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(1992–1993)

Quotes

[the gang is playing with a Ouija Board]

Dorfman: Go ahead, Beth, ask it anything.

Beth: Okay.

[pause]

Beth: Why do guys say they're gonna call, and so you give them your number, and you wait by the phone, and do they call? No!

Dorfman: Ask and answer. Okay!

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Ricky Wilder: [on the phone with a costume shop clerk] Do you have any mouse costumes?

[pause]

Ricky Wilder: Yes, I'm aware that today is Halloween and that people purchased their costumes months in advance - I've always admired people like that.

[pause]

Ricky Wilder: But still no mice? What costumes do you have?

[pause]

Ricky Wilder: That's the ONLY ONE LEFT?

[pause]

Ricky Wilder: I don't think so, not for an eight-year-old girl. But, out of curiosity, how much is the Clarence Thomas outfit?

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[Beth enters Dex's garage angrily. Dex still has his shirt off]

Dexter: Let me guess, friend of Brody's?

Beth: That's right. So you can put your pecs away 'coz it's not gonna work with me.

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[Ricky is dreaming that she is in labor. The doctor pulls out Brody from her womb]

Ricky Wilder: Brody!

Doctor: That's a nice name!

Brody Wilder: Hey, Rick, can I have the keys to your car?

Ricky Wilder: In my pur...

[goes into labor once more]

Doctor: There's another one. Wait, there's something blocking the way.

[pulls out a skateboard, then pulls out Dorfman]

Dorfman: Hi, doc! Hey, what happened to the bag of chips I had?

Ricky Wilder: Dorfman!

Doctor: Hang on, there's one more.

[pulls out Melissa]

Melissa Wilder: Fine. Give birth to me, but you are not my mother.

[the doctor pulls out Danielle]

Danielle: Nice shoes! Can I have them?

[the doctor pulls out Beth]

Beth: Ricky, there's a hole in the Ozone Layer, and you're bringing babies into this world?

[shakes her head disapprovingly]

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Brody Wilder: Date tonight, Rick. Need a way place to take her to.

Ricky Wilder: Mario's.

Brody Wilder: Great. Need a way to pay for it.

Ricky Wilder: Job.

Brody Wilder: Seriously, Rick. Can I borrow thirty dollars?

Ricky Wilder: Thirty dollars? Brody, that's a lot of money. Why don't you just do what I did when I was your age?

[thinks]

Ricky Wilder: Here, take forty.

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Beth: Honestly, Brody, you're taking this fight thing way out of proportion.

Brody Wilder: Why not tell that to Danielle?

Beth: What?

Brody Wilder: Oh, that's right, Beth. Act surprised. I know she and Dex have a date tonight. I can't believe you guys.

[exit]

Beth: [sits down on the couch with Dorfman] I feel terrible.

Dorfman: Me too.

Beth: I thought Dex wanted me.

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Brody Wilder: Any luck finding your cat, Beth?

Beth: No. Dorfman put an ad in the paper, but we can't find it.

Dorfman: [points at an ad in the newspaper] Here it is. Right under "Love Warrior seeks nonsmoking dentist."

Beth: You put it in the Personals?

Dorfman: Yeah. Who reads the Lost and Found?

Danielle: [reads] "Lost and Lonely, SWF?"

Dorfman: Spayed White Feline.

Danielle: [reads] "Lost and Lonely, SWF, Cute and cuddly, neatly trimmed nails, seeks master...?"

Beth: Dorfman, what are you doing to me? I'm gonna get a bunch of men calling and wanting to meet me.

[pauses to think]

Beth: I'm gonna go check my messages.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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