Memorable quotes for
The Rescuers Down Under (1990) More at IMDbPro »

McLeach: I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
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McLeach: Joanna! Did you know there was a razorback in my truck? Did ya?
[Joanna nods]
McLeach: DID ya?
[Joanna shakes her head]
McLeach: THERE WAS A RAZORBACK IN MY TRUCK! Now, you quit playing around and do your job, you four-legged python!
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McLeach: [singing to tune of "Home on the Range] Home, home on the range / Where the critters are tied up in chains / I cut through their sides / and I rip off their hides / and the next day I do it again. Everybody!
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McLeach: [dangling Cody over a river of crocodiles] Are ya ready, boy? It's time ya learned how to fish for crocs. They like it when you use live bait, and you're as live as they come.
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McLeach: [lowering Cody into Crocodile Falls] Now, this is my idea of fun.
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McLeach: It's all over, boy. Your bird's dead. Someone shot her. Shot her, right out of the sky. Bang!
Cody: No!
McLeach: What do you mean no? You calling me a liar? I heard it on the radio this morning, and she could have been mine if it wasn't for you. Now you better get out of here before I change my mind. G'on, git!
Bernard: Why is he letting him go?
Jake: It's gotta be a trick.
McLeach: Too bad about those eggs, eh, Joanna? They won't survive without their mother. Oh, well. Survival of the fittest, I guess.
[Cody runs off]
McLeach: Bingo.
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Miss Bianca: Oh, Captain. Is this a non-stop flight to Australia?
Wilbur: Well, uh, not exactly. No. I can definitely say no. We're gonna have to make connections with a bigger bird. Non-stop? Who do I look like, Charles Lindbergh?
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Wilbur: Throw another shrimp on the barbie, girls, 'cause here I come!
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Wilbur: Oh, I feel like I got my head in a vice.
[camera pulls back; Wilbur's head really is in a vice]
Wilbur: [whimpering] Oh.
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Cody: My mom will call the Rangers!
McLeach: [faking fear] Oh, no! Not the Rangers. What'll I do? What'll I do? Don't let your ma call the Rangers, please!
[McLeach tosses Cody's backpack in the water, where crocodiles attack it]
McLeach: My poor baby boy got eaten by the crocodiles. Boo-hoo-hoo.
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Bernard: [to a razorback] Now, look! I've got a long way to go. You're, you're gonna take me there, and you're not gonna give me any trouble about it, right?
[razorback shakes head]
Bernard: Good! Now git!
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Jake: So, um, which way are taking, uh, Suicide Trail through Nightmare Canyon, or the shortcut at Satan's Ridge?
Bernard: Su-Suicide Trail?
Jake: Good choice. More snakes, but less quicksand. Then once you cross Bloodworm Creek, you're scot free, that is until, um... Dead Dingo Pass.
Bernard: [sees that the map has nothing but landscapings] Wa-wa-wait a minute, I don't-I don't see any-any of that-that stuff on the map.
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Cody: There must be a way out of here.
Krebbs: Oh, there's a way out, all right.
Red, Frank: There is?
Krebbs: [to Red] Absolutely! YOU'LL go as a wallet,
[to platypus]
Krebbs: YOU'LL go as a belt, and our dear Frank...
Frank: No, no, no! I don't want to hear it!
Krebbs: Frank will go as...
Frank: I can't hear you!
[covers ears while singing nonsense; stops to see if Krebbs is done]
Krebbs: A purse.
Frank: Oh, no!
Krebbs: Oh, a lovely lady's purse.
Frank: I don't want to go as a purse! Please, please don't let him do it!
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Miss Bianca: [whilst Wilbur drinks from a can of cream soda] We must leave tonight.
Wilbur: [spit takes] Tonight?
[coughs; laughs]
Wilbur: Come on. You're kiddin' me, right?
[laughs; opens his window]
Wilbur: Have ya looked outside? It's suicide out there!
