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Career Opportunities (1991) Poster

Quotes

Jim Dodge: [Jim to his dad] I'm getting a feeling that you want me out of your life.

Bud Dodge: I don't want you out of my life, I want you out of my house.

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[On his first day as Target janitor (night cleanup boy) Jim Dodge meets the Custodian, who points a rifle at him]

Custodian: Are you a slacker?

Jim Dodge: No... Presbyterian actually.

Custodian: What did you say? What did you say? Now I'm asking you a simple question: Are you lazy?

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Jim Dodge: Any little fraulein who expects anything more from me than a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of danger, and a great set of pectorals, she's lookin for a fall right on her ass.

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Officer Don: Mr. McClellan, do you ever have any family problems, you and your daughter?

Roger Roy McClellan: What the hell do you think this is?

Officer Don: You got a point.

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Gil Kinney: You know, if my foot could talk...

Nestor Pyle: Easy...

Gil Kinney: ...it would say, "May I please go up this geek's ass!"

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Josie: Big store.

Jim Dodge: Huge.

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Josie: And you're happy, you know, you're happy.

Jim Dodge: I'm not happy. I'm working nights, everybody thinks I'm a liar, my whole family's laughing at me... Reverend Harwell gave me the finger last week!

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Jim Dodge: I look at my high school yearbook, and I don't see four fabulous years. Actually, what I'm reminded of, is what it feels like to have my underwear yanked up my ass by some big football player with arms like telephone poles.

Josie: Okay, and where are those guys now?

Jim Dodge: [self-effacing] I know they're not working nights at Target, I can tell you that.

[aiming a playful slap at her shoulder]

Josie: [laughs] Yeah, you know, I look at my yearbook, and I see four fabulous years... that are gonna be the highlight of my life.

Jim Dodge: [into himself:] Here's what it's like. First, you feel a hand going down the back of your pants, and tighten around the elastic waistband, and then...

Josie: [into herself:] Highlight.

Jim Dodge: Sometimes I'd actually see stars.

Josie: [muttering to herself:] It's not gonna get any better.

Jim Dodge: [continuing] And if I was particularly unlucky, my shorts would, like, rip completely free, and I would get this really drastic fabric...

Josie: [bothered] Do you hear me?

Jim Dodge: Yeah.

Josie: I don't really care about a graphic description of a childhood prank.

Jim Dodge: Hey, that prank was a motif in my life.

Josie: You know, I'm... locked... in this store here... because I didn't have the guts to steal a skirt so that I could get arrested and embarrass my father in this... this stupid, desperate, childish, pathetic attempt to leave home.

[scoffs]

Josie: You have your underwear yanked up your ass. I have my entire life yanked up my ass!

[scoffing at herself]

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Jim Dodge: I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I've had dreams about you.

Josie: You've had dreams about me?

Jim Dodge: [defensively:] Not recently.

[shaking his head]

Jim Dodge: I've had... dreams about you in the past.

[blowing that off:]

Jim Dodge: I've had dreams about entire cheerleading squads, don't get me wrong.

[laughs]

Jim Dodge: Kid's stuff, you know. How about you?

Josie: Do I dream? It's about all I do.

[causing him to gaze at her in surprise]

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Josie: [after unusual dinner in supermarket] Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store?

Jim Dodge: [puffing cigar] I've got plenty of time.

Josie: It's a big store.

Jim Dodge: Huge.

Josie: Always smoke cigars?

Jim Dodge: I enjoy a good one after a fine meal. It settles the stomach.

Josie: You're the town liar, right?

Jim Dodge: [that strikes home hard, and he takes a while to recover from hurt] What?

Josie: I'm sorry, that... ah, that really came out wrong.

Jim Dodge: [scoffs] As if something like that could come out right.

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Jim Dodge: [to himself] She's so beautiful. And I'm the town liar.

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Josie: I don't think you see what I'm getting at.

Jim Dodge: I see what you're getting at. I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex and an appetite for home cooking. Don't forget, you are the indecisive shoplifter.

Josie: [elated jump] Yes! Exactly! I would do anything to be in your shoes.

Jim Dodge: These are Darnell's shoes.

Josie: You know, you have freedom, and you're not using it. It makes me sad.

Jim Dodge: Well, you have the collective wealth of the entire town, and you're trying to get yourself arrested, now that makes me sad.

Josie: It makes me sad too.

Jim Dodge: It's pretty stupid.

Josie: It's very stupid.

Jim Dodge: Are you serious? I mean, you haven't been drinking? This isn't the bottle talking?

Josie: No.

Jim Dodge: Then why don't you just talk to the guy?

Josie: For the same reason you can't leave home. I can't tell my father to go to hell.

Jim Dodge: Why not?

Josie: Because I don't want to be alone.

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Josie: Would you go with me somewhere?

Jim Dodge: Where?

Josie: Florida. Wyoming, Spain. It doesn't really matter, just away somewhere.

Jim Dodge: I'd love to. I just can't afford to be... capricious and carefree like yourself. I... I... I got to set my sights on something and then really go for it.

Josie: Like janitor?

Jim Dodge: It's a beginning. I... I'm looking at...

Josie: It's an end.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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