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10 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
Good voyeuristic fun!, 20 March 2002
Author: glenmusher from Maidstone, England.

This is a movie with cult potential.Brian Thompson(in a rare leading role.)is the misogynistic soldier of fortune called on to lead an army of seven beautiful fashion models/ mercenaries to rescue an imprisoned leader from a despotic regime.Good supporting cast in the shape of the late Oliver Reed and Jose Ferrar.It also features a gay kiss scene(of sorts) between Reed and Thompson!The dialogue is cliched, but the action is good.The girls look as if they escaped from a Robert Palmer video.Good voyeuristic fun!

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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
It's like the plot of a movie on The Simpson's Television, 19 May 2009
7/10
Author: Bezenby from United Kingdom

I love this director. First, he gave us Island of Death, an utterly outrageous and hilarious piece of video nasty trash. Then, after thinking that was the only film he'd ever made, I found myself watching Nightmare at Noon, a Crazies style film with plenty of action and hoots. Now, I've sat through Hired to Kill, and although it's not as good as those two films, it still has plenty of daftness to keep my attention.

Brian Thompson is one of those secret service types hired to infiltrate a despotic country and overthrow dictator Oliver Reed, but not just that, he's got to do it posing as a gay fashion designer with an entourage of special forces beauties posing as models. So it's kind of like the dirty dozen remade by Vogue magazine, including the obligatory training scene, and the obligatory fashion model shoot. No wonder Oliver Reed looks perplexed (and a little bit toasted in a couple of scenes).

This is all pretty fun stuff, but there's a lack of action for the first hour or so. Still, there's the standout scene where Oliver Reed checks whether or not Thompson is actually gay or not which had me in stitches. I'm not even sure Reed was expecting to be kissed by Thompson because his surprise seems pretty genuine. Great stuff.

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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Absurd, 23 January 2005
4/10
Author: gridoon

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

There's plenty of eye-candy here (though Mastorakis had the brilliant idea to kill off the gorgeous babe Barbara Lee Alexander halfway through), and Brian Thomson gives a funny performance, playing the usual "macho" stereotype and spoofing it at the same time. As an action movie, however, "Hired to Kill" is unpretentious but absurd: there is no real action until the last 30 minutes...then there is one of those "Commando"-type endings where the inept bad guys are essentially just stunt men waiting for their cue to "die". The plot is totally anachronistic - brave commandos (preferably American) rescuing a revolutionary leader and overthrowing the local dictator of some banana republic - but the funny part is that, because the film was shot in Corfu, Greece, it was impossible to set it in the usual unnamed Latin American banana republic, so Mastorakis created a fictional Mediterranean country named Cypra (!!!). Hmmm, I wonder which real country's name he was trying oh-so-subtly to avoid...By the way, is this the official low point of Oliver Reed's career? (probably not) (*1/2)

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A bloody classic!, 26 August 2008
10/10
Author: disco_pigs1332 from United Kingdom

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

What can I say? This film has EVERYTHING! But most importantly, it has Brian Thompson, whose acting skills stand in good stead with the brilliance of Oliver Reed and George Kennedy... but for different reasons. His ability to make every line he utters seem completely unbelievable is sheer genius, one of my favourites being "Kiss Mother For Me!" It's impossible to dislike this film, but you can't watch it like you would watch any other film. You have to watch this knowing that what you're about to watch is utter balls, but at the same time it is THE balls! I implore you to watch this film, if only for the Oliver Reed and Brian Thompson kissing scene (yes, you read correctly). Oh, and also for the song "Doing It For The Money" that plays throughout the film. It's a bloody classic! WATCH IT!!!

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3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
I LOVE THIS MOVIE!, 13 August 2003
10/10
Author: Jack Flash

I love these old action movies with bad actors and all the cliches, they're simply just so funny. If you liked showdown in little tokyo or any of Arnolds action movies, then you'll like this :) Too bad this one wasn't shown in cinemas and I had to rent the DVD. So if you have a good sounds system and a thing for old action movies, then GET THIS ONE!!!

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OK actioner but Brian Thompson deserves better, 15 August 2006
5/10
Author: HaemovoreRex from United Kingdom

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Given his muscular frame and intense look, the always excellent Brian Thompson is usually found typecast in movies as the bad guy (Cobra and Mortal Kombat:Annihilation to name but two instances) so it came as a very pleasant and refreshing change to see him given the chance to play the hero role in this film.

In it he plays Frank Ryan, a highly trained mercenary who is hired by a shady organisation (headed by George Kennedy) to rescue an imprisoned rebel leader from a (fictitious) country called Cypra, somewhere in the middle east.

Sounds straight forward? Well that's what Ryan thinks at first to, fully expecting to go in with his guns a blazing to get the job done. However, the mission stipulates a more subtle approach and some undercover work involving of all things, a modelling agency! Much to his chagrin, Ryan is given the new identity of a gay fashion designer, whilst his beautiful female 'models' are in fact, recruited mostly from maximum security jails for their special (and very deadly) skills which Ryan hones to even deadlier perfection through a rigorous and brutal training regime.

With his new soldiers now ready for action, Ryan takes them to Cypra, where they are greeted by the host, the head of the government's security services and acting leader (Oliver Reed sporting his mighty moustache!) for an exclusive fashion shoot.

Of course, much action ensues with our hero's eventually locating their intended target to free him....but is this the real mission objective? Throw in a bit of double crossing, and at least not all of our band of liberators making it back home safely....

So on to the quality of the film itself now; Well the good news is that Thompson certainly makes the most of his role as the chauvinistic, tough as nails hard man with a secret soft heart. The ladies to look lovely whilst simultaneously handling the action scenes well and it's always fun to watch the late, great Oliver Reed in action.

The bad news is that very sadly, there just isn't nearly enough of the aforementioned action to enthral most action fans.

Still, what there is, is admittedly handled with some not inconsiderable flair by directors Nico Mastorakis and Peter Rader including some nice BIG explosions during the climax and some great helicopter stunt work. I also really enjoyed the very end of this, wherein one of the films protagonists gets their just desserts in a very fitting way.

Overall then, certainly not a bad film by any means, but it's also certainly not the all out action trailer that Brian Thompson deserves to headline. Come on Hollywood, give this actor some more roles!

As a final note: Watch out for the hilarious scene where Oliver Reed's character grabs Thompson by the gonads to check if he's genuinely homosexual. Thompson, looking somewhat shocked, has to quickly act his part by kissing him!

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2 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Escaped from that island known as prison..., 10 June 2006
10/10
Author: Seth Nelson from (Near) D/FW Airport, Texas, USA

...with a little help from his "friends," of course!

"Hired to Kill" is about a prisoner who, after he gets out of jail "free" (LOL another Monopoly joke here!), he hires a bunch of really beautiful women who, well, help the poor rotting man do bad things! Now this is excitement! No, I would never live life like this! But, what I am saying is, this movie is exciting because of the plot, the action, the babes...what else could you possibly want in a manly movie?

I say, "Hired to Kill" is such an excellent "escape from prison" type of movie. It may not be like "The Rock," but it's still that good! I give this film ten stars for the action, the adventure, the suspense, the girls, and anything else that this movie offers! Have some fun with "Hired to Kill" tonight!

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