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3 Ninjas (1992) Poster

(1992)

Quotes

Hugo Snyder: Am I a nice guy or what?

Colt: You're a geek.

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Fester: Where are those little boogers? If I was a little booger, where would I be? Mom and Dad's room!

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Fester: [aiming gun at clerk] Open up the cash register. That's right, dude, us three bone heads are sticking you up. Open up that register before I have to get nasty.

[Pager goes off]

Fester: Excuse me, sir, could I please use your telephone?

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Colt: I'm Colt because I'm fast, he's Rocky because he's solid and he's Tum-Tum because he'll eat anything.

Tum Tum: I won't eat dog poop.

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Fester: [while eating the pizza they stole] Y'know, we should save some of this for the kids we're nabbing.

Hammer: They're probably pretty nice kids.

Colt: [scene cuts] Where are all the weapons? The sling-shot, the knife throwers?

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Fester: Marcus, score us some nacho chips and some radical salsa.

Marcus: Dude!

Fester: None of that green stuff.

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Marcus: Radical!

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Hammer: Dude!

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[Grandpa is giving the boys names]

Tum Tum: Can I be Monster Destroyer? Or how about Super Killer?

Colt: How about Super Dork?

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Fester: Hey dude, what time does school get out?

Hammer: I don't know. I never stayed to the end.

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Fester: This kidnapping is so much better than armed robbery.

Hammer: Yeah I never got a pizza on a robbery.

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Fester: Okay, none of you little dudes move until those two dudes get back!

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Rocky: We should run.

Tum Tum: We should hide.

Colt: We should kick their butts!

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Fester: Okay, Marcia Brady or Laurie Partridge?

Hammer: Rather do Laurie.

Fester: Cool. Okay, Cheryl Ladd or Farrah Fawcett?

Hammer: Tanya Roberts, dude.

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Fester: Alright. Operation: Kick Butt is about to commence. Synchronize watches.

Hammer: What time is it?

Fester: I dunno, anybody got a watch?

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Fester: Okay little dude, we know you're in here somewhere. We don't wanna hurt you, we just wanna kidnap you.

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Fester: I say we kill those little boogers!

Hammer: But like, I thought we wanted them alive.

Fester: I want *us* alive, dude!

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Grandpa: Remember, never fight unless you're sure you can win.

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Hugo Snyder: God, I love being a bad guy.

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Grandpa: I hate pizza.

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Fester: Seems that providence has shined her light upon us boys. It's pizza time.

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Grandpa: Two lessons you have to learn from this battle. Lesson 1, never attack unless you're gonna win?

Colt: And lesson two?

Grandpa: Don't climb a tree that's full of thorns. Uh!

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Colt: Oh no, robbers!

Hammer: Robbers? I thought we were kidnappers.

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Fester: We got those little dudes now, Dudes.

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Rocky: Grandpa is a Ninja. He will come.

Tum Tum: I don't care who he is as long as he brings us something to eat.

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Rocky: Hey, what's the matter with us? Remember what Grandpa taught us? Everything around us can be our friend. Be friendly to your environment.

Colt: Oh sure, Rocky, we gonna go make the friendly door open?

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Brown: Festin, don't screw this up or we'll have to kill ya.

Fester: Bummer.

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Tum Tum: We almost had you!

Grandpa: Had me? Oh Michael.

Tum Tum: What?

Grandpa: If I hadn't have stopped the car, you would've been called 'Pancake' by now.

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Jessica Douglas: If you think being a Ninja's hard work, try being a mom.

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Store Owner: Hey amigos, this is no Library you buy or you go.

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Grandpa: Colt, what is a ninja?

Colt: A ninja is one who can use everything around him to trick his enemies. He and fast and he is friendly to his environment.

Rocky: A ninja is honest and good. His mind, body and spirit are one. He has self-control. He has discipline.

Tum Tum: A ninja loves nature, uh, 'cause he is part of nature. A ninja never fights a battle if he cannot win.

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Babysitter: Who is it?

Fester: Pizza, ma'am.

Babysitter: We didn't order any pizza!

Fester: Uh, some kids called. Yeah, and if you don't pay, we'll, uh, we'll T.P. your house.

The Dudes: [shove pizza in Babysitter's face] Surprise!

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Fester: First we feast. Then we Felony!

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Tum TumColt: Ro-cky LOVES Em-il-y!

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Hugo Snyder: They're just kids. KIDS! I want them found NOW! Or I'll tear out your liver!

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Fester: Well, my dangerous buds, tomorrow is another day. And those little dudes are ours. Slurpee?

Hammer: Radical!

Fester: Slurpee?

Marcus: Dude!

Fester: We're outta here.

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Tum Tum: [Emily nearly drinks a spiked soda] No, no, no, that's diarrhea.

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Grandpa: Alright, Samuel!

Rocky: Sir!

Grandpa: From this day forth until forever, you will be known as Rocky. Because you are strong, solid, and cool as granite rock!

Rocky: [Receives mask] Awesome! Yeah!

Grandpa: Ahh, Jeffrey. Fast and free, spirit of the young wild horse; you shall be known as Colt!

Colt: Colt? That's cool.

Tum Tum: What about me? Can I be Monster Destroyer? Or how about Super Killer?

Colt: How about Super Dork?

Tum Tum: Shut up, spazz!

Grandpa: Ah, little one. Since your energy begins and ends with your tummy; you shall be known as Tum Tum!

Tum Tum: Tum Tum!

[Both Tum Tum and Grandpa laugh]

Colt: I can't wait 'till we show these to dad!

Rocky: He'll hate 'em.

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Colt: Hold it! Before Phase 2, I got a little surprise! takes out a bottle of Lax-Go laxative

Tum Tum: What's that stuff?

Colt: Takes cap off bottle: Remember last year when you were sick and couldn't take a dump for 3 days?

Tum Tum: Yeah...

Colt: This is the stuff that makes you have to go.

Colt: Instant diarrhea.

Tum Tum: You're sick.

Colt: Not as sick as they're gonna be. stirs spiked Coke with his finger.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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