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Lula: Cheez Louise! Sailor, baby, you're really somethin'!

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Lula: That Johnnie is one clever detective. You know how clever?

Sailor: How clever?

Lula: He told me once he could find an honest man in Washington.

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Sailor: Rockin' good news.

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Lula: This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top.

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Sailor: Did I ever tell ya that this here jacket represents a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom?

Lula: About fifty thousand times.

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Idiot Punk: You look like a clown in that stupid jacket.

Sailor: This is a snakeskin jacket! And for me it's a symbol of my individuality, and my belief... in personal freedom.

Idiot Punk: Asshole.

Sailor: C'mere.

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Bob Ray Lemon: Marietta tells me you been tryin to fuck her in the toilet for the past ten minutes... How 'bout that, tryin to fuck your girl's mama... Tell me, what's that little cunt Lula think about that?

Sailor: Uh-oh.

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Lula: One of these days the sun's gonna come up and burn a hole clean through the planet like a giant electrical x-ray.

Sailor: I wouldn't worry about that, Peanut. By then people'll prob'ly be drivin Buicks to the moon.

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Marietta Fortune: [stumbling into men's room with a martini] Yoo-hoo! Sailor boy! How would you like to fuck Lula's momma?

Sailor: Uh, no ma'am, I sure don't...

Marietta Fortune: Lula's momma would like to fuck you. Come on.

Sailor: Ms. Fortune, I really think you need a cup of coffee. I really do.

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OO Spool: My dog barks, some. Mentally you picture my dog, but I have not told you the type o' dog which I have. Perhaps you might even picture Toto... from "The Wizard of Oz." But I can tell you, my dog is all ways with me. ARF!

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Lula: Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt.

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Lula: You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt.

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Sailor: Man, I had a boner with a capital "O".

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Bobby Peru: Say it! I'll tear your fuckin' heart out, girl!

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Marietta Fortune: Buffalo hunting? I've gone buffalo huntin'? What the fuck does that mean? Buffalo huntin'!

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Lula: It's Night of the Livin' fuckin' Dead!

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Sailor: I'd like to apologize to you gentlemen for referring to you all as homosexuals. You taught me a valuable lesson in life.

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Cousin Dell: I'm making my lunch!

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Bobby Peru: Ya know, I sure do like a girl with nice tits like yours who talks tough and looks like she can fuck like a bunny. Do you fuck like that? Cause if ya do, I'll fuck ya good. Like a big ol' jackrabbit bunny, jump all around that hole. Bobby Peru don't come up for air.

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Sailor: She turns over, peels off them orange pants, spreads her legs real wide and says to me..."Take a bite of Peach."

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Bobby Peru: Speaking of Jack, One eyed Jack's yearning to go a peeping in a seafood store!

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Sailor: Stab it and steer.

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[Sailor's gun doesn't fire]

Bobby Peru: It's full of dummies, dummy!

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Sailor: [to Lula] The way your head works is God's own private mystery.

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Bobby Peru: I gotta take a piss bad, can I use your head?

Lula: Uh... yeah, I guess.

Bobby Peru: I don't mean your head-head. I'm not gonna piss on your head, your hair and all, I'm just gonna piss in the toilet. Y'all take a listen, you'll hear the deep sound comin' down from Bobby Peru.

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Sailor: Those toenails dry yet, sweetheart? We got some dancin' to do.

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Lula: When'd you start smoking, Sail?

Sailor: I guess I started smoking when I was about... four. My momma was already dead then from lung cancer.

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Bobby Peru: Say cheese!

[Shoots bank employee]

Sailor: Cool it man!

Bobby Peru: You're next... fucker!

[Sailor's gun doesn't fire]

Bobby Peru: Those are... dummies... dummy!

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Sailor: [Sailor talking about Lula's Cousin Dell] Too bad he couldn't visit that old Wizard of Oz, and get some good advice.

Lula: Too bad we all can't baby.

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Marietta Fortune: The fuckah split!

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Good Witch: Don't turn away from love, Sailor.

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Girl in Accident: [shocked and bleeding] I got bobby pin...

[showing a bobby pin]

Girl in Accident: It was bobby pin...

Girl in Accident: [looking for her wallet in her pocket] I can't find it. My mother's gonna kill me. It's got all my cards in it, and it was in my pocket, and now my pocket's gone. Gotta help me find it, my mother's gonna kill me. It's got all my cards in it, and it was in my pocket. It was in my pocket...

[shouting]

Girl in Accident: My purse is gone! My purse is gone, now she tells me!

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Sailor: That ain't never will happen, baby. Least not in our lifetime.

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Bobby Peru: My name's Bobby Peru, like the country.

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Bobby Peru: Sing. Don't cry.

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Marcelles Santos: You want me to shoot Sailor... in the brains... with a gun?

Marietta Fortune: Yes.

Marcelles Santos: In the forehead?

Marietta Fortune: Yes.

Marcelles Santos: Wrong. It's always better to blow a hole through the back of the head, right through to the bridge of the nose. Lots of irreparable brain damage.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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