J.D.: Well, I've always believed that if done properly, armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
J.D.: So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.
Thelma: Well, Daryl, that's my husband.
Thelma: Yeah, he says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.
Louise: He's got a lot to be proud of.
Thelma: Louise and him don't get along.
Louise: That's putting it mildly.
Thelma: She thinks he's a pig.
Louise: I KNOW he's a pig.
Thelma: I don't ever remember feeling this awake.
Thelma: I've had it up to my ass with sedate.
Max: If she calls, just be gentle, you know? Like you're really happy to hear from her. Like you miss her. Women love that shit.
Louise: I'm in deep shit; Deep Shit, Arkansas.
Thelma: Hey Louise, better slow down, I'll just die if we get caught over a speeding ticket. Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?
Louise Sawyer: No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and the SCENE OF OUR LAST GOD DAMNED CRIME!
[Thelma laughs and screams]
Thelma: Oh man! You wouldn'ta believed it, it was like I was doing it all my life, nobody woulda believed it.
Louise Sawyer: Think you found your calling?
Thelma: May-be... may-be.
[gets up in her seat]
Thelma: The call of the wild!
Louise Sawyer: Besides, what are we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that, there's no such thing as justifiable robbery.
Thelma: Alright, Louise... where'd you get this
Louise Sawyer: Stole it.
Max: You know, the one thing I can't figure out are these girls real smart or real real lucky?
Hal Slocumb: Don't matter. Brains'll only get you so far and luck always runs out.
Thelma: You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya?
J.D.: Well I may be an outlaw, darlin', but you're the one stealing my heart.
Louise Sawyer: In the future, when a woman is crying like that, she isn't having any fun.
Louise: [in the parking lot outside the bar where Harlan is attempting to rape Thelma] Get away from her you fuckin' asshole or I'm gonna splatter your ugly face all over this nice car.
Harlan: [Getting off of Thelma] Easy, we're just having a little fun.
Louise: Sounds like you got a real fucked up idea of fun. Turn around. In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!
Harlan: Bitch! I shoulda gone ahead and fucked her!
Louise: Why did you say?
Harlan: I said suck my cock.
Louise: [Louise shoots him]
[soft but angry voice]
Louise: You watch your mouth!
Louise Sawyer: You shoot off a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas ain't the place you want to get caught.
Louise Sawyer: Is he your husband or your father?
Louise Sawyer: [talking about their cabin vacation in the mountains later in the day] You mean you haven't asked him yet? Thelma, for Christ's sake. Thelma, is he your husband, or your father. It's just two days for God's sake. Don't be a child. Tell him you're with me.
Louise Sawyer: Tell him I'm having a nervous breakdown.
Thelma Dickerson: That don't carry much weight with Darryl. He already thinks you're out of your mind.
Darryl: [answers phone again] Yep?
Louise Sawyer: Darryl, this is Louise. Lemme talk to the police.
Darryl: Hey Louise!
Louise Sawyer: [sour tone of voice] Hi. Lemme talk to the police.
Darryl: [so sarcastically, it exposes their cover] What? What are you talking about, there's no police here.
[Hal and Max both scoff and roll their eyes]
Louise Sawyer: You finally got laid properly, I'm so proud.
Thelma: You said you 'n' me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well darlin', look out 'cause my hair is comin' down!
Louise Sawyer: Certain words and phrases just keep drifting through my mind, things like, incarceration, cavity search, death by electrocution, life in prison, shit like that, know what I'm sayin', so do I want to come out alive...
Louise Sawyer: Where do you get off behaving that way with women you don't even know, huh? How'd you feel if someone did that to your mother or your sister or your wife?
Louise Sawyer: You've always been crazy, this is just the first chance you've had to express yourself.
Louise Sawyer: You get what you settle for.
Thelma: Driiive Louise! Drive! Drive the car! Go! Go! Go go go go go go!
Louise: What is it? What happened?
[Thelma holds up money]
Louise: You robbed the store? You robbed the whole damn store?
Thelma: Well we needed the money.
Louise: Oh shoot!
Thelma: It's not like I killed anybody for God's sake!
Thelma: I'm sorry, we needed the money, now we got it.
Louise: Oh shoot! Oh shoot, Thelma!
Thelma: Louise, get us to damn Mexico.
Louise: Allright, oh shoot! Oh shoot! Oh shoot!
