie." Anytime!
Merchant: [holding up a box] Oh! Look at this. I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. Pbbtt! Ah, still good.
Merchant: [chuckles] Wait don't go.
Genie: [Sniffs tearfully] No matter what anyone else says, you'll always be a prince to me.
Sultan: That's right. You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's the law that's the problem.
Princess Jasmine: Father?
Sultan: Well, am I sultan, or am I sultan? From this day forth, the princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy!
Princess Jasmine: Him! I choose I choose you, Aladdin.
Aladdin: [chuckles] Call me Al.
Genie: [after explaining to Aladdin that he can grant any wish his heart desires] You ain't never had a friend like me!
Aladdin: Princess Jasmine, you're very.
Genie: Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious! Punctual!
Princess Jasmine: Punctual?
Aladdin: Uh, beautiful!
Genie: Nice recovery.
Aladdin: Wish fulfillment?
Genie: Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's all. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds.
Princess Jasmine: Father, I choose Prince Ali!
Jafar: Prince Ali left!
[shows Aladdin standing in the doorway to the balcony]
Aladdin: Better check your crystal ball again, Jafar!
Princess Jasmine: Prince Ali!
Iago: How in the heck did? Uh, awk!
Jafar: Get your blasted beak out of my face!
Iago: Oh, shut up, you moron!
Jafar: Don't tell me to shut up!
Genie: Allow me. Ten thousand years in the Cave of Wonders outta chill him out!
[flicks them into the distance]
Jafar: You're speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.
Sultan: Jafar, you vile betrayer!
Iago: That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you!
Princess Jasmine: [to Jafar] At least some good will come of my being forced to marry. When I am Queen, I will have the power to get rid of you.
Sultan: Well, now. That's nice. All settled then. Now, Jasmine, getting back to this suitor business. Jasmine? Jasmine!
[the Sultan notices that Jasmine is running out of the room, and runs after her]
Jafar: [scowls in their direction] If only I had gotten that lamp!
Iago: [mocking Jasmine] "I will have the power to get rid of you." Dahhh! To think we gotta keep kissing up to that chump, and his chump daughter, for the rest of our lives.
Jafar: No, Iago. Only until she finds a chump husband. Then she'll have us banished. Or beheaded.
Iago: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! Jafar, what if you were the chump husband?
Iago: Okay, okay. You marry the princess, all right? And and, uh, you. Then you become the sultan!
Jafar: Marry the shrew. I become sultan. The idea has merit.
Iago: Yes, merit. Yes! And then, we drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff.
[he dives off Jafar's staff headfirst, then hits the ground]
Iago: "Yah. Ker-splat!"
Jafar: [laughs] I love the way your foul little mind works!
[both laugh evilly]
Genie: Oh, Al. I'm getting kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything.
[Iago is disguised as a flamingo. He turns around and finds a real flamingo smiling in his face]
Iago: You got a problem
[he his the flamingo with one of his stilts]
Iago: [laughs triumphantly and steals Genie's lamp]
[Princess Jasmine is in disguise, and hanging out with Aladdin; the guards capture him]
Princess Jasmine: Let him go.
Razoul: [laughs] Well, looky here, men. A street mouse.
[throws her down]
Princess Jasmine: Unhand him!
[pulls off the hood of her cloak]
Princess Jasmine: By order of the princess.
Razoul: [everyone falls silent and bows] Princess Jasmine.
Aladdin: The princess?
Abu the Monkey: [peaks out from a jar] The princess?
Razoul: What are you doing outside the palace? And with this street rat?
Princess Jasmine: That's not your concern. Do as I command. Release him.
Razoul: Well, I would, princess, except my orders come from Jafar. You'll have to take it up with him.
Princess Jasmine: Believe me, I will.
Genie: What would you wish of me?
[as Arnold Schwarzenegger]
Genie: The ever impressive...
[as if trapped in a box]
Genie: ... the long-contained...
[as SeÒor Wences]
Genie: ... the often immitated, but never...
Genie: ... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... Genie of the Lamp!
[as Ed Sullivan]
Genie: Right here, direct from the lamp. Right here for your very much wish-fulfillment. Thank you.
Jafar: [hypnotizing the Sultan with his snake staff] You will order the Princess to marry me.
Sultan: [hypnotized] I will order the Princess to.
[suddenly breaks out of the trance]
Sultan: But you're so old!
Jafar: [shoving his staff into the Sultan's face again] The Princess will marry me!