[laughs; closes window]
Wilbur: Oh, no. Ohhhhhhh, no! I'm afraid your jolly little holiday will have to wait.
[laughs]
Wilbur: What a bunch of jokers!
Miss Bianca: But you don't understand. A boy needs our help. He's in trouble!
Wilbur: Boy? You mean, little kid kinda boy?
Miss Bianca: He was kidnapped!
Wilbur: Kidnapped? Oh! That-that's awful! Lockin' up a little kid. Kids should be free! Free to run wild through the house on Saturday mornings, free to have cookies and milk, and get those little white mustaches, you know?
[lividly]
Wilbur: Nobody's gonna take a kid's freedom away while I'm around! Nobody ain't! Hear me?
Miss Bianca: Does that mean you'll take us?
Wilbur: Storm or no storm, Albatross Airlines...
[salutes]
Wilbur: at your service!
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Wilbur: Welcome to "Albatross Air: A Fair Fare From Here to There." You get it? "A fair fare." It's-It's a play on... never mind.
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McLeach: Say, where'd you get this pretty feather, boy?
Cody: It was a present.
McLeach: Aw, that's real nice. Who gave it to ya?
Cody: It's a... secret.
McLeach: That's no secret, boy.
McLeach: [pulls out tattered feather]
McLeach: You see, I already got the father.
McLeach: [makes throat-slashing gesture]
McLeach: Now you just tell me where Mama and those little eggs are.
Cody: No!
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[Jake, Bernard and Bianca are digging into McLeach's lair]
Jake: Has anyone considered trying "Open Sesame"?
[the door opens, the other two yell in shock and start gripping it as it rises]
Jake: Hey, it worked!
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Miss Bianca: Now, now, Cody. We mustn't lose hope. Bernard is still out there.
Jake: That's right! If anyone can get us out of this scrape it's ol' Berno.
Jake: [aside to Bianca] Nice bluff, Miss B.
Miss Bianca: I wasn't bluffing. You don't know Bernard like I do. He'll never give up.
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[Last lines, Wilbur is still at Marahute's nest]
Wilbur: Help! Anybody! Bernard! Bianca! Where are you? Okay, that's it. I'm outta here. This is ridiculous. You can't leave me here alone. I'm gone. I am gone!
[the eggs start hatching]
Wilbur: Oh, no. Stay in those eggs! That's a direct order. Hey, you're kind of a cute little feller. Cootchie cootchie coo...
[eaglet bites him]
Wilbur: YEOW! WHOA! OHHHH!
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Doctor: I've already missed tea, Mr. Albatross. Don't force me to take drastic measures. You must relax.
Wilbur: Relax? I have never been more relaxed in my life! If I were any more relaxed, I'd be dead!
Doctor: I'm not convinced. 60 milligrams!
Nurse Mouse: 60 milligrams!
[Loads a syringe of tranquilizer onto a shotgun]
Wilbur: What? Are you guys crazy? You can't do this to me! I'm an American citizen, buddy!
Doctor: Better double it.
Wilbur: Double?
Nurse Mouse: Double, coming up!
[Loads a second syringe]
Wilbur: No!
Doctor: Prepare the patient for medication.
Wilbur: This can't be happening! I must be dreaming! Come on, Wilbur, wake up! Come on!
Doctor: Three degrees right!
Nurse Mouse: Three degrees right!
Doctor: Down two degrees!
Wilbur: No! Don't go down two degrees!
Nurse Mouse: Down two degrees!
Doctor: Ready...
Wilbur: No, I'm not ready!
Doctor: Aim...
Wilbur: [Whimpers] Please don't do this to me!
Doctor: Fire!
[Gunshot]
Wilbur: AAHH, WHOA! OH, WHOA!
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Miss Bianca: Oh, Bernard. You are magnificent. You are absolutely hero of the day.
