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|Index||150 reviews in total|
Every once in a while a film comes along that changes the way we look
at cinema. A film that redefines the art of movie-making and lives with
the viewer long after he/she has experienced it. You may hear the
critics mutter the words Star Wars, Citizen Kane or Gone With the Wind
but, obviously, they don't know Ice, they don't know him at all.
If ever there was a movie that proved the Oscars are a farce, it's Cool as Ice. It clearly got snubbed and I guess we'll never know why. The only reason I can fathom is the academy's fear of the Ice man's Day-glo clashing with the red carpet. Clearly the better solution would have been a Day-glo carpet.
Maybe I'm a little biased because I see so much of myself in Ice's character and the personal journey he embarks on in the film. I, too, am a complex, misunderstood white male, searching for identity and a good lawn on which to do the running man. I also have a way with words and a way with the ladies and, gosh darn it, I just love to impress country folk with my fly threads and dope moves on the dance floor, yep yep.
The script is a work of art and is destined to become a textbook example for its conflict, character development and subtext. I can't decide who the bigger genius is: The writer or Vanilla Ice, himself, because let's face it it's not just the lines but the delivery of them. "Lose the zero, get with the hero" - pure gold.
Do what ever it takes to see this film. Beg, borrow, steal or even buy it. For all those who still wear Day-glo clothing or caps with polished metal logos, who still shave lines into their eyebrows or just consider themselves romantics, Vanilla will reinforce what you already know: You are Cool as Ice. It's also a hell of a lot better than watching Vanilla on Celebrity Boxing, no really it is.
I hesitate to call this movie a really poor film, though don't get me
wrong it is quite bad. But I believe it falls into a totally new genre
of "crappy cult classics". When watching a film like Cool as Ice, I
find myself asking over and over again, Are they serious? Who wrote
this film? When they were writing the screenplay were they thinking:
Yes, this is gold!
Now though this film is horrible, I find it very quotable which I believe is a major factor in assessing the quality of a film. Lines like "drop that zero and get with a hero" are unforgettable and hilarious. This movie is actually better then 75% of the comedies that are released in the movies today which sometimes even do well in the box office. Such movies come stocked with cliché's and overused jokes and though may be good for a few cheap laughs, are hardly worth seeing. Cool as Ice however is humorous (though not on purpose) and I think can be appreciated by anyone who was growing up during the early 90's. It really sums up what early 1990's were all about. I admit that it may be a little embarrassing if someone were to stumble across this title in your movie collection but if you ever see this movie for sale at a yard sale, I would recommend buying it for the full 1.00 price tag. It is worth watching with friends for some good laughs. My friends and I always mention this movie when discussing movie trivia and pop culture of the last decade. It always makes us smile. And isn't that what you hope for in a good movie?
This film can only be described as brilliant. Cool As Ice is a cinematic tour de force, and it resonates with unique passion and joie de vivre. Every character is brimming with both gritty realism and inspired originality, while the script is simply the best to be penned since Chinatown. Expertly crafted with stunning visuals and sparse narrative, the film presents a fascinating interpretation, through the use of archetypal characters, of the age-old story of the uptown girl and the downtown man. The cinematography is refreshingly restrained, with the intriguing exception of the use of Vanilla Ice's leather jacket as a narrative device. The fresh threads contain numerous words, ranging from "Down by Law" (the name of a punk band), to Yep (1/2 of Ice's catch phrase), to "Sex me up." At relevant moments, the camera will dwell upon a particular word or expression, enhancing the cinematic experience dramatically. Although it is but one example of the film's innovative technique, this device is representative of the consistently inventive, moving and magnificent film. Already a well-respected movie, Cool As Ice will inevitably enter the annals of truly great cinema after sufficient time has past to permit its canonization.
I recall one interview with Vanilla Ice where he claimed to be the "James Dean of rap". If you find that hilarious, you will love(hate) this movie. Ice portrays a mentally retarded man who has delusions of being "cool". I won't go into details about the plot because there isn't one. If you were an adolescent in the late eighties this movie will bring back shameful memories of dancing to "Ice, Ice Baby" at your Middle School dances. I give this film a 1 out of 10, its awful! But you should still see it for your own amusement.
I've read a few of the reviews about this film and most of them are
pretty spot on. As a film it truly deserves to be rooted in the worst
100 list, terribly acting by the two *bad* cops, worse still by
straight laced Michael Gross - and the less said about Vanilla's acting
ability the better.
Worse than the acting is the absolutely hilarious Cameo by Naomi Campbell in the opening credits, who screams her way through a really really hideous song whilst dancing badly and constantly trying to brush her hair away from her face.
After this initial horrific all singing all dancing intro, some bint gives Vanilla her phone number just so that we're reminded how great Vanilla ice is, and then the film starts proper. At this point you're just recovering from the awfulness of the dark warehouse intro, and suddenly you're assaulted by the wildy vivid colours of... pretty much everything actually, it's a constant throughout the film that everything is just too vivid, its hard to explain, but once you've noticed it, its actually quite amusing.
This is pretty much how the film goes, just as you think you've seen the most awful scene in cinematic history, along comes another, worse one that manages to make the last one look average. A great example of this is the way that in the first couple of minutes, Vanilla 'bunny hops' his 250kg GSXR-1100 over a 5 foot high fence. An absolute classic moment in cinema which stays with you... kind of like syphillis.
But it's for all these reasons (and hundreds more) that you should watch this film. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I've never really been an advocate of the 'so bad it's good' school of thought, but I'll make an exception for this film. Not only have I seen it many times, but I bought it new from Amazon a little while ago so I can say I have an original copy. In years to come it will be completely priceless, such is the cult following of this shocking celluloid mistake.