Thelma: You could park a car in the shadow of his ass.
Thelma: But, umm, I don't know, you know, something's, like, crossed over in me and I can't go back, I mean I just couldn't live.
Louise Sawyer: I know, I know what you mean. Anyway, don't wanna end up on the damned Geraldo show.
Thelma Dickerson: [with a cliff in front of them and cops behind them]
Thelma Dickerson: OK, then listen; let's not get caught.
Louise Sawyer: What're you talkin' about?
Thelma Dickerson: Let's keep goin'!
Louise Sawyer: What d'you mean?
Thelma Dickerson: ...Go.
Thelma Dickerson: [Thelma nods ahead of them]
Louise Sawyer: You sure?
Thelma Dickerson: Yeah.
Max: [seeing Hal run toward the car] Hey!
Louise Sawyer: You let her go, you fuckin' asshole, or I'm gon' splatter your ugly face all over this nice car!
Louise: Now if you think he knows anything, hang up the phone, because the line will be tapped.
Thelma: [Dials the number]
Darryl: [Exchanges looks with police, then answers phone] Hello?
Thelma: Hey Darryl, it's me.
Darryl: [with forced cheer] Hey there, Thelma!
Thelma: [Hangs up] He knows.
Thelma: I know it's crazy, but I just feel like I got a knack for this shit.
Louise: I believe you do.
Louise: Well, we're not in the middle of nowhere, but we can see it from here.
[about the money]
Jimmy: It's a place called the Vagabond Motel. It's at 1921 North East 23rd. It's under "Peaches".
Jimmy: That's the code word. I miss you, Peaches.
Jimmy: Did I hear somebody say "Peaches"?
Louise: Oh my God. Jimmy.
Jimmy: That's the secret word. Show the lady what she's won, Don.
Jimmy: I want to give you something.
Louise: Give it to me here.
[Jimmy pulls out at engagement ring]
Jimmy: Why don't you try it on? You didn't see that one coming, did you?
Louise: Why Jimmy? Why now?
Jimmy: Try not to get too excited, Louise. I just flew across two states with that ring in my fuckin' hand, and uh... You know I hate to fly.
Louise: Remember when we first met?
Louise: What happened? Tell me what you said.
Jimmy: I said you had a nice pair of eyes.
Louise: And what did I say? You remember?
Jimmy: Yeah, you shut 'em. Asked me if I knew what color they were?
Louise: And what's you say?
Jimmy: I didn't know.
Louise: [She covers his eyes] Jimmy, what color are my eyes?
Jimmy: They're brown.
Louise Sawyer: Decaf or regular?
Girl in diner: Uh, regular, please.
Louise Sawyer: You girls are kinda young to be smokin', dontcha think?
[girls roll their eyes]
Louise Sawyer: Ruins your sex drive.
[cut to Louise lighting up in the back room]
State Trooper: [Sobbing] Please! I have a wife and kids.
Thelma: Oh really, well, you're lucky. You be sweet to them, especially your wife. My husband wasn't sweet to me. Look how I turned out.
Thelma: Louise, no matter what happens, I'm glad I came with you.
Thelma: Louise, shoot the radio
Louise: [she fires at the radio]
Thelma: The *police* radio, Louise!
Louise: Damn, Jimmy. What'd you do, take some kinda pill that makes you say all the right stuff?
Jimmy: Yeah. I'm chokin' on it.
Thelma: Good morning everybody, this is a robbery. Now if nobody loses their head, nobody will lose their head. Simon says everybody lay down on the floor, right away, right away, except you sir. You'll have a story to tell your friends, that or a tag on your toe, it's your decision. Now you take this bag and empty the cash register into it.
Store clerk: Yes ma'am.
Thelma: Let's see who wins a prize for keeping their cool. Now you sir, lay back down, thank you. Hey, throw in a couple bottles of Wild Turkey while you're at it.
Store clerk: Sure ma'am.
Thelma: Thank you, now everybody just stay down on the floor until I leave, thank you for your cooperation and have a good day.
Louise: Should've gone to the police in the beginning, why didn't I?
Thelma: You said why before.
Louise: What'd I say?
Thelma: That nobody would believe us. You know that jerk was really hurting me, and if you hadn't come along when you had he would've hurt me even worse. And probably nothing would've been done with him because I was dancing with him all night and everybody saw it and they'd figure I had it coming. My life would've been ruined a whole lot more than it is now, now I'm having fun. I'll tell you something else, I'm not the least bit sorry that creep is dead, I'm just sorry it was you who did it and not me.