Bernard: Miss Bianca, before anything else happens... will you marry me?
Miss Bianca: Oh, Bernard! Of course I will!
Jake: Well done, mate.
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Miss Bianca: Come on, darling. Let's get a move out.
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Wilbur: Wait a minute. What the heck are you doing up here?
Bernard: The kidnapper took the boy and Jake... and Miss Bianca.
Wilbur: Miss Bianca? Miss Bianca's in trouble? Oh, no! That's terrible! We gotta do something. I'm very disappointed in you, Bernard. Hiding under a nest while Bianca's in danger. Let me tell you something, buddy!
Bernard: Wilbur...
Wilbur: You-you-you start searchin' the desert for, and I-I-I'll scan the coastline. Yeah, that's what I'll do.
Bernard: Wilbur...
Wilbur: I'll ask the chicks on the beach to...
Bernard: Wilbur!
Wilbur: Huh? What?
Bernard: Listen. There are some chicks here that need your help.
Wilbur: Really?
[Bernard sits on Marahute's eggs]
Wilbur: Oh, no! Wait a minute. I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. Don't even- No! Don't look at me like that. You're getting no from me! No! I will not ever sit on those eggs!
[Cut to Wilbur sitting on eggs]
Wilbur: Aw, nuts. I gotta learn to be more assertive. No is no is no. Hey - quit movin' in there.
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Doctor: Forceps!
Nurse Mouse: Forceps!
Wilbur: Oh, what now?
Doctor: Spinal streculator!
Wilbur: Oh, that's gonna hurt.
Doctor: Artery router!
Wilbur: Mother!
Doctor: This is rusted tight. I wouldn't dream of using such tools. Bring me the epidermal tissue disrupter!
Wilbur: The epidermal what?
[the nurses start a chainsaw]
Wilbur: OH! OH, NO! AAAH!
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Frank: I've got it! All we've got to do is get the keys!
Krebbs: Oh, is that all? Well, then we've better start packing our bags.
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McLeach: [realizes he has one less egg] Did you take one of my eggs?
[Joanna, with an egg in her shut mouth, shakes her head no]
McLeach: Open your mouth.
[Joanna opens her mouth, moving the egg on her tongue to the side and hiding it from McLeach's view]
McLeach: These are NOT... Joanna Eggs!
[he closes the egg box]
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Bernard: Miss Bianca, from now on, can't we just take the train?
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Bernard: [Thinking of his marriage proposal] Bianca, there's something I need to talk to you about...
Miss Bianca: [Unaware of Bernard's plan to propose, she speaks about the upcoming mission] It's all right, Bernard. I already know what you are going to say. Francois told me all about it.
Bernard: Francois? But how did he know?
Miss Bianca: It doesn't matter. I think it's a wonderful idea.
Bernard: You do? You mean, you really want to?
Miss Bianca: I don't think it's a matter of wanting, but a matter of duty.
Bernard: Du-duty? Well, I never thought of it... Well, okay, how does... next April sound?
Miss Bianca: Heavens, no! We must act immediately, tonight!
Bernard: To-tonight? But Bianca, this is so sudden, I mean... don't you at least need... a gown or something?
Miss Bianca: No, just a couple of khaki shorts and some hiking boots.
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McLeach: [in an attempt to feed Cody to the crocodiles by using a rifle] Well, there's more than one way to skin a cat.
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Doctor: [as Wilbur escapes] Mr. Albatross, we haven't operated yet!
Wilbur: [running away] You've gotta catch me first, doctor!
Doctor: Mr. Albatross, please!
Wilbur: Cowabunga!
Doctor: [chases after him] Mr. Albatross, we must return you to the operating room!
Wilbur: [escapes to the window] You'll never take me alive!
Doctor: [he and the other nurse mice try to force him back in] Please, don't do this! Your spine needs tender...
Wilbur: [getting forced in] Ooh!
Doctor: ...loving...
