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Only the Lonely (1991) Poster

Quotes

Danny: [Danny has just scored a date with Theresa and runs into some funeral attendees] Yeah! Oh... sorry... but I just got lucky in there with a girl.

[funeral attendees look shocked]

Danny: Not in that way... she does everybody in there... not in that way. But she probably did that guy there... I gotta go.

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Danny: I'll pick you up at seven. Where do you live?

Theresa: Here.

Danny: With the stiffs?

Theresa: Um, my father and I have an apartment upstairs.

Danny: Oh! Yeah, sure! That's uh... convenient!

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Danny: [to save time, Danny and Sal decide to transport a corpse out a sixth floor window via a fire hose but the hose turns out to be too short] I guess we have to bring him back up.

Salvatore Buonarte: I'm not bringing him back up here, he's too damn heavy!

Danny: Well, what do you suggest we do?

Salvatore Buonarte: Cut the hose.

Danny: [shocked] Cut the hose?

Salvatore Buonarte: Yeah, let him fall.

Danny: To the ground?

Salvatore Buonarte: Yeah!

Danny: A fall like that could kill a guy!

Salvatore Buonarte: He's dead for Chrissake! He's not gonna mind!

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Rose: I had a Pollock friend once. She was incredibly stupid...

Danny: Don't do this, Ma.

Rose: ...Julie Kapowski. She was the stupidest woman that I ever knew. She believed that black cows...

[laughs]

Rose: ...black cows squirted chocolate milk!

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Nick Acropolis: Rose! Rose, I am trying again. Will you please accept these flowers?

Rose: I don't want them. And I don't date Greeks.

Nick Acropolis: You know, you and I could make each other so happy. Greek men are great lovers.

Rose: And Greek men never bathe.

Nick Acropolis: I bathe twice a day! Three times! When I do my sit-ups. Feel that stomach. Hard like an eighteen-year-old's. Come on, feel it!

Rose: I'm not feeling anything of yours.

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Doyle: If I'd gotten married, I wouldn't be where I am now.

Spats: In a tavern?

Doyle: Free! Living like a king!

Spats: You live at the Y.

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[repeated line]

Danny: Sometimes it's good to be a cop.

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Father Strapovic: You feel threatened by Theresa.

Rose: Threatened?

Father Strapovic: Yes. See, she's taking up a lot of Danny's time, so you're feeling threatened that she's trying to steal your son.

Rose: What?

Father Strapovic: Rose, I know you realize it's the nineties, I'm just not sure you realize it's the *nineteen* nineties.

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Rose: Oh, that's a lovely dress you wearing.

Danny: Isn't it?

Theresa: Oh, thank you!

Rose: Even though it is a little big on top.

Danny: Ma!

Rose: Well, it is, you said so yourself.

Danny: Ma!

Theresa: No, no that's a problem I have, I'm not really that endowed on top.

Danny: No, no, no, no, no.

Rose: You're built like a thirteen year old boy.

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Danny: I suppose you're proud of yourself.

Rose: Just telling it like it is.

Danny: That's been your excuse for the last 67 years.

Rose: My excuse?

Danny: Your excuse for hurting people whenever the hell you feel like it!

Rose: I don't hurt people.

Danny: Oh no? I guess you didn't hurt Aunt Dolly on her wedding day when you said she looked like a, uh, a cheap Las Vegas hooker.

Rose: Well, did you see the wedding dress? The back of it was cut right down to here. You could see the crack of her - Well, it was indecent.

Danny: And I guess you didn't hurt cousin Jerry when you called his German wife a Nazi who probably slept with Hitler.

Rose: Well, there's no proof that she didn't.

Danny: [prepares for the big one] I guess you never hurt dad, either.

Rose: [shuts the fridge door, stern] I *never* hurt your father, ever.

Danny: Florsheim Shoes?

Rose: [surprised] How do you know about that?

Danny: You came home late. You were arguing and I woke up. I was scared. I didn't know what was going on, so I listened in at the door.

Rose: A little spy.

Danny: Come on, I was only 12.

Rose: Spy!

Danny: Florsheim Shoes was his big account. He worked on that for over two-and-a-half years.

Rose: Danny.

Danny: You blew it for him in one night.

Rose: Danny, don't.

Danny: And all he had to do was sign a deal at dinner. One fancy schmancy dinner with the VP from Florsheim.

Rose: [attempts to leave the kitchen] I'm going to bed.

Danny: [blocks her way out] No, you're not. Everything was fine that evening. Dinner was perfect. Dad had him at the palm of his hand. Until you decided it was time to tell it like it is.

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Rose: I was right. I still stand by what I said.

Danny: You called dad's bosses filthy Jew shylocks!

Rose: They never gave him a raise. Not in 12 years. Not one Christmas bonus.

Danny: Ma, the vice president of Florsheim and his wife were Jewish!

Rose: Well, how was I supposed to know? They didn't look Jewish. I wasn't talking about them. They took it personal.

Danny: You lost the account for him! $450,000 to the company! He's lucky he didn't lose his job!

Rose: Your father *never* stood up to his bosses. It was time somebody set the record straight.

Danny: That night was the only time I ever heard my father cry. And still to this day, you still tell it like it is.

Rose: I don't mean to hurt people. Really.

[Danny scoffs at her and heads to the front door]

Rose: Where are you going?

Danny: To Halstead. A friend of mine owns a jewelry shop. He owes me a favor. I'm gonna make him open up his store. Then I'm gonna buy the biggest engagement ring I can afford. Then I'm gonna ask Theresa Luna to be my wife. Just telling it like it is, ma.

[he exits]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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