Defending Your Life (1991)
Daniel Miller: Is this Heaven?
Bob Diamond: No, it isn't Heaven.
Daniel Miller: Is it Hell?
Bob Diamond: Nope, it isn't Hell either. Actually, there is no Hell. Although I hear Los Angeles is getting pretty close.
[Lounge comedian is talking with audience members]
Comedian: How'd ya die?
Arthur: I was in a coma.
Comedian: I'm sorry. How long were you in the coma?
Arthur: I really don't know.
Comedian: Let's play a game, Art. Elvis: living or dead?
Comedian: Long coma, Art. Long coma.
Comedian: Well, there's a nice-looking young man over there. Hi, how'd ya die?
Daniel Miller: On stage, like you.
Bob Diamond: Did we ever stop to think that this young boy had a bond with his father? I don't think it had anything to do with the friend. I just think Daniel couldn't lie to his dad. That's all.
Lena Foster: You're nodding, Mr. Miller. Does that mean you agree with Mr. Diamond?
Daniel Miller: Oh, yes. I had a bond with my father. I pretty much never lied to him.
Lena Foster: You never lied to your father? Would you like me to show you at least 500 examples?
Daniel Miller: I said "pretty much" never lied. I didn't say I never, ever lied. You have to lie sometimes... in an emergency. But, ah, it doesn't mean the bond is affected. If you've got the bond the bond is always there, and if you have to lie occasionally you're not going to interfere with the bond. You know, the bond can wait for a little lie and... in the end it's there for you. You know, sometimes in the middle of a lie I found that the bond would kick in... maybe squeeze a little truth out.
Bob Diamond: Psst, wrap it up.
Daniel Miller: I'm through.
[Daniel and coworker are in large Jeep]
Daniel Miller: Why do you drive this?
Jeep Owner: What?
Daniel Miller: I'm curious. I see people driving these things. What do you know that I don't? Are floods coming? Hoover Dam broke? What's going on?
Jeep Owner: I like this car.
Daniel Miller: It's not a car, it's a battering ram. This is what Patton drove: "Hey you, soldier! Follow us!"
Jeep Owner: Make fun, but in an 8.5 earthquake, you'll beg for a Jeep.
Daniel Miller: In an 8.5 earthquake, I'll beg for a coffin.
Bob Diamond: For example, I use forty-eight percent of my brain. Do you know how much you use?
Daniel Miller: Forty... seven?
Bob Diamond: [laughs] Three.
Daniel Miller: What is this?
Julia: It's my hotel.
Daniel Miller: This is your hotel?
Julia: Yeah. Where are you staying?
Daniel Miller: Obviously at the place for people that weren't very generous and didn't adopt anybody. I'm at the Continental. Come over one day; we'll paint it.
Julia: [explaining how she died] We went to visit some friends for the weekend. Everybody wanted to go into town, but I wanted to stay at the house and go swimming. So I went outside, tripped over the chaise lounge, hit my head on the cement and rolled into the pool.
Daniel Miller: What did the East German judge give you?
Daniel Miller: Offer me $55,000; no more.
Daniel's wife: How much do you want?
Daniel Miller: How much are you offering?
Daniel's wife: Fifty-five thousand dollars.
Daniel Miller: I can't work here for a penny under 65.
Daniel's wife: Well, I can't pay you 65.
Daniel Miller: Then I can't work here. I'm sorry.
Daniel's wife: Fifty-eight thousand.
Daniel Miller: Sixty-five.
Daniel's wife: Sixty.
Daniel Miller: Sixty-five.
Daniel's wife: Sixty-one?
Daniel Miller: Let me make this perfectly clear to you: I can't work for you for any less than $65,000.
Lena Foster: Now, your honor, allow me to show you the real encounter.
Agency head: I'm prepared to offer you $49,000.
Daniel Miller: I'll take it.
Daniel Miller: Where were you? I'm just curious.
Bob Diamond: I'd tell you, but you wouldn't understand.
Daniel Miller: Don't treat me like a moron. Try me.
Bob Diamond: I was trapped near the inner circle of thought.
Daniel Miller: I don't understand.
Bob Diamond: I told you...
[two judges come in the trial room]
Lena Foster: Morning.
Daniel's judge: Good morning.
Daniel's judge: Good morning.
Bob Diamond: Good morning.
Daniel Miller: Good morning.
[Bob Diamond signals Daniel to be seated]
Daniel's judge: Mr. Miller, I'm sure your defender has explained all of the basics to you, but let me just say. Even though this feels like a trial, it really isn't. It's just a process that helps us decide, and as inperfect as it may be, we think it works quite well.