Aladdin: Wait wait a minute. I'm your master?
Genie: [gives Aladdin a mortar cap and diploma] That's right! He can be taught!
Aladdin: [picking up the lamp] This is it? This is what we came all the way down here to.
[sees Abu taking a ruby]
Aladdin: Abu! No!
Cave of Wonders: Infidels!
Abu the Monkey: Uh-Oh.
Cave of Wonders: You have touched the forbidden treasure! Now you will never again see the light of day!
Prince Achmed: You are a worthless street rat. You were born a street rat, you'll die a street rat, and only your fleas will mourn you!
[the palace gates slam in front of Aladdin, then he gazes up]
Aladdin: I'm not worthless! And I don't have fleas!
Aladdin: [Aladdin scratches his head]
Aladdin: [sadly] Come on Abu let's go home.
Genie: I can't help you. I work for Senor Psychopath now!
Merchant: Ahh! Salam and good evening to you worthy friend. Please, please come closer.
[camera hits him in the face]
Merchant: Too close! A little too close.
[camera backs up]
Merchant: There! Welcome to Agrabah!
Aladdin: [singing] Let's not be too hasty!
Heavyset Harlem: [scoops Aladdin up in her arms and sings] Still I think he's rather tasty!
Aladdin: So, three wishes. I want them to be good. What would you wish for?
Genie: Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in my case. Ah, forget it.
Genie: No, I can't. I.
Aladdin: Come on, tell me.
Genie: [sigh] Freedom.
[Abu goes crazy and leaps onto Aladdin's head as they escape from the destructing Cave of Wonders]
Aladdin: Abu! Abu, this is no time to panic!
[sees that they're about to hit a wall]
Aladdin: Start panicking!
Aladdin: [singing] Riffraff. Street Rat. I don't buy that! If only they'd look closer. Would they see a poor boy? No, sirree! They'd find out there's so much more to me!
Aladdin: [sighs, no longer singing] Someday, Abu, things are gonna change. We'll be rich, live in a palace, and never have any problems at all.
Jafar: Trust me, my pungent friend. You'll get what's coming to you.
Iago: What's coming to you. Awk!
Sultan: Jasmine? Jasmine? Jasmine?
[suddenly Rajah rears up in front of the Sultan with a rag in his mouth]
Sultan: Confound it, Rajah!
Sultan: [takes rag out of mouth and Rajah growls angrily]
Sultan: So! This is why Prince Achmed stormed out?
Princess Jasmine: Oh, Father Rajah was just playing with him. Weren't you, Rajah? You were just playing with that over dressed, self absorbed Prince Achmed, weren't you?
Princess Jasmine: [Jasmine and Rajah chuckle]
Sultan: [gives them a dirty look]
Princess Jasmine: [They stop laughing and Jasmine clears her throat]
Princess Jasmine: It's all so magical.
Princess Jasmine: It's a shame Abu had to miss this.
Aladdin: Nah. He hates fireworks, and he really doesn't like flying either. That is, um. Oh, no.
Princess Jasmine: [takes off Aladdin's turban] You are the boy from the market place. I knew it! Why did you lie to me?
Aladdin: Jasmine, I'm sorry!
Princess Jasmine: Did you think I was stupid?
Princess Jasmine: Did you think I wouldn't find out?
Aladdin: No! I mean, I was hoping you wouldn't. That's not what I meant.
Princess Jasmine: Who are you? Tell me the truth.
Aladdin: The truth? The truth? The truth is I sometimes pass myself off as a commoner to escape the pressures of palace life. But I really am a prince.
Princess Jasmine: Why didn't you tell me?
Aladdin: Well, a prince walking around the marketplace? Sounds a little strange, doesn't it?
Princess Jasmine: Not that strange.
Aladdin: [hanging from the entrance of the Cave of Wonders] Help me out!
Jafar: Throw me the lamp!
Aladdin: I can't hold on! Give me your hand!
Jafar: First give me the lamp!
[Aladdin draws the lamp and Jafar reaches down to snatch it from him]
Jafar: [laughs triumphantly] Yes! At last!
[Grabs Aladdin's wrist]
Aladdin: What are you doing?
Jafar: Giving you your reward.
[pulls out a dagger]
Jafar: Your eternal reward!
[Jafar is about to stab Aladdin when Abu bites him, forcing him to drop the dagger; He throws Abu and Aladdin in just as the Cave closes]
Jafar: [chuckles] It's mine!
