(1991–1999)

Episode List

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Season 7

26 Feb. 1998
Perfect Day
Jenny thinks she has got her A-level results but it is a prank played on her by David so she gets her own back,leaving him with his hair dyed bright green. Rona asks Bill to entertain an old friend but when the woman turns up she witnesses a row when Bill accuses Ben of spending the family's holiday money on a replica of Lady Penelope's car from 'Thunderbirds'. In the event the friend rings to say she was unable to turn up and the woman turns out to be from Social Services,vetting Rona's adoption suitability and concluding she is too old. At least Jenny finds her ...
 
5 Mar. 1998
When Saturday Comes
Ben's team Spurs are on a losing streak and must win their last three games to avoid relegation. Despite Bill having given Ben's 'lucky' underpants to the charity shop the team wins so Ben insists that on the next match day everybody behaves exactly the same as they did on the previous Saturday - including Jenny and Clive splitting up as she is going to university. He is so confident he places a bet to say that if Spurs lose the family will dress as the Spice Girls and sing in public. Come the final Saturday Jenny and Clive decide not to split after all,the team loses...
 
12 Mar. 1998
Malcolm X
Tired of being taken for granted by the family Bill agrees to spend a weekend in Scotland with old flame Malcolm,now a big name in Hollywood. Rona covers for her,saying that she is staying with a former school-friend but Ben,watching a golf tournament in Scotland on television,sees Bill and Malcolm in the crowd. He tracks them down and travels to their hotel in Scotland,head-butting Malcolm. Then Malcolm's wife turns up and Bill,unaware that he was married,pushes Malcolm into a fountain.
 
19 Mar. 1998
The Sweet Hereafter
Whilst out shopping Ben meets a female market researcher,who,deciding that the Porters are a typical family,gives him a box of foodstuffs to sample. Most of them are unpopular but,to Bill's annoyance,Ben,Jenny and David cannot stop stuffing themselves with 'Drool' chocolate bars to the extent that next morning they are too full for breakfast but are still anxious for more Drool bars so Ben returns to the precinct to ask for some. However the market researcher tells him that they have been withdrawn from circulation for being psychologically addictive and potentially ...
 
26 Mar. 1998
When Did You Last See Your Father
Jenny is now at university and David has a strange Goth girlfriend Maxine with psychic powers,who prophesies a strange visitor. And she is right. Bette tells Bill that her late husband was not cremated but put in cryogenic suspension in a warehouse in Bermondsey. Unfortunately on arrival the family finds the warehouse is closing down and they have to keep the coffin overnight at their house before another company can remove it. There are strange noises to be heard whilst,even when the body has been collected,another of Maxine's predictions comes true.
 
2 Apr. 1998
The Italian Job
The Porters welcome David's Italian pen-friend Fabrizio,a handsome ladies' man who charms Rona but annoys Ben by hogging the settee and borrowing his car without asking. Soon Bill is also angry when Fabrizio - who has a string of credit cards - encourages David to spend his savings and she gives him a piece of her mind. However Ben has discovered that Fabrizio's father is a feared Mafia don and,when dark-suited men bearing violin cases,knock on the door he and Bill and David decide to hide from them. Too bad they failed to stay around to find out that are merely ...
 
9 Apr. 1998
The Heart Has Its Reasons
Ben and Bill drop Jenny off at university,Ben being shocked to find his daughter has a connecting room to Keith,a boy who seems not to wear clothes. On the way home a gang of children rob Ben's van and he catches one of them,ten-year old Declan,who escapes but later tracks the family down and returns some of the stolen items. Declan tells them that he is homeless and his mother abandoned him so soft-hearted Bill lets him stay over,with a view to giving him a permanent home. Next day the Porters find they have been burgled and Declan has disappeared though he soon ...
 

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Episode Cast | Rated Episodes (by date / vote)| TV Schedule

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