Ed Couch: What the hell's this?
Evelyn Couch: That's a low cholesterol meal. Happy Valentine's.
Ed Couch: God! Are you trying to kill me?
Evelyn Couch: If I was gonna kill you, I'd use my hands.
[Evelyn is cut off in a parking lot]
Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!
Girl #1: Face it, lady, we're younger and faster!
[Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times]
Girl #1: What are you *doing*?
Girl #2: Are you *crazy*?
Evelyn Couch: Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance.
Ninny Threadgoode: I wouldn't be afraid of death if I was you. I'd be more afraid of driving in rush hour traffic.
Ninny Threadgoode: I found out what the secret to life is: friends. Best friends.
Ruth: My daddy always used to say there was a separate god for children.
Ninny Threadgoode: A heart can be broken, but it will keep beating just the same.
Sipsey: Secret's in the sauce.
Buddy Threadgoode: Come on down, Li'l Bit. There's no firin' squad waitin' for ya.
Ninny Threadgoode: Did you know they took my gallbladder out?
Evelyn Couch: Uh, no I didn't.
Ninny Threadgoode: Oh yes, still in the hospital in a jar. I guess that's where they keep them.
Evelyn Couch: I guess.
Sipsey: Oh it don't make no kind of sense. Big ol' ox like Grady won't sit next to a colored child. But he eats eggs- shoot right outta chicken's ass!
Evelyn Couch: Towanda! Righter of Wrongs, Queen Beyond Compare!
Ninny Threadgoode: How many of them hormones you takin', honey?
Frank Bennett: Well, hello there, miss. And who might you be?
Idgie Threadgoode: Towanda, to you. Who're you?
Frank Bennett: Oh, ah, Frank Bennett's the name, Miss... ah, Towanda.
Idgie Threadgoode: Hmm.
Frank Bennett: I must say, you are looking mighty fine today.
Idgie Threadgoode: You a politician, or does lying just run in your family?
Ninny Threadgoode: Idgie and her friend Ruth ran the Whistle Stop Cafe. Idgie was a character, all right. But how anybody could have thought she murdered that man is beyond me.
Evelyn Couch: I beg your pardon?
Ninny Threadgoode: Oh, what I wouldn't give for a plate of fried green tomatoes like we used to have at the cafe. Ooh!
Grady Kilgore: You are absolutely, unconditionally, positively the most stubborn person I've ever known in my life!
Evelyn Couch: Ms. Threadgoode, how about tellin' me some more, about Idgie?
Ruth: This doesn't have anything to do with trains, does it?
Mama Threadgoode: It's an obituary... oh no, honey, Ruth's mother died. And this is from the Bible, it's from the Book of Ruth. And Ruth said: "Whither thou goest, I will go. Where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people."
Idgie Threadgoode: I don't know what's worse, church or jail.
Ruth: You're just a bee charmer, Idgie Threadgoode. That's what you are, a bee charmer.
Ruth: Don't you ever say never to me.
Ruth: Idgie Threadgoode, you ol' beecharmer, you.
Ninny Threadgoode: [to Evelyn] You git yourself some hormones!
Idgie Threadgoode: I can't believe he swore on the Bible!
Ruth: Well, if that judge had looked any closer, he'd have seen that it was a copy of Moby Dick.
Nurse: I'd thought you'd be happy for Miz. Threadgood.
Evelyn Couch: [Crying and very upset] Happy? Cuz she's dead?
Nurse: No that she gets to go home. She just left in a yellow cab.
Evelyn Couch: [Looking VERY confused] I don't understand...
Nurse: Well, there was really no point in her staying here now that Mrs. Otis died...
Evelyn Couch: [Wide eyed] Mrs. OTIS died?
Nurse: Well yes.
Evelyn Couch: Mrs Otis died!
[hopping around laughing]
Evelyn Couch: Mrs. Otis died!
Evelyn Couch: Not that I'm happy that Mrs. Otis is dead.
Missy: I hear they've got an assertive training class for southern women.
Missy: Of course that's a contradiction in terms.
Evelyn Couch: I can't even look at my own vagina!
Ninny Threadgoode: Well I can't help you on that one honey.
Sipsey: It's all right, honey. Let her go. Let her go. You know, Miss Ruth was a lady. And a lady always knows when to leave.
Idgie Threadgoode: That's right, you gump-face, blown up, baboon-assed bastard!
Smokey Lonesome: Like I said, you ain't goin' nowhere with Miss Ruth's baby.
Idgie Threadgoode: Believe me when I tell you, I don't want you to move out.