I really would recommend that you see it, not because it's great, but just so you can appreciate how bad something can actually be, and how much of a complete freak of a movie this is.
I've never witnessed a scene in a movie which can compete with the pure hilarity of Vanilla dancing on his own, like a tw@t, outside the old people's house in his dayglo pants wearing his stupid jacket. I challenge anyone not to laugh outloud during this, and many other classic moments.
Deserves both 1 out of 10 as a film, and 10 out of 10 as a must see classic bomb.
For those too young to remember, Vanilla Ice was a malignant tumor growing
on the popular music scene ten years ago. Along with MC Hammer and Marky
Mark he pilfered and diluted black music to make it commercially acceptable
to middle-class white children. His flash-in-the-pan `attitude' eventually
fizzled away - but not before becoming the blueprint for every idiot bad-boy
pop star on top of the charts today.
Cut to ten years later, and the threat of an Ice comeback is unlikely. It's the perfect time to watch COOL AS ICE. The film bombed on release, and signaled the end was nigh for Vanilla Ice. Watching it today, the star reduced to a relic of inane pop history, the film becomes a candidate for the best worst film of all time.
Rebels and their motorcycles have a history on screen. They define the times. Marlon Brando was the quintessential bad boy when he rode into town as THE WILD ONE. Fast-forward fifteen years and history repeats: Fonda and Hopper rewrite the Hollywood rulebook in EASY RIDER.
In COOL AS ICE, the bad boy of rap rides into the suburbs with his all-black posse, ready to reap havoc on suburbia, right? Wrong. Ice's crew only reappear when director David Kellogg requires a cut-away shot. Even then, rather than scaring the local children, they're making peanut-butter sandwiches and watching TV. They sit around, waiting for Vanilla to get the girl.
The romantic sub-plot is a peach. She's the highest achieving student in town, but will she risk her future for Vanilla Ice? He's a self-educated poet of the street, although his actual words of wisdom somehow escape me at the moment. The sub-sub plot involves her father, who we are led to believe was the most honest cop on a corrupt force. Despite seemingly being transplanted back into the same community, he doesn't mind going on television so the bad guys can find him.
There's a few other sub-sub-sub plots of minimal concern, but no real story. It's a star vehicle resting on the shoulders of a ludicrously vain idiot. Fortunately, his fifteen minutes of fame and torture translates to a typically foolish ninety minutes. The most vain ego exercise in Hollywood history? Perhaps. All in vain? Definitely.
Right, I've seen this movie 10 times in one week, but i still dont get one
thing.....what does "shling a schlong" have to do with
And how did he jump the fence from a flat road?
And how does he keep changing jackets when he clearly doesn't take anything with him?
And why are there turntables in a 70's music bar?
And how does he drive through the second story of a house from the opposite direction on the ground?
Anyway, i have a lot more questions than this so to do me a service you had all better go out and borrow this movie..... You can see what production values REALLY MEAN (hem hem).
This movie gave me a happy man from start to finish it was perhaps the
greatest movie of all time. I would credit this movie with curing my
cancer and bringing down communism in Russia. I think that if Vanilla
Ice make another film it may very well cure AIDS!!! Vanilla Ice is not
only a great musical artist but could be the next DeNiro when it comes
I thought the movie was totally gerbilicous! I give it the Richard Gere thumbs up! I have loved Mr Kellogs directing from his PLAYBOY work to Inspector Gadget the man has an eye for directing great cinema. Forget Spielberg, Kellog is the MAN!!!
So you've just picked up Cool as Ice in the video store and you're thinking Vanilla Ice:The Movie...when you've stopped laughing,you'll be like that must be SOOOOOOOOO bad,and you know what?YOu would be 100% right,EXCEPT..its worse..it really is,even worse than the cover(see above)gives away.What were the movie people thinking?? You can almost imagine the conversation between the movie execs:''There's this rap guy Vanilla something,and hes had a (dubious)hit record and wants to make a movie,what can we do?'' ''I know,lets remake Rebel without a Cause,throw in some (C)rap and have Vanilla play the James Dean role'' That must have been exactly what they said because thats exactly what they did!!! This IS rebel without a cause,without the style,class,direction or charismatic leading man.The acting,plot(??)and overall quality of the film are all non existent.That said it doesn't score a big fat(''drop the'')ZERO for a couple of reasons.....1)It is VERY funny,if you've got the kind of sense of humour to find amusement in cheesy things from the past,that and the ridiculous cliff/flat top combination sported by Vanilla,with the ridiculous ''MC Hammer in a dye factory ''pants to match.Class.Also it scores points for the dialog,which is SOOO bad it is actually very funny,I'm still not sure if this was meant as a serious movie or not!LOL.But check the memorable quotes section above to see for yourself.Badly acted,badly scripted,and badly dressed,the central character is basically Vanilla Ice.Why bother giving the character or the movie a name,should have just called it Vanilla Ice.At least then you would get an idea of how bad it is!
This is probably one of the finest masterpieces ever created in the medium
of film. It has Vanilla Ice. He says "Yep Yep" a lot. And there's lots
RAD rap numbers and cheesy-ass dance scenes. And it's all mixed in with
most implausible and ridiculous romance I've ever witnessed. Plus an
ultra-crappy fight scene between Vanilla Ice and some, uh, bad guys. And
you wouldn't believe what this man can pull off with a motorcycle. Like
when he's going along this completely flat road, and suddenly FWOOSH! he
gets air and jumps over a fence, almost killing an innocent bystander
a horse (who later turns out to be the girl of his dreams). And then,
when you think the movie couldn't get worse... it does.
All you people who voted anything other than 1 should change your votes, so that this movie gets #1 on the worst movie list! Jeez. I know it's a "great" movie and all, but wouldn't be nice to see this movie be #1?
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