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"All I Want For Christmas" is a comedy about two New York City children who launch a hilarious scheme to get what they most want this holiday season. Ethan, a practical older brother, and adorable Hallie, who knows how to charm her way out of a difficult situation, are intent on spending Christmas with their parents, Catherine and Micheal, and grandmother Lillian. As Ethan and Hallie embark on their adventure, almost nothing goes exactly as they planned. Complicating things is a smarmy businessman named Toney Boer, who has taken an interest in Catherine. Ethan, meanwhile, is preoccupied with not only his parents' romantic dilemma, but also his own - one brought about by his new friendship with Stephanie, his first teenage crush. What evolves is an elaborate scheme involving mice, telephone calls and an ice-cream truck, as Ethan and Hallie try to achieve their goal with the help of Stephanie. The duo's primary obstacle is their mother's fiance, Tony. The children finally succeed with a... Written by
"All I Want For Christmas" was uniformly trashed by critics when it came out. It was easily one of the worst reviewed films of 1991. Why oh why didn't I listen to them?
The plot is so generic that you know how it's going to end within the first ten minutes. Two parents are no longer together. The mother has found a new boyfriend. The kids do what they can to ditch the new boyfriend and get the parents back together. With that stale of a plot, the only way it could've worked out would have been if the acting was filled with passion and the direction evoked as much Christmas magic as possible. That didn't happen.
There is not a single heartfelt moment to be found in this film. Not one. I don't even know where to begin. Thora Birch has turned out to be an impressive actress. However, she is only grating and precocious to the extreme in "All I Want For Christmas". Her brother, played by Ethan Embry, had no character definition whatsoever. His substory involving a teenage romance was underdeveloped and seemed better suited for another film.
The adult characters are just as bad. The filmmakers could've saved money by utilizing cardboard cutouts instead of actual actors. The Mom, Dad, and Mom's new "jerk" boyfriend are shallower than a kiddie pool.
I was even put off by the shameless plugging of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. It's a sad fact that product placement has been commonplace for a long time now but...come on! Don't they understand that if the product is shoved in your face that it only serves as an unpleasant distraction? At least their Coca-Cola placement was slightly less obvious.
Even Santa would only give this movie to the naughty kids. 1/10
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