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The Roller Blade Seven (1991)

| Action, Sci-Fi
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3:25 | Trailer
In a futuristic society, a sword-wielding roller skater fights evil ninjas, punk roller skaters and is sent on an important rescue mission

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During the 1991 creation of The Roller Blade Seven and its sequel, Return of the Roller Blade Seven, the filmmakers: Donald G. Jackson and Scott Shaw shot over twenty-four hours of 16mm ... See full summary »

Director: Scott Shaw
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Mark Richardson ...
Chopper
Selina Jayne ...
Roger Ellis ...
Claudia Scholtz ...
Kenneth H. Kim ...
Utility Ninja
Ani Bilesky ...
Hawk's Bride 1
Liselotte Christiansen ...
Hawk's Bride 2
Sam Mann ...
Axe Man
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Storyline

In a futuristic society, a sword-wielding roller skater fights evil ninjas, punk roller skaters and is sent on an important rescue mission

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Action | Sci-Fi

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Also Known As:

Brygada siedmiu mieczy  »

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Named number 27 of the 100 Best B-Movies of All Time by Paste Magazine in 2014. See more »

Quotes

Saint Offender: I shall have my revange now!
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Connections

Followed by Legend of the Roller Blade Seven (1992) See more »

Soundtracks

Them Roller Blades
Written by Judy Henske, Donald G. Jackson, Scott Shaw
Performed by Judy Henske
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User Reviews

 
Tight joke
12 December 2004 | by (The Wheel Zone) – See all my reviews

This has to be the greatest practical joke ever. I'm amazed that all the other actors kept a straight face. I might be wrong but the impression I get from this movie was that they duped Frank Stallone and Joe Estevez into acting in this movie that has a budget of just under $40, depending on how much those nerf bats and spray painted catcher's equipment cost, create the most incoherent movie ever created, and sit back and laugh at the fact that Joe Estevez and Frank Stallone weren't in on the joke.

If by some chance they weren't kidding and they legitimately tried to make a real movie then I feel sorry for everyone involved in the creation. I've had quite a love affair with cheesy movies, but this movie is so bad I can hardly watch it. They repeat pointless "special effects" so many times that it's obvious they were just trying to cover up the fact that they only shot 30 minutes of footage. If I were forced to watch this movie on repeat I would bludgeon myself unconscious with my own hands after about one and a half times through. No offense to the great Frank Stallone, but I would rather watch Sylvester teach a fingerpainting class for 10 hours than watch that movie ever again.


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