[tears way his beard]
Jafar: It's all mine!
[searches for the lamp, but can't find it]
Jafar: I. Where is it? No. No!
Jafar: I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince Abubu.
Iago: We gotta get outta here! We gotta get out! I gotta start packing, Your Highness! Only essentials, we gotta travel light. I'll bring the guns, the weapons, the knives.
[suddenly comes across a photo of himself and Jafar as he is rummaging through his posessions]
Iago: And uh, how about this picture? I don't know, I think I'm making a weird face in it.
Sultan: It's this suitor business. Jasmine refuses to choose a husband. I'm at my wits end.
Iago: Awk! Wits end.
Sultan: Uh eh. Oh.
[laughs and pulls out a cracker]
Sultan: Have a cracker, Pretty Polly.
Iago: [gasps and shakes his head no. Sultan stuffs the cracker into Iago's mouth]
Jafar: [laughs as Iago grunts angrily] Pretty Polly. Your Majesty certainly has a way with dumb animals.
Iago: [growls angrily and gives Jafar a dirty look]
Jafar: [clears his throat] Now then perhaps I can devise a solution to this thorny problem.
Sultan: If anyone can help it's you.
Aladdin: Hey, can you make me a prince?
Genie: [opening Royal Recipes book] Let's see here. Chicken à la king?
Genie: Nope. Alaskan king crab.
[pulls out Sebastian clamped to his finger. "Under the Sea" plays as Genie flicks him off of his finger]
Genie: Ow. I hate it when they do that. Caesar salad.
[arm with the knife raised from the book trying to kill him]
Genie: Ah! Et tu, Brute? No. Aha. "To make a prince."
Aladdin: Jasmine, I'm sorry I lied to you about being a prince.
Princess Jasmine: I know why you did.
Aladdin: Well I guess this is goodbye.
Princess Jasmine: Oh that stupid law. This isn't fair. I love you.
Genie: [Wipes away a tear from his eyes]
Genie: Al, no problem. You've still got one wish left. Just say the word, and you're a prince again.
Aladdin: But Genie, what about your freedom?
Genie: Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love. Al, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked.
Aladdin: Jasmine, I do love you, but I've got to stop pretending to be something I'm not.
Princess Jasmine: I understand.
Aladdin: They wanna make me Sultan. No, they want to make Prince Ali Sultan. Without you, I'm just Aladdin.
Genie: Al, you won.
Aladdin: Because of you. The only reason anyone thinks I'm worth anything is because of you. What if they find out I'm not really a prince? What if Jasmine finds out? I'd lose her. Genie, I can't keep this up on my own. I I can't wish you free.
Genie: Fine, I understand.
[shrinking into his lamp]
Genie: After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out.
Genie: Now, if you'll excuse me master.
Genie: [disappears into his lamp resentfully]
Jafar: [disguised as prisoner] You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you? Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
[smiles showing his hideous teeth]
Iago: Look at this. I'm so ticked off that I'm molting.
Iago: [Iago is powering a mystic device by foot power]
Iago: With all due respect, your rottenness, couldn't we just wait for a real storm?
Jafar: Save your breath, Iago. Faster!
[he inserts the Sultan's ring into the top of the hourglass]
Iago: Yes, oh mighty evil one!
Iago: [he pedals the device faster]
Princess Jasmine: [hums "A Whole New World" as she happily brushes her hair]
Sultan: [hypnotized] Jasmine.
Princess Jasmine: Oh Father I just had the most wonderful time. I'm so happy.
Sultan: [hypnotized] You should be Jasmine. I have chosen a husband for you.
Princess Jasmine: What?
Sultan: [hypnotized] You will wed Jafar.
[the other door opens and reveals Jafar and Iago]
Princess Jasmine: [gasps]
Jafar: You are late.
Gazeem: A thousand apologies, Oh Patient One.
Aladdin: Are you afraid to fight me yourself, you cowardly snake?
Jafar: A snake, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how snake like I can be!
Jafar: [he changes into one, and his voice changes with it, too]
Razoul: [to Aladdin] We just keep running into each other, don't we, street rat?
Guard: You won't get away so easy!
Aladdin: You think that was easy?
Iago: I can't take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers. Bam! Whack!
Jafar: Calm yourself, Iago.
Iago: And then I'd grab him around the head. Whack, whack!
Jafar: Soon I will be sultan, not that addlepated twit.
