Los gusanos no llevan bufanda (1992)

Director:

Javier Elorrieta

Writer:

Santiago Moncada (writer)

Release Date:

24 January 1992 (Spain)

Genre:

Comedy

Plot Keywords:

Chase

Cast

  (Credited cast)

Clayton Rohner	...	Adam Kent
Cristina Piaget	...	María
José Luis López Vázquez	...	Parachute officer
Aramis Ney	...	Reverendo
Roddy McDowall	...	Ernest Peabody
Anthony Perkins	...	Mechanical Man
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Beatriz Carvajal	...	Parachute officer's wife
Tony Fuentes
Loles León
Juan Carlos Martín	...	Parachuter
Rossy de Palma
Valentín Paredes
Jack Taylor

Also Known As:

The Naked Target (USA)
Worms Don't Wear Scarves (International: English title) (informal literal English title)

Runtime:

96 min

Country:

Spain

Language:

Spanish

Color:

Color

WHAT THE... ?!?!

No, I'm not surprised that a movie this mind-numbingly awful was made (unfortunately I've seen dozens just as bad, specially from Spain), but can someone please tell me what two actors as fine as Roddy McDowall and Anthony Perkins are doing in such a piece of...? How did the producers convince them to come to Spain and film it, as cheap and terrible it is? I guess they wanted a nice holiday in a foreign country, but appearing in this tripe was a price much higher than what they would pay to any travel agency.

The story (?) revolves around an American guy (Clayton Rohner) who is handcuffed to a suitcase that contains some sort of important documents, and spends the whole movie running away from a hitman dressed as a priest (Aramis Ney). The fact that he's American isn't at all relevant to the plot, because in the Spanish original version his voice is dubbed and has no accent whatsoever that can distinguish him from the Spaniard characters (McDowall and Perkins are dubbed as well). Well, the thing is, he spends half the movie naked and the other half in drag, which leads to lots and lots and lots of gay jokes of the worst kind (from stuttering sissies to male stripper clubs). McDowall, as the main villain, retains some dignity because with a single look at his face you can tell he wishes he was somewhere else (ANYWHERE else!), but Perkins makes an absolute fool out of himself as a guy who's part mechanical because he has had way too many car accidents (and enjoyed every single one of them) and likes to pick transvestites up (or women, but in the movie he always picks transvestites up, don't know what he intends) and give them fast speed rides. His character is half Dr. Strangelove, half Kenneth Mars from "Young Frankenstein", and total embarrassment. His character doesn't even have anything to do with the main plot! It's SO sad this was his last theatrical performance ever...

The director, Javier Elorrieta, also made a terrible film version of Hemingway's "Blood and Sand" staring a pre-"Basic Instinct" Sharon Stone, and she apparently said that she'd love to crash every single copy of it with an ice pick. You know she's smart.

1/10. No matter how big a fan of McDowall or Perkins you are, stay away from this stinker.