Der Skipper (1990)

A washed-out German sailor, in a drunken state, agrees to take two British women from Gibraltar to the West Indies in his sail boat. Early into the voyage, they realise that it's not going ... See full summary »

Director:

Peter Keglevic

Writer:

Peter Keglevic

Stars:

Jürgen Prochnow, Patsy Kensit, Elizabeth Hurley

Cast

Complete credited cast:
Jürgen Prochnow	...	The Skipper
Patsy Kensit	...	Su
Elizabeth Hurley	...	Lou
Franz Buchrieser	...	Owner 'California'
Grazyna Szapolowska	...	Mona
Carmel S. Aquilina	...	Port Captain
Manuel Cauchi	...	1. Official
John Suda	...	2. Official
Elton Mamo	...	Boy in 'California'
Mario Stock	...	Paul Pelikan
John Ciantar	...	Waiter
Kimba	...	Willie the Dog

Storyline

A washed-out German sailor, in a drunken state, agrees to take two British women from Gibraltar to the West Indies in his sail boat. Early into the voyage, they realise that it's not going to be plain sailing.

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Plot Keywords:

sailor | sailing | gibraltar | boat | drunkenness | 

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Genres:

Adventure | Drama | Thriller

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Certificate:

R

Details

Country:

West Germany

Language:

German English

Release Date:

5 April 1990 (West Germany)

Also Known As:

Adrift: Murder at Sea

Filming Locations:

Gibraltar

Company Credits

Production Co:

Rialto Film, Rocket Pictures

Technical Specs

Runtime:

98 min

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

User Reviews

So Bad It Hurts

I'm not sure what I expected from a film starring two of the worst actresses ever to (dis)grace the silver screen, but Kill Cruise is even worse than I could have imagined. This is possibly the first thriller without any thrills. In fact, it should be re-named "Two Irritating Slappers Stuck On A Yacht".

The film begins promisingly. Patsy Kensit (Su) and Liz Hurley (Lou) perform an appalling musical number in a club and then Liz performs an impromptu strip, flashing her boobs. Unfortunately, the comedy ends there. Su and Lou pick up a drunken German skipper (an embarrassed looking Juergen Prochnow) for what I assume was a threesome and decide to sail with him to Bermuda. Shortly into the trip, Su becomes jealous of the relationship developing between Lou and the skipper and generally behaves like an idiot. This jealousy then escalates into general insanity.

Kill Cruise doesn't even have the decency to be a mildly amusing "Dead Calm" rip off. That film exploited the claustrophobic atmosphere of a yacht to magnificent effect. Kill Cruise doesn't even bother, in fact nothing really happens. The most thrilling moment is probably when everyone falls asleep and the ship hits some empty oil barrels. Now that will have you on the edge of your seat. The finale itself is so anti-climactic that it borders on being shameful. The twist is utterly nonsensical and the epilogue is so stupid and irrelevant that it almost defies belief.

The only reason I give this film 3 stars instead of 1 is out of sympathy for Juergen Prochnow, who does his best despite the ridiculous material that he has to work with. The only other thing the film has going for it is the opportunity to laugh at the amazing lack of acting ability displayed by Liz and Patsy. What a sorry pair.

Kill Cruise really is an exercise in futility. If you are going to make a thriller, please provide some thrills. And if you are going to disguise your dull epic as a "character study", then at least flesh out the characters and try to make their actions vaguely believable. This is one cruise you will be happy to skip.