Daniel's judge: What you're going to see on this screen, Mr. Miller, will look and feel so real to you you might be a little uneasy at first. But just relax. After a while, I think it will become pleasurable to you. They tell me it feels something like 3-D.
[female judge chuckles]
Daniel's judge: Any questions, Mr. Miller?
[Daniel shakes his head "No"]
Daniel's judge: Ms. Foster, you may begin.
Lena Foster: Thank you, your honors. Over the course of the following four days, I will attempt to show that Daniel Miller, while he's a quality human being, is still held back by the fears that plague him lifetime after lifetime. I believe that I can show, without a shadow of a doubt, that he must once again be returned to Earth to wrok on his problem. May we begin in childhood, please? Could we go to 11419?
Daniel's judge: By the way, Mr. Miller, that signifies you're 11 years, four months, and 19 days old. Is that clear?
Daniel Miller: I think so.
Daniel Miller: So, you're great people to work with, this is a great present, and I wish I could squeeze you all into one pretty woman. And if you'd like to go to my office, I'll try.
Julia: Do you have a hot tub in your room?
Daniel Miller: No... why? Do you?
Julia: No! No... it's more like a... it's not even really a hot tub. Y'know, really it just has holes in it...
Daniel Miller: You don't have to protect my feelings. It's okay if you've got a got tub.
Julia: Oh... well then I do!
Julia: The best hot dogs in Judgement City are supposed to be over by the Hall of Records.
Daniel Miller: You really love this eating thing, don't you?
Julia: To be able to eat as much as you want, never gain an ounce and feel great. Please.
Lena Foster: What did you finally invest in, Mr. Miller, do you remember?
Daniel Miller: [under his breath] Um, uh... cattle.
Lena Foster: And what happened to the cattle?
Daniel Miller: I don't know; I never got a straight answer. All I know is that their teeth fell out.
Daniel Miller: Y'know if you really wanna make this place feel like Earth, you should open a few of those mini-malls.
Helen: It's funny you should say that - a few just opened outside of town. Personally, I wouldn't use them because I don't like yogurt and I LOVE doing my own nails.
Daniel Miller: You were born alone, you should celebrate it - celebrate aloneness. That's what birthdays are for.
Jeep Owner: Gee I never thought of it like that.
Daniel Miller: It's a pitiful theory.
Bob Diamond: Being from Earth, as you are, and using as little of your brain as you do, your life has pretty much been devoted to dealing with fear.
Daniel Miller: It has?
Bob Diamond: Well everybody on Earth deals with fear - that's what little brains do.
Bob Diamond: ...Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything - real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you're in for the ride of your life.
Daniel Miller: God... my three percent is swimming.
Bob Diamond: There was one person you were really cheap with. Over and over again. I wish you'd been more generous with him.
Daniel Miller: Who?
Bob Diamond: You.
Julia: I can't get you out of my mind.
Daniel Miller: Tell me about it. You know these screenings are so tough for me. And yet when I see you I instantly feel OK.
Julia: So that's great, right?
Daniel Miller: Well I don't think it has anything to do with me, that's what worries me. I think you're doing it.
Julia: What - what am I doing?
Daniel Miller: I'm not sure. But I always read that you had to be OK with yourself first before you could be OK with another person. Now I feel OK with you. But I don't know how OK I was with myself before I met you, so maybe you're making me OK.
Julia: You're not that OK.
Daniel Miller: OK.
Bob Diamond: They can make a mistake. You shouldn't let others get to you like this. Just follow what's in here.
[points to his heart]
Daniel Miller: [Daniel nods in agreement]
Bob Diamond: Don't worry, and don't kick yourself forever. Just take the opportunities when they come.
[In the Past Lives Pavillion]
Hologram: Welcome to the Past Lives Pavilion.
Woman in the background: Oh my God!
Eduardo: You gonna eat a lot with us tonight, now?
Julia: What do you recommend, Eduardo?
Eduardo: You like pasta?
Julia: Very much.
Eduardo: I gonna bring you three pounds of it, the best you ever tasted. You gonna love it.
Eduardo: [to Daniel] What about you, my friend? You like, eh, shrimp?
Daniel Miller: Um, yeah.
Eduardo: We can make it so fresh they crawl up and put it in your plate themselves.
Daniel Miller: Aren't they high in cholesterol?
Eduardo: I don't know what you're talking about, but they high in everything. Don't worry about it.
Daniel Miller: I was driving to work this morning thinking I will be here, in 2 months, it'll be 10 years. And you're like my real family. Isn't that tragic.
