Madonna: We shouldn't have any more sex. You should build an altar for me in home and worship it daily, and you call me collect!
Madonna: [makes gagging noises] "Neat"? Anybody who says my show is "neat" has to go.
Madonna: It's pretty racy. I don't know if you could take it two nights.
Silvio Ciccone: Oh, you had to get racy on me, huh?
Madonna: Dad, I'm not getting racy. I've been racy.
Silvio Ciccone: Well, can't you tone it down a bit?
Madonna: For you? No, because that would be compromising my artistic integrity.
Silvio Ciccone: Of course.
Silvio Ciccone: Do you undress in this performance?
Madonna: No! Of course I don't.
Kevin Costner: Thanks for having us. It was really generous.
Madonna: Thanks for coming.
Kevin Costner: We thought it was "neat".
Kevin Costner: Really neat.
Madonna: No one's ever described it as that.
Kevin Costner: Have fun. We won't be making that other deal.
Madonna: Not neat enough for you?
Madonna: [after learning Toronto police will arrest her if she simulates masturbation on-stage] Last time I was on tour, Sean was in jail. I guess it's my turn.
Madonna: [voiceover, as Madonna visits her mother's grave] What I remember most about her was that she was - she was very kind and very gentle and very feminine. I don't know, I guess she seemed like an angel to me, but I suppose everybody thinks their mother's an angel when they're five. I also know she was really religious, so I never really understood why she was taken away from us. It seemed so unfair. I never thought that she had done something wrong, so oftentimes I wondered what I had done wrong.
Warren Beatty: [after Madonna declines to talk to her doctor off-camera] She doesn't want to live off-camera, much less talk. There's nothing to say off-camera. Why would you say something if it's off-camera? What point is there existing?
Donna DeLory: Madonna, truth or dare?
Donna DeLory: Who has been the love of your life, in your whole life?
Madonna: My whole life? Sean. Sean.
[Madonna shows a television remote control to director Alec Keshishian, who is off-camera]
Madonna: I'm going to press this thing. I'm going to press power. When I press it, the camera's going to go off instantly.
Madonna: Go away! Cut it! Cut it, Alec! Cut it, goddamn it!
Madonna: Do we wanna be accepted by Hollywood?
Madonna: Do we care what people think about us?
Madonna: Do we want people to kiss our ass?
Madonna: Okay now, do we want an "R" rating or an "X" rating?
Madonna: "X" for extra fun!
Madonna: [praying with her dancers before a concert] We're dedicating tonight's performance to Keith Haring, who doesn't have the luxury of being alive like we do.
Madonna: [makeup artist is trying to apply makeup to Madonna's lips during a tirade] Do something else! Do my eyebrows!
Niki Harris: I got the moves baby. You got the LOTION.
[Complaining after her microphones dysfunction on stage]
Madonna: Somebody sent some big fat man up in the front to give me dirty looks all night.
Madonna: So what is considered masturbation?
Christopher Ciccone: When you stick your hand in your crotch.
Gay pride protesters: We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!