Memorable quotes for
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991) More at IMDbPro »

Grim Reaper: Don't overlook my butt, I work out all the time. And reaping burns a lot of calories.

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Ted: I can't believe Missy divorced your Dad, and married mine.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.

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Rufus: And very important, *do not* do your homework without wearing headphones. Repeat...

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[Evil Bill & Ted are holding the real Bill & Ted over a cliff]
Bill: Ted, we gotta do something!
Ted: Dudes, even though you're doing this, we... we...
Bill: We love you!
Ted: We love you!
Evil Bill, Evil Ted: Fags!

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Evil Ted: Aim for the cat, dude! Aim for the cat!

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Evil Ted: I got a full-on robot chubby.

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[Evil Robot Bill and Evil Robot Ted arrive at 1988]
Evil Bill: Not bad...
Evil Ted: Yeah. Let's make it bad.

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[Dead Bill S. Preston almost falls down when climbing around in Hell]
Dead Bill: Ted.
Dead Ted: Yeah?
Dead Bill: If I die, you can have my Megadeth collection.
Dead Ted: But, dude, we're already dead.
Dead Bill: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.

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Heaven's Gatekeeper: [to the Grim Reaper] Don't I know you?

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Grim Reaper: I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with the candlestick.
Dead Bill: Sorry, death, you lose! It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper: I said Plum!
Dead Ted: No way! You said Mustard! Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best three out of five!
Dead Ted: I don't believe this guy!

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Dead Ted: [to God] Keep up the good work.

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[Bill and Ted wakes up after having been dead a while. Bill picks out a worm from his ear]
Bill: Dinner's over, worm dude.

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Grim Reaper: [to The Smoker] See you real soon.

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Grim Reaper: A hit. You have sank my battleship!
Dead Bill, Dead Ted: Excellent! Yeah!
Dead Ted: I totally knew he put it in the J's, dude!
Dead Bill: Good thinking, Ted.
Grim Reaper: You must play me again.
Dead Bill: WHAT?
Grim Reaper: Um, best two out of three.
Dead Ted: No way!
Grim Reaper: Yes way.

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Bill: You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds!

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Ted: Dude, how are we gonna get out of this? We don't got any time!
Bill: Yeah we do, dude. Look, after we get away from this guy, we use the booth. We time travel back to before the concert and set up the things we need to get him now.

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Grim Reaper: [rapping] You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the reaper.

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Colonel Oates: You're not strong! You're silky boys! Silk comes from the butts of Chinese Worms!

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Dead Bill: Best of seven?
Grim Reaper: DAMN RIGHT!

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[falling down a really big hole]
Dead Bill: Hey, you wanna play 20 questions?
Dead Ted: Okay! I got one!
Dead Bill: Are you a mineral?
Dead Ted: Yeah!
Dead Bill: Are you a tank?
Dead Ted: Whoa! Yeah!

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[during séance. Bill and Ted are floating above Missy]
Missy: Spirits, can you hear me?
Dead Ted: Yeah. And we can totally see down your...
Dead Bill: Ted! That's your mom, dude!

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Dead Ted: Bill, what happened?
Dead Bill: Ted, we're dead, dude.
Dead Ted: No way!
Dead Bill: Yes way!

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Dead Bill: Ted, it's the Grim Reaper, dude!
Dead Ted: Oh. How's it hangin' Death?

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Bill: [stage introduction] And over here, our bass player, the Duke of Spook, the Doc of Shock, The Man with No Tan, please say hello to Death himself, the Grim Reaper.

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Evil Bill: I totally loogied on that good, dead me!

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Beelzebub: Choose your eternity!
Dead Ted: Choose your own, you fag!
[Ted is pushed against a wall by some evil force]
Dead Bill: You ugly, red, source of all evil!
[Bill is pushed against the same wall]

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Dead Bill: [after Bill and Ted have each experienced their own personal Hell] That was non-non-non-non-NON-Heinous!

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Evil Easter Bunny: Theodore! You made your little brother cry.

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Dead Bill: Ted?
Dead Ted: What?
Dead Bill: Don't "Fear the Reaper"!
[both of them do an air guitar]
Grim Reaper: I heard that.

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Ted: Dude!
Bill: What?
Ted: Hell sucks!
Bill: Definitely!

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Bill, Ted: Catch you later, God!

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Chuck De Nomolos: We are now transmitting on every television channel throughout the world!
English Family Member, English Family Member: My word.
Chuck De Nomolos: I want the whole universe to behold this transfer of power. No longer will our future society be based on the ideas and the music of these two fools! They will be based on my ideas, and my ideas alone!
[draws his gun on Bill and Ted]

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[first lines]
Chuck De Nomolos: It is time. They have reached the second crucial turning point in their destiny. Their message is about to reach millions. But, we will change all that. When our mission is successful, no longer will the world be dominated by the legacy of these two fools! No longer will we hear this.
[plays air guitar]
Chuck De Nomolos: We will stop them now! Brothers and sisters, are we ready?
[everybody cocks their guns]

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Station: Station!

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Ted: You are a most excellent scientist, Station.
Bill: Yeah! Plus, you got an excellently huge Martian butt!
Big Station: Station!

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Grim Reaper: [to God] They Melvined me.

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Dead Bill: [after seeing hell] We got totally lied to by our album covers, man.

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Young Bill: Granny S. Preston, Esquire. No way!

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[Bill and Ted fall into an abyss toward hell]
Bill, Ted: AAAAAAAAHHHH!
[they run out of breath, then pause and look around, still falling, not sure what to do]
Bill: AAAH...!
Bill, Ted: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Bill: Dude, this is a totally deep hole.
Ted: Yeah... now what?
Bill: I don't know.
[pause]
Bill: AAAH...!
Bill, Ted: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!

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Captain Logan: [being possesed by Dead Ted] Whoa. Okay, dudes... Oh, I mean, fellow policemen. My son, Ted Theodore Logan, and his friend Bill S. Preston, Esquire, have been murdered and replaced by evil robots from the future.
Dead Bill: You totally did it dude.
Captain Logan: [as Ted] I totally possesed my dad!
[both Bill and Captain Logan do air guitar]
Captain Logan: Okay. You gotta go over and arrest these robots so they don't ruin everything for me and Bill. Oh, I mean, uh, my son and Bill. And most importantly, they don't hurt the babes... The princesses.
[to himself]
Captain Logan: This isn't working.
[to dead Bill]
Captain Logan: Back me up dude.
Dead Bill: You got it dude.
[posses deputy James]
Deputy James: [being possesed by dead Bill] I totally believe you dude.
Captain Logan: [as Ted] Yeah!
[gives deputy James a high five]
Deputy James: [as Bill] Whoa, donuts!
Captain Logan: [as Ted] Whoa, excellent!
Deputy James: [as Bill] Savoring crallers.
Captain Logan: [as Ted] Yeah. I got real hungry being dead.
Deputy James: [as Bill] Yeah.
[the cops look at them weird]
Captain Logan: [as Ted] Bill, I don't think they believe us.
Deputy James: [as Bill] Well, we'll have to find somebody who will.
Dead Bill, Captain Logan: Catch ya later, cop dudes.

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Colonel Oates: Get down and give me infinity.
[Bill and Ted drop]
Colonel Oates: You stupid, pathetic, craven little cretins.
Colonel Oates: You petty, base, bully-bullocked bugger billies! You're not strong! You're silky-boys...
Dead Bill: Dude, there's no way I can possibly do infinity push-ups.
Dead Ted: Maybe if he lets us do them girly-style.

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