[Said at the beginning of each episode]
Earl Sinclair: Honey, I'm home!
Fran: Maybe I've learned something today. Good parenting does come from here
[points to heart]
Fran: but when you need a little help, you can find it here
[points to parenting manual]
Earl: Gee, now there's something you don't see on TV.
Baby: [hitting Earl with a bottle] Not the mama, not the mama, not the mama.
Earl: I really wish you'd grow out of this.
[Earl wants a raise]
B.P. Richfield: Sinclair, you dog. Twenty-five years you've been working here and I never thought you'd have the guts to take me on! But take me on, you do, mano e mano, man to man. That's guts-balls, Sinclair. I like a guy with guts-balls. LIKE HIM!
[slams the sides of his trailer]
B.P. Richfield: So I guess I'm gonna have to take your little ultimatum seriously.
Earl: Oh I do hope so, sir.
B.P. Richfield: Cuz the someone who puts a gun to my head...
Earl: Oh n-no, sir.
B.P. Richfield: ...MUST BE PREPARED TO BACK UP HIS THREAT! So I'm gonna ask you, d'ya want a raise or what?
Earl: ...uh... or what, sir.
B.P. Richfield: What puts you in the position to ask for more money?
Earl: Well sir, I have a growing family, who I need more money to take care of.
B.P. Richfield: Well, Where is this my fault?
Earl: I'm not blaiming you, sir.
B.P. Richfield: THEN WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR FAMILY!
Earl: I'm only asking for more money, sir.
B.P. Richfield: No, the way I see it is, you don't need more money, you need less family!
Earl: But I love my family!
B.P. Richfield: Well obviously you do, since you're willing to lose your job for them.
B.P. Richfield: You face me down, asking me for more money. I ain't gonna give it to ya. So ya got no alternative but to look me in the eye and say...
Earl: [leaving] I'm sorry.
B.P. Richfield: ...I QUIT!
Earl: I quit?
B.P. Richfield: Oh, sorry to lose ya, Sinclair, after all these years.
Earl: But sir I like this company. I always dreamed I'd go somewhere with this company.
B.P. Richfield: No dreams, Sinclair. No dreams for you. You are what you are and that's all you're ever gonna be. Except not with this company. Best thing for you to do is realize that now. You'll thank me.
Earl: But sir...
B.P. Richfield: THANK ME!
Earl: uh th-thank you, sir.
Earl: Good morning, my family who loves me.
Baby: Not the mama.
Earl: All right, that ends right now. I've had it up to here with this "not the mama". I am not "not the nama", I'm your daddy, and you only get one, buster, and that's what you're gonna call me. Daddy. Now say "Daddy".
Earl: Say "Daddy".
[Baby still refuses]
Earl: Okay, all right, all right. Say "da".
Earl: Say "dee".
Earl: [chuckles] Fran!
Earl: He loves me, listen to him!
Baby: Daddy, Daddy!
Baby: Daddy, Da-Daddy, Da-Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. NOT THE MAMA!
Fran: How much can a tutor cost, Earl?
Earl: The same amount as a 90 inch TV screen, because that's the way my life works.