Wilbur: [screams in pain] AGH!
Doctor: ...care!
[Wilbur gets forced in]
Wilbur: [groans until he smiles] M-my back!
[Wilbur stands up as we see the doctor is now in serious pain]
Wilbur: [laughs] I can-I-it works! I'm cured!
Doctor: [in pain] My back!
[his back cracks]
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McLeach: [Catches Joanna stealing his eggs] Got your hand caught in the cookie jar, didn't ya? Who do you think you're messin' with, you dumb animal? My mental facilities are twice what yours are, ya pea brain!
[Opens the box to find it empty; Joanna hides]
McLeach: Joanna. I give you platypus eggs, I give you snake eggs, why, I'll even give you eagle eggs, but you stay away from MY... The eagle's eggs! That's it! That's the boy's weak spot.
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Wilbur: [over radio] Mugwomp Tower! Mugwomp Tower! This is Albatross 1-3 requesting permision to land. Over!
Jake: Albatross? Let's see.
[he looks at a chart of various birds]
Jake: Finch, wren, scrub bird, lorikeet, freckled duck, galah, kookaburra, parrot, cockatoo, albatro...
[reacts at its size]
Jake: Alb-Albatross? It-It's a jumbo!
[turns to microphone]
Jake: Negative, 1-3! You'll have to turn back! Our runway isn't long enough for a bird your size!
Wilbur: Not long enough? Look, pal! I can land this thing on a dime!
Bernard: Uh, Wilbur, if the runway isn't long enough...
Wilbur: Listen! You can't let these radar jockeys push you around! Just leave it to me, all right?
Jake: I say it again, mate, our runway is too short!
Wilbur: And I say it again, "mate", I'm comin' in!
Jake: Crazy Yank.
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Bernard: [leaps out of the stump where he is hiding from Joanna to attack her upon seeing that McLeach is trying to shoot Cody's rope] Oh, my gosh! I hope I know what I'm doing...
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McLeach: Breaker, breaker, little mate. I forgot to tell ya... around here you have to be QUIET! Or the rangers might hear ya. Now sit down, relax, enjoy the view. Nothing but abandoned opal mines far as the eye can see. And dead ahead is home sweet home.
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McLeach: [McLeach is sharpening several knives. Cody sits tied up in front of a map] Let's see if we can't refresh that rusty old memory of yours. Is she on Satan's Ridge?
[He throws one knife and it sticks on the map under lettering that says "Satan's Ridge"]
McLeach: Or Nightmare Canyon?
[He tosses another knife, again with perfect accuracy]
McLeach: What do you think Joanna?
[Joanna breaks an animal cracker in half]
McLeach: Yeah, that's it. Right smack dab in the middle of that Croc Falls, ZAP!
[This time the knife comes dangerously close to Cody's head]
McLeach: Am I getting warm?
Cody: I told you I don't remember!
[He starts walking towards Cody carrying a fourth knife]
McLeach: Don't realize that a bird that size is worth a fortune!
[McLeach stabs the wall]
McLeach: I'll split the money with ya fifty-fifty. You can't get a better offer than that boy.
Cody: You won't have ANY money when the rRngers get through with you!
[McLeach walks across the room growling the whole way. He kicks over a pot of boiling water]
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McLeach: Well, Joanna what'd we get today? A dingo, a fat old razorback or a nice big... boy?
[He pauses for a moment and then kicks Joanna in the side]
McLeach: Joanna, you been out here digging holes again? Dumb lizard's always trying to bury squirrels out here.
Cody: Uh-uh. It's a trap, and poaching's against the law.
McLeach: Trap? Now where'd you get an idea like that, boy; I think you've been down in that hole too long.
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McLeach: [singing] You get a line, I'll get a pole, matey./You get a line, I'll get a pole, friend./You get a line, I'll get a pole,/We'll go fishing in a crocodile hole,/Buddy, pal o'mine.
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