Idgie Threadgoode: There's so many
Idgie Threadgoode: things I want to say to you.
Ruth: No, I love your stories. Tell me a story, Idgie.
Ruth: Go on you ol' Bee Charmer, tell me a good tall tale.
Idgie Threadgoode: One time, there this this lake
Idgie Threadgoode: and uh, it was right outside of town. We used to go fishin' and swimmin' and canoein' in it, and uh
Idgie Threadgoode: this one November this flock o'ducks came in and landed on that lake, and uh the tempurature dropped sp fast that the lake froze right there and then the ducks, they flew off ya see
Idgie Threadgoode: and took the lake with them
Idgie Threadgoode: and uh, now they say that lake is over in Georgia...
Idgie Threadgoode: imagin' that.
[walks over to Ruth]
Idgie Threadgoode: [sobs and starts to cry]
Prosecutor Percy: Why did you go with Idgie Threadgoode?
Judge: Answer the question Mrs. Bennett.
Ruth: Because she... she's the best friend I ever had, and I love her.
Idgie Threadgoode: [chasing Ruth] Where the hell are you going with my money?
Ruth: [walking to the car] We're going home!
Idgie Threadgoode: Who are you to boss be around?
Ruth: I'm the one holding your money, that's who.
Evelyn Couch: [after candy has been thrown at her] I'm glad you're feeling better, Aunt Vesta. Good thing your eyesight's failing.
Idgie Threadgoode: See, now is a time for courage. I guess you already know that there are angels masquerading as people walking around this planet and your mom was the bravest one of those.
Ninny Threadgoode: Hey Evelyn, somebody stole my house.
Ninny Threadgoode: That frying pan did more than fry chicken that night.
Ninny Threadgoode: It's good to see you're so happy, and you've slimmed down quite a bit these last few weeks.
Evelyn Couch: I'm just so happy, Big George and Idgie got off. I would've killed Frank Bennett if I coulda. Did anybody really think Idgie murdered him?
Ninny Threadgoode: Some said yes, some said no. The only person who really knew the answer to that was Frank Bennett, and you know what they say, dead men tell no tales.
Evelyn Couch: I never get mad, Miss Threadgoode, never, the way I was raised, it was bad manners. Well I got mad, and it felt great. I felt like I could just beat the shit out of all those punks! Excuse my language. And then when I finish with those punks, I'll take on all the wife beaters like Frank Bennett, machine gun their genitals,
[imitates machine gun]
Evelyn Couch: eh-he-he-he-he-he!
Evelyn Couch: Towanda will go on a rampage, I'll slip tiny bombs into Penthouse and Playboys so they explode when you open them. I'll ban all fashion models who weigh under 130 pounds! And I'll give half the military budget to people over 65 and declare wrinkles sexually desirable.
Ruth: I can understand having a funeral for an arm, I just don't know WHY she insists on calling him Stump.
Sipsey: Miss Idgie says everybody else will be calling him that, we might as well be the first.
Little Idgie Threadgoode: What if God made a mistake?
Buddy Threadgoode: Well the way I see it is He doesn't make mistakes. I mean, He made sure we got together, didn't He?
Evelyn Couch: Did you hear that?
Ed Couch: What?
Evelyn Couch: The train.
Ed Couch: No, I didn't hear no train.
Evelyn Couch: Ah, nothing I guess.
Ninny Threadgoode: [voiceover] After Ruth died and the railroad stopped runnin', the cafe shut down and everybody just scattered to the winds. It was never more'n just a little knockabout place, but now that I look back on it, when that cafe closed, the heart of the town just stopped beatin'. It's funny how a little place like this brought so many people together.
Buddy Threadgoode Jr.: Mommy, I can hit! You should see me. Aunt Idgie. She hit me in the back with a curveball. I didn't duck, and I hardly cried.
Ruth: She hit you? Well, she did that to me once too but I think I did cry.
Buddy Threadgoode Jr.: Mama, I'm sorry if you're sad.
Ruth: Well... give me a big kiss then, and I'll never be sad again. And you best not be sad neither.
Ruth: I've been thinkin', maybe I should move on because of Frank and all. I just... don't want you to feel like you have to look out for us. I just don't want to be selfish, that's all. Maybe if I wasn't here you'd settle down.
Idgie Threadgoode: I'm as settled as I ever hope to be.
Ninny Threadgoode: I'm worried about my little friend Evelyn. She said her husband, Ed, would just be sitting around watching his sports on TV... and she has an urge to hit him in the head with a baseball bat.
Janeen: Oh hell, that seems normal to me.
Ninny Threadgoode: All these people'll live as long as you remember 'em.