Camp Wilder (1992–1993)
[the gang is playing with a Ouija Board]
Dorfman: Go ahead, Beth, ask it anything.
Beth: Why do guys say they're gonna call, and so you give them your number, and you wait by the phone, and do they call? No!
Dorfman: Ask and answer. Okay!
Ricky Wilder: [on the phone with a costume shop clerk] Do you have any mouse costumes?
Ricky Wilder: Yes, I'm aware that today is Halloween and that people purchased their costumes months in advance - I've always admired people like that.
Ricky Wilder: But still no mice? What costumes do you have?
Ricky Wilder: That's the ONLY ONE LEFT?
Ricky Wilder: I don't think so, not for an eight-year-old girl. But, out of curiosity, how much is the Clarence Thomas outfit?
[Beth enters Dex's garage angrily. Dex still has his shirt off]
Dexter: Let me guess, friend of Brody's?
Beth: That's right. So you can put your pecs away 'coz it's not gonna work with me.
[Ricky is dreaming that she is in labor. The doctor pulls out Brody from her womb]
Ricky Wilder: Brody!
Doctor: That's a nice name!
Brody Wilder: Hey, Rick, can I have the keys to your car?
Ricky Wilder: In my pur...
[goes into labor once more]
Doctor: There's another one. Wait, there's something blocking the way.
[pulls out a skateboard, then pulls out Dorfman]
Dorfman: Hi, doc! Hey, what happened to the bag of chips I had?
Ricky Wilder: Dorfman!
Doctor: Hang on, there's one more.
[pulls out Melissa]
Melissa Wilder: Fine. Give birth to me, but you are not my mother.
[the doctor pulls out Danielle]
Danielle: Nice shoes! Can I have them?
[the doctor pulls out Beth]
Beth: Ricky, there's a hole in the Ozone Layer, and you're bringing babies into this world?
[shakes her head disapprovingly]
Brody Wilder: Date tonight, Rick. Need a way place to take her to.
Ricky Wilder: Mario's.
Brody Wilder: Great. Need a way to pay for it.
Ricky Wilder: Job.
Brody Wilder: Seriously, Rick. Can I borrow thirty dollars?
Ricky Wilder: Thirty dollars? Brody, that's a lot of money. Why don't you just do what I did when I was your age?
Ricky Wilder: Here, take forty.
Beth: Honestly, Brody, you're taking this fight thing way out of proportion.
Brody Wilder: Why not tell that to Danielle?
Brody Wilder: Oh, that's right, Beth. Act surprised. I know she and Dex have a date tonight. I can't believe you guys.
Beth: [sits down on the couch with Dorfman] I feel terrible.
Dorfman: Me too.
Beth: I thought Dex wanted me.
Brody Wilder: Any luck finding your cat, Beth?
Beth: No. Dorfman put an ad in the paper, but we can't find it.
Dorfman: [points at an ad in the newspaper] Here it is. Right under "Love Warrior seeks nonsmoking dentist."
Beth: You put it in the Personals?
Dorfman: Yeah. Who reads the Lost and Found?
Danielle: [reads] "Lost and Lonely, SWF?"
Dorfman: Spayed White Feline.
Danielle: [reads] "Lost and Lonely, SWF, Cute and cuddly, neatly trimmed nails, seeks master...?"
Beth: Dorfman, what are you doing to me? I'm gonna get a bunch of men calling and wanting to meet me.
[pauses to think]
Beth: I'm gonna go check my messages.