Thelma: You awake?
Louise: Guess you could call it that, my eyes are open.
Thelma: I'm awake too. I feel awake.
Thelma: I feel really awake. I don't recall ever feeling this awake. You know? Everything looks different now. You feel like that? You feel like you got something to live for now?
Louise: We'll be drinking margaritas by the sea, mamacita.
Thelma: You know we could change our names.
Louise: To live in a hacienda.
Thelma: I want to get a job, I'll work at Club Med.
Louise: Yeah, what kind of deal is that cop going to have to come up with to top that?
Thelma: Have to be pretty good.
Louise: Have to be pretty damn good.
Lena, Waitress: Neither one of those girls is the murdering type, Hal!
Thelma: [Louise tells her the police probably tapped Darryl's phone] Tap the phones? What're you talking about?
Louise: Come on, Thelma, murder 1 and armed robbery.
Thelma: Murder 1? We can't even say it was self defense?
Louise: Well it wasn't, we got away, we were walking away.
Thelma: Yeah but they don't know that. It was just you and me there. I'll say he raped me and you had to shoot him, that's almost the truth.
Louise: Won't work.
Thelma: Why not?
Louise: There's no physical evidence, we can't prove he did it, we probably can't even prove by now that he touched you.
Thelma: God, the law is some tricky shit isn't it? Hey, how do you know about all this?
Louise: Besides, what're we going to say about the robbery? There's no such thing as justifiable robbery.
Thelma: Alright Louise...
[sees a white cowboy hat in the backseat]
Thelma: where'd you get this?
Louise: Stole it.
Thelma: I had a plan, I said we should go to the police, but you didn't like that.
Louise: Well what's the rush, Thelma? If we wait long enough, they'll come to us.
Louise: Tell Darryl you'll be home tomorrow night.
Thelma: Will I be?
Louise: I don't know. I won't be.
Louise: [Thelma's tossing a bottle of Wild Turkey out of the car] Thelma, don't you litter.
Thelma: [stopping suddenly at the edge of a cliff] What is this?
Louise: I don't know, I think... I think it's the vast Grand Canyon!
Thelma: Isn't it beautiful?
Louise: Yeah, it's something.
Thelma: Come on, Louise, don't blow it.
Thelma: [to Louise] I told you to slow down, officer I told her to slow down.
Louise: Yes she did.
[gives the state trooper her license]
Louise: How fast was I going?
State Trooper: About 110.
Thelma: [with her gun to the state trooper's head] I swear 3 days ago neither one of us would've EVER pulled a stunt like this, but if you'd ever meet my husband you'd understand why.
Louise: [bringing two pots of coffee to a table] Decaf or regular?
Louise: Uh, regular.
Louise: You girls are kind of young to be smoking, don't ya think?
[girls roll their eyes]
Louise: Ruins your sex drive.
[cut to Louise smoking in the back room]
[the ladies are just starting off on their road trip. Thelma lifts out Darryl's pistol]
Thelma: Oh, Louise, umm, will you take care of this gun?
Louise: What in hell did you bring that for?
Thelma: Oh, come on! Psycho killers, or bears or snakes? I just don't know how to use it. Will you take care of it?
Louise: Put it away! Just, here, put it in my purse. Thelma, good lord!
Louise: [a little way into their driving trip, Louise is smoking, Thelma takes one of Louise's cigarettes and mimes smoking it, to her reflection in the side mirror. Louise looks over and grins] Thelma, what are you doin'?
Thelma: Smokin'. Hey, I'm Louise!
[Louise has just discovered that J.D. has stolen all of her money, and Thelma is trying to console her]
Thelma: I don't believe it. I don't believe it! Louise. You okay? Louise? I'm sorry, I mean it.
[Louise has her wrists over her face as Thelma kneels down to face her]
Thelma: Louise. It's okay. It's okay.
Louise: [Louise lifts her tear-streamed face] No, Thelma, it's not okay! It's definitely not okay. None of this is okay! I mean, what am I gonna do for money? Huh? How'm I gonna get gas? I mean, trade on our good looks? I mean
[she starts sobbing]
Louise: Thelma, oh, goddamn, it's not okay!