Knight Rider 2000 (1991 TV Movie)
K.I.T.T.: Now that's just wonderful. You stick me in mothballs for nearly a decade, and then you sell my parts like I'm inventory for Manny, Moe and Jack.
Russell Maddock: What the hell are you doing?
[Michael re-activates KITT in the Knight 4000]
Russell Maddock: Oh, my God. You didn't!
K.I.T.T.: I'm afraid he did Mr. Maddock. And I must say, this body fits me like a glove!
K.I.T.T.: Is that you, Michael?
Michael Knight: Yeah.
K.I.T.T.: You look like crap.
Michael Knight: Well, so do you, pal.
K.I.T.T.: At least I have an excuse. You've obviously gone down the toilet since we split up, Michael. Get a life.
Michael Knight: I got a life and a body, too, which is more I than I can say for you.
Devon Miles: Do you remember what Wilton always said? 'One man can make a difference'.
Michael Knight: I remember. But that man is not me anymore. Me is fishing and taking care of my Chevy outside. Me is taking advantage of life for a change instead of life taking advantage of me.
Devon Miles: No one ever suggested that what we do is easy. Nothing worthwile ever is.
K.I.T.T.: I can't even play a round of Pac-man in here.
Michael Knight: Oh, you're dating yourself, buddy-boy. Pac-man's in the Smithsonian now.
K.I.T.T.: Probably an exhibit or two away from you.
James 'Scotty' Doohan: [having been stunned by Kitt] They set their phasers on stun, captain... I don't like the looks of it.
K.I.T.T.: Michael, shall I mirandize him?
Michael Knight: [helping Doohan stand up] Kitt, it's Scotty.
Russell Maddock: Star Trek, you idiot, he's James Doohan. The actor who played Scotty in the original series and all ten movies.
Michael Knight: Don't tell me you're a closet Trekkie?
James 'Scotty' Doohan: The dilithium crystals are fading fast... I don't think I can hold her Mr. Spock...
Michael Knight: [about Shawn] All the chips in the world and she has to end up with Kitt's...
Russell Maddock: Kitt was an exceptional car for its time, no question about it. It's just that the time has come to pass the baton.
Devon Miles: Oh, I agree that the Knight 4000 is superior in every way. Except one: it lacks Kitt's humanity.
K.I.T.T.: [Kitt just drove off a pier] I trust you both are alright?
Michael Knight: Oh yeah, just fine, Kitt. If you forget the fact that my Chevy just sank past a school of bass.
[Maddock is taking Devon on a test drive in the Knight Industries 4000]
K.I.F.T.: Sir, would you like me to engage my virtual reality mode?
Russell Maddock: [takes hands off the wheel] Why not.
[an image is projected on the screen of the path ahead, separated into three layers, then recombined into an artificial image filling the windscreen]
Devon Miles: Very impressive. But I really think we should slow down.
K.I.F.T.: There is no need for concern. I'm programmed to cruise at the optimum speed, calibrated to a risk factor of .28, which on this roadway calculates at 243 kilometers per hour.
[Maybe for safety, but not for comfort, as they experience a hard bump in the road during the car's line. It continues on toward camera down a straight, single undulation of road as the camera pans down to the points on the antlers of a buck standing in the road!]
Russell Maddock: Got it!
[Maddock grabs the wheel and narrowly evades the buck!]
Devon Miles: [to the car] I assume you have an explanation.
K.I.F.T.: [calmly, clearly not comprehending the reason for the rebuke] We would have sustained no damage whatsoever by striking that animal.
K.I.F.T.'s monitor (text): [simultaneously showing analysis] NORTH AMERICAN DEER / Family : CERVIDAE / SEX : MALE / LBS. 350 / No vehicular damage.
[Devon shoots Maddock a sharp, alarmed look]
Russell Maddock: [shrugs] It's a small fix.
Charlie: [Shawn and Maddock are leaving, Maddock spots Michael's wrecked Chevy on a security camera] A beauty, isn't she.
Russell Maddock: Yeah, and not a mark on her. We're looking at a recording.
Michael Knight: It's either sink or swim with you, huh, pal?
K.I.T.T.: I expect a full simonize once this is over.
K.I.T.T.: I suppose, we should at least be cordial. My name is KITT, originally designed with Series 2000 circuitry.
[K.I.F.T. turns on lights]
K.I.T.T.: Terrific. The lights are on, but nobody's home. They spend $10 million building the car and forget the voice. Incredible.
[K.I.F.T starts on and goes behind KITT]
K.I.T.T.: So it's going to be, "Mine is bigger than yours", is it?
K.I.F.T.: Mine is bigger than yours.
K.I.T.T.: So it talks... and sounds suspiciously familiar.
K.I.F.T.: I only speak when it's necessary
K.I.T.T.: Maddock's voice. I knew the man had an ego, but please.
K.I.F.T.: We have nothing further to discuss.
[K.I.F.T puts off his lights]
K.I.T.T.: There's nothing worse than a smart-ass automobile.
FIN Newscaster: [continued] President Quayle attributed the swift success of Operation Tropical Storm to innovative combat technology and the support of the American people.
Russell Maddock: Wonderful. A car with an attitude.
K.I.T.T.: [Kitt is now encased in a '57 Chevy] You'd have a disposition too if you suddenly went from state of the art to this. I may not catch every criminal, but I'll sure look good at the drive in.
Michael Knight: Kitt, there are no more drive-ins.
K.I.T.T.: In that case I'm useless.
Russell Maddock: You've got a chip in your head, don't ya?
Shawn McCormick: Memory chip transplants are not uncommon today.
Devon Miles: Oh, everything may work out fine. Mr. Maddock has one on his shoulder.
Shawn McCormick: Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you leave the Foundation in 1990 to run an unprofitable bass charter?
Shawn McCormick: [Michael does not reply] It seems you get along better with fish than you do with people.
Michael Knight: Hey, I know some fish with better personalities than you.
K.I.T.T.: [Kitt is sinking fast] I only have about 30 seconds of voice transmission left.
Michael Knight: If water gets in your CPU you're out of here...
K.I.T.T.: I know. I guess this is goodbye. I'm sure some of my chips will be salvagable, Shawn. Of course you're welcome to pick and choose.
Shawn McCormick: I'll do that.
K.I.T.T.: Michael... take care of yourself?
Shawn McCormick: [to Michael] This is a little hard for me to admit, but in some ways you're actually superior to me. You have experience. I don't. I need you.
FIN Newscaster: The advent of algae farms which now produced non-polluting hydrogen fuel has unquestionably helped the environment. But not everyone is happy about it. Worldwide oil priced have plunged to under 10 cents a barrel as a result. With Persian Gulf countries the hardest hit.
[At the end of the new car's test drive, they park]
Russell Maddock: Overall, what do you think? I'm not lookin' for praise, Devon. I want your honest opinion. It means a lot to me.
Devon Miles: I think you've done a remarkable job. It meets and, in most cases, exceeds all our technical criteria.
Russell Maddock: I know we do things very differently... but, believe it or not, our goal is the same. KITT was an exceptional car for his time, no question about it. It's just that the time has come to pass the baton.
Devon Miles: Oh, I agree, the Knight 4000 is superior in every way... except for one: it lacks KITT's humanity.
Russell Maddock: [pauses, takes a long breath] People make mistakes. After persecuting scum for so many years, always having to fight defense lawyers and politicians who only care about winning... I... I have less faith in human beings.
Devon Miles: Well, maybe it's time you renewed it. Loyalty and respects cannot be dictated, Russ; it has to be earned. That being said, it's a damn good job. I'm proud to have you as a partner.