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Spaced Invaders (1990) Poster

Quotes

Giggywig: Look, when a vastly superior alien culture comes all this way to take over your world, certain basic laws of planetary conquest apply. For example, when someone points a Quad Vectored Hypo Thermic Cosmo Blaster at you, it's a fair bet you are about to become toast.

Mrs. Vanderspool: Will you please sit down and be quiet?

Giggywig: Or perhaps in your case, a whole loaf of toast.

[after crash-landing]

Blaznee: Well, let's see. We got a torqued-out digi-framus, our mega-spaz redundancy pile is on the blink, and it looks like we bruised our boo-boo.

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Deputy Pillsbury: No license, no registration, no plates, no headlights, no taillights, no WHEELS, and I caught you going 3000 miles per hour. That's

[punches on calculator]

Deputy Pillsbury: 2945 miles per hour in excess of the posted limit.

Blaznee: Great. There goes my insurance.

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Blaznee: Kids, 3D and driving don't mix.

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Captain Bipto: Meet us at the Wrenchmuller farm. Bipto out.

Blaznee: Hey, where do you guys grow your wrenchmullers?

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Captain Bipto: We did win, didn't we?

Blaznee: No, but if we think fast enough we might just live to lie about it.

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Pez: "Prepare to die, Earth scum. Prepare to die, Earth scum." I'm gonna make sure they carve that on your tombstone!

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Pez: The humans are coming! The humans are coming!

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Kathy: But, Dad, they're not really bad, they're just... stupid.

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Giggywig: I'm telling you that ship has got the flight potential of a cement truck.

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Martian Soldier: Sir, the Arcturans have destroyed the remainder of the fleet. I sent a distress signal to all ships across the galaxy, BUT we're headed straight into their sun, and our engines are about to explode.

Enforcer Drone: I have not yet begun to fight.

Martian Soldier: Now would be a great time to start.

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Blaznee: [singing] Oh give me a home / Where the asteroids roam

BlazneeCaptain BiptoDr. Ziplock: And the gleebs and the buzzy mugs play / Where gravity's low / And the water is snow / And the desert winds blow you away / Mars, Mars is my home / Where everyone's short just like me / I wish I was where / There is not so much air / And two moons to shine down upon me.

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[trying to explain to Captain Bipto that their invasion has failed]

Giggywig: Let me sum up the entire situation in a nutshell: there are five of us, and four billion of them. They have Strategic Air Command, nuclear powered submarines, and John Wayne. We have this.

[holds up a small rifle]

Captain Bipto: Is it loaded?

[points the rifle at Bipto]

Giggywig: Let's find out!

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Blaznee: Maybe, you'd better step back and get the big picture here.

Deputy Pillsbury: Okay...

[He steps back, and triggers the homemade booby trap]

Deputy Pillsbury: I've just made a terrible mistake, haven't I?

Blaznee: Ain't life a bitch?

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[the sheriff watches a surveillance tape as the "War of the Worlds" broadcast on the radio finishes - he pauses it and sees the Martian spaceship flying past]

Orson Welles: So if your doorbell rings, and nobody's there, that was no Martian. It's Halloween.

Sheriff Sam Hoxly: You wanna bet?

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Captain Bipto: What do you make of it, Doctor?

Dr. Ziplock: Well, it's long, flat, and has yellow lines on it; that can only mean one thing ...

Giggywig: A minefield!

Dr. Ziplock: I was going to say, "a country road."

Giggywig: That's what they want us to think. Let me tell you something: one false move and kaboom! You'll be going home in several more pieces than you arrived.

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Blaznee: But, why? Why would Mars want to attack the puny, insignificant forces of Earth?

Others: [All together] Because we'd win!

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Blaznee: Just for the record ...

Enforcer Drone: I'm listening.

Blaznee: I thought this was a bad idea.

Enforcer Drone: Just for the record, you'd better hope not.

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Pez: Who died and left you in charge?

Giggywig: Captain Bipto!

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Giggywig: You take the left flank and I'll take the right.

Pez: You always get the right flank!

Giggywig: We've never done this before, idiot!

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Captain Bipto: What's the problem? Just vaporise; everyone, everything, boof, mission accomplished, medals, awards, a parade, next!

Giggywig: No! Wrong! False! None of the above! Why: because we're not supposed to be here!

Captain Bipto: What?

Giggywig: We goofed, we erred, we misinterpreted the data at hand!

Blaznee: Told ya so.

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Blaznee: The hyperfusion feedback governor, back on the ship, just had a meltdown. If we don't get back to zero gravity within the next, ohh, hour, the ship's hyperdrive will implode, creating an ever expanding hole in the space-time continuum, making you, me, and the rest of this galaxy, some other universe's problem.

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Dumb Guy #1: What the hell is that?

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Dr. Ziplock: Do something, you're the pilot!

Blaznee: How about if I eject?

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[after Captain Bipto has been run down by a speeding pickup truck]

Mrs. Vanderspool: Allright children, look both ways before crossing the street.

Giggywig: If only Captain Bipto had known!

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Pez: "Prepare to die, Earth scum! Prepare to die, Earth scum!" I'm gonna make sure they carve that on your tombstone!

Giggywig: Aaaaaaah, SHUT UP!

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Pez: Who taught you to drive, ya moron?

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[while the townspeople are firing at the "Farmzoid," piloted by the mind-controlled Verne]

Deputy Pillsbury: Verne, you come down from there right now, you hear?

Vern: Yes, shoot, my little friends, shoot! Fire everything you've got! The Farmzoid is impervious! AH-HA-HA-HA!

Deputy Pillsbury: All right, that's it! Mom's gonna hear about this!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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