Iago: And then I stuff the crackers down his throat. Ha ha.
[worried about Jasmine's refusal to choose a suitor]
Sultan: I don't know where she gets it from. Her mother wasn't nearly so picky.
Jafar: Sire, I must intercede on Jasmine's behalf. This boy is no different than the others. What makes him think he is worthy of the princess?
Aladdin: Your Majesty, I am Prince Ali Ababwa. Just let her meet me. I will win your daughter.
Princess Jasmine: How dare you? All of you! Standing around deciding my future? I am not a prize to be won!
Aladdin: [seeing Achmed ride toward the palace] Look at that, Abu. It's not everyday you see a horse with two rear ends.
Genie: [on Carpet] In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet!
[zapping Carpet out from the cave]
Genie: We're out of here!
Iago: Ooh, nice shot, Jafa...
Abu the Monkey: [whacks him over the head]
Iago: [passes out]
[Prince Achmed is storming out of the Palace after being rejected by Princess Jasmine]
Prince Achmed: Oh, I've never been so insulted!
Sultan: Achmed, you're you're not leaving so soon, are you?
Prince Achmed: [walks away, pants at the butt area are ripped off, revealing spotted underwear] Good luck marrying her off!
Genie: Do you mind if I kiss the monkey?
[kisses Abu's head then coughs up small ball of fur]
Genie: Oh! Hairball.
Genie: [Jafar releases Genie] You know, Al, I'm getting really.
Genie: I don't think you're him.
[reading a script]
Genie: Tonight the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark, and sinister ugly man.
Jafar: I am you're master now!
[crushes the Genie with his foot]
Genie: [muffled] I was afraid of that.
Jafar: Genie, grant me my first wish. I wish to rule on high as Sultan!
Jafar: [Aladdin has tricked Jafar into wishing to be a more powerful genie than Genie]
Jafar: The universe is mine to command! To control!
Aladdin: Not so fast, Jafar! Aren't you forgetting something?
Aladdin: You want to be a genie? You got it!
Jafar: [cufflinks form on Jafar's wrists]
Aladdin: And everything that goes with it!
Aladdin: [Aladdin shows the black genie lamp that sucks Jafar in]
Jafar: No! No!
Iago: I'm getting out of here!
[Iago tries to flee, but Jafar grabs him]
Aladdin: Phenomenal cosmic powers.
Iago: Come on you're the genie. I don't want.
Aladdin: Itty bitty living space.
Genie: Al, you little genius you.
Iago: Ladies and gentlemen, a warm Agrabah welcome for Sorcerer Jafar!
Jafar: Now where were we? Ah, yes abject humiliation!
[He zaps Jasmine and Sultan with his staff, and they both bow to him. Rajah comes running at him]
Jafar: Down, boy!
[He zaps Rajah, and the tiger turns into a kitten. Rajah meows]
Jafar: Oh princess
[lifts Jasmine's chin with his staff]
Jafar: there's someone I'm dying to introduce you to.
Aladdin: [Flying towards him on Carpet] Jafar! Get your hands off her!
Jafar: [zaps Aladdin, Carpet flies away. Singing] Prince Ali, yes, it is he, but not as you know him. Read my lips and come to grips with reality.
Jafar: Yes, meet a blast from your past. Whose lies were too good to last! Say hello to your precious Prince Ali!
[zaps Ali back to Aladdin as he says it]
Iago: [mockingly] Or should we say Aladdin?
Princess Jasmine: [shocked gasp] Ali?
Aladdin: Jasmine, I tried to tell you. I just.
Jafar: [still singing] So Ali turns out to be merely Aladdin.
Jafar: Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me, his personality flaws, give me adequate cause,
[sends Aladdin and Abu in a pillar, Carpet flies in after them]
Jafar: to send him packing on a one way trip so his prospects take a terminal dip, his assets frozen, the venue chosen, is the ends of the earth.
Jafar: [sends the pillar in the air]
Jafar: Whoopee! So long!
Iago: Goodbye. See ya.
Jafar: [sings] Ex-Prince Ali!
Aladdin: Abu? Abu! Oh, this is all my fault. I should have freed the Genie when I had the chance.
Aladdin: Abu! Are you okay?
Abu the Monkey: [shivers] Uh-huh.
Aladdin: I'm sorry, Abu. I made a mess of everything, somehow. I gotta go back and set things right. Yeah! All right! Now, back to Agrabah! Let's go!