Daniel Miller: I got a call from my mother this morning, she wished me a happy birthday, and hinted around the fact that I wasn't making enough money. If you can call "are ya still making the same salary, honey" a hint. And my ex-wife used to say the same thing, although she never used the name "honey".
Daniel Miller: So, maybe in three years I can double my income?
Agency head: Good luck.
Daniel Miller: Four years? Okay. So, you're great people to work with, and this is a great present, and I wish I could squeeze all of you into one pretty woman.
Daniel Miller: And if you'd like to go to my office, I'll try.
Daniel Miller: Thanks a lot.
Tram guide: You'll find many activities for your enjoyment here in Judgment City. For example, how many like to play golf?
passengers: [blanks stares]
Tram guide: You won't get your hands up just yet, but good!
[Daniel and Bob are at a garden restaurant; Daniel is enjoying a chicken lunch platter]
Bob Diamond: We have about 400,000 residents here. We service half of the United States dead. That's about 2,500 people a day.
Daniel Miller: Do children come here?
Bob Diamond: Children don't have to defend themselves. When a child is taken, they automatically move forward. Isn't that nice?
Daniel Miller: What about teenagers?
Bob Diamond: Too much trouble. They go elsewhere. We tried for a while, but they damage the tupas. Too rowdy. What about your chicken? How do you like it?
Daniel Miller: Oh, delicious!
Bob Diamond: Yeah.
[Bob is eating a meatloaf-like substance]
Bob Diamond: Mmm!
Daniel Miller: [curious] What are you eating?
Bob Diamond: You wouldn't like this. Ha-ha-ha.
Daniel Miller: What is it? What's it taste like?
Bob Diamond: You're curious, aren't ya? Good. I like that about you. You wanna try?
Daniel Miller: Yeah. It looks so weird.
[Daniel tries the substance, but has a terrible taste; Daniel gags and chokes; Bob laughs]
Daniel Miller: Oh, my God!
Bob Diamond: A little like horseshit, huh?
[Daniel nods as he spits it out]
Bob Diamond: As you get smarter, you begin to manipulate your senses. This tastes much different to me than it is to you.
Daniel Miller: Eww! This is what smart people eat?
[the doors to the tram for Earth are closing when Daniel hears Julia calling out to him]
Julia: [yells] Daniel! Daniel! Daniel!
Daniel Miller: [screams] Julia!
Daniel Miller: [screaming] Julia!
[the eight trams are departing for both Earth and second phases]
Daniel Miller: Julia!
[Daniel, unable to return to Earth because of his love for Julia, make a last-minute, life risking choice by unbuckling his secured seatbelt, activating the first alarm]
Tram driver: What the hell are you doing?
[Daniel attempts to force the doors open]
Tram driver: Sit down right now! You're gonna hurt yourself!
[Daniel successfully forced the doors open, activating the second alarm; He then jumps out of the tram, both electrocuting himself and nearly gets run over by another tramin the process. Daniel finally ovecomes his fears by making his way to the eighth tram where Julia and others are moving forward to the next phase]
Daniel Miller: [Screaming] Julia! Julia! Julia!
Daniel Miller: Julia!
Daniel Miller: [Daniel gets zapped by the electromatic field and slips] Ow! Ow!
Julia: [Screaming] Aaah! Daniel!
Daniel Miller: I love you!
Julia: Oh, my God!
Daniel Miller: I tried to call you, but I didn't know your last name.
Daniel Miller: I won't let you go. I won't let you go!
[Daniel nearly slips and falls off the eighth tram attempting to embrace Julia]
Julia: Hold on! Hold on. Just please hold on. Hold on.
Daniel Miller: I love you.
Julia: I love you.
[Daniel bangs on the doors, not knowing he's being watched by Bob, Lena, and the two judges at the Judgement Center]
Daniel Miller: [Screams to the driver] Open this up! Damnit, open it up!
Julia: Please, open the door!
Daniel Miller: Julia, wait for me! Wait for me!
Bob Diamond: [to Lena] Brave enough for you?
[Lena is convinced that Daniel has conquered his fears]
Julia: Please, open the door! Please!
Daniel Miller: Julia! Julia!
[Daniel's female judge, also convinced, whispers to her male judge to let Daniel move forward]
Daniel's judge: Let him go.
[the doors successfully open and both Daniel and Julia embrace in their arms and has a passionate kiss; the passengers applaud for his bravery as the film ends]
Bob Diamond: If you use more than 5 percent of your brain you don't want to be on earth.