Memorable quotes for
Quick Change (1990) More at IMDbPro »

Bank Guard: What the Hell kind of clown are you?
Grimm: The crying on the inside kind, I guess.

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Phyllis: A real man? Who has to use a gun and hold people prisoner? You're not a man. You're a coward.
Hostage: She does not speak for the rest of us Mr. Clown. We think that you are quite brave and manly.
Phyllis: You big PUSSY! You're all a bunch of PUSSIES!

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Street Barker: Nude women! Nude women
[Grimm dressed as a clown walks by]
Street Barker: Clowns Welcome! Clowns welcome!

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Loomis: Please God! We need a cab! One lousy fuckin' cab!

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Loomis: Is that our plane?
Phyllis: No, if it were our plane, it would be crashing.

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Grimm: Oh sir! You forgot your map! And our millions of dollars!

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Loomis: You aren't going to hit me again are you?
Grimm: I haven't hit anybody since I was nine.
Loomis: Yeah, but it was me you hit!

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[boarding a plane at JFK]
Flight Attendant: Do you think you're late enough?
Grimm: Oh, you must be from around here.

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[shouting for a cab]
Loomis: Ten thousand dollars for a taxi!
Phyllis: And a blow job!

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[after Loomis is injured jumping from a moving cab]
Loomis: Are you gonna hit me now?
Grimm: No, but if your leg is broken, we'll have to destroy you.

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Grimm: I booked the eleven o'clock to Martinique.
Phyllis: Martinique?
Loomis: Martinique? But I don't know anything about Martinique.
Grimm: What did you know about Fiji?
Loomis: Well... nothing.

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Loomis: It's bad luck just SEEING a thing like that!

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[Hispanic woman is shouting on a street corner]
Grimm: There must be alot of competition for that corner.
Phyllis: It's a good thing she's not too symbolic or anything.
Loomis: what does that mean anyway? Flores por el muerte?
Grimm: I sure couldn't tell ya'.
Phyllis: Aw, you know Grimm, it means flowers for the dead.
[shoots her an angry glare]
Loomis: Oh! We're all gonna die! We're a-a-a-ll gonna d-i-i-e!

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Grimm: [sobbing] The man is an animal! Ripping out phones, urinating on desks... you see what he did to Ms. Cochran's shirt? There's a scratch here, I mean, it's not deep, but... it's there.
Phyllis: It's okay.
Chief Rotzinger: Did he hurt anybody else? Is the strain beginning to show on him?
Grimm: "If I could sleep ten days and nights in a rice paddy, I could certainly last in this lousy bank." This is what the animal said to us! He says to Ms. Cochran here:
[makes humping motions at Phyllis]
Grimm: "Baby! Up your butt with a coconut!" I think he was prepared to do it! Except I saw no coconut. He, uh, he had no coconut to my knowledge.

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Hugh: [to other hostages] Can it, here comes Clarabelle.

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Phyllis: Honey, babe? You've got a gun - shoot them.
Grimm: I want to, but they're fur-bearing. I'd need some kind of permit, wouldn't I?
[to construction workers, sarcastically]
Grimm: You know, I want to thank you guys, you could've given us help, but you've given us so much more.
Street Sign Worker: [cheerfully] Hey, that's what we're here for, right?

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[Loomis is driving the car backwards]
Phyllis: [sarcastically] Oh, we're REALLY making good time now.

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Loomis: Now, we're going to find a familiar street soon.
Phyllis: I'd settle for a familiar borough.

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Loomis: It was an accident, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Oh, you know? So was Chernobyl.
Grimm: True, but Loomis didn't irradiate anybody.

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Phyllis: Great! We'll have to sail a raft to Fiji like Thor Heyerdahl!

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[Johnny holds a gun to Grimm's back]
Johnny: This ain't my dick in your back!
Grimm: That's a relief.

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Grimm: [frustrated, to bus driver] You better get some help! You're becoming Ralph Kramden's evil twin!

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Phyllis: [comforting Loomis] Nothing's your fault...
[hits Loomis]
Phyllis: ... except you honked the fucking horn.

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[From a shadowy alley]
Flower Lady: Flores! Flores para los muertes! Flores! Para los muertes! Los muertes! Los muertes! Los muertes!

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Phyllis: To the God-damned AIRPORT!
Loomis: Whatta got? Shit in your ears?

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Grimm: I'm sure no harm will come to me once I'm inside the bank all by myself.

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Chief Rotzinger: Listen, I've had just about enough of your comedy, clown. We're coming in through the plate glass.
Grimm: Alright, I gotta hang-up now, because I gotta go kill everybody.

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Grimm: Button it up, pal. Nobody likes a whiner!

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Bank Guard: I said "we're closed," Bozo.
Grimm: [dressed as a clown] : I wouldn't. And that's Mr. Bozo, okay?

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Grimm: If I can sleep ten days and nights in a rice patty, I can certainly last in this lousy bank!

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[getting on a bus]
Phyllis: What's that smell?
Grimm: Used wine.

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[last lines]
Chief Rotzinger: [getting into car] Hey, we gotta commend this Skipowski... I mean, Chipowski.
[Rotzinger pops out of car and looks in total disbelief at the plane taking off]

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Grimm: I was in 'Nam with a jerk like you.
Policeman: Oh boy.

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Grimm: When you say "near" the airport...
Bus Driver: .48 miles.
Grimm: Alright. When do we get there?
Bus Driver: 22:30 hours.
Grimm: When is that? In human time.
Bus Driver: 10:30.
Grimm: 10:30. Say you had to walk it...
Bus Driver: With that injured individual?
Grimm: Yes.
Bus Driver: I can't give you a precise figure on that.
Grimm: Come on! Make a guess.
Bus Driver: 21 minutes.

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Chief Rotzinger: What's your name pal, what should I call ya?
Grimm: Well, I've always liked the name chip. Would you call me chip?
Chief Rotzinger: Alright. What was that shooting just now, Chip?
Grimm: Oh wait! Call me skip.
Chief Rotzinger: Okay, Skip, what was that shooting?
Grimm: The cameras, I was shooting the cameras. They were looking at me. Quit looking at me!
Grimm: [shoots the camera]

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Grimm: Thank you Roy. God! Alright, Roy's going to get us the duggle bag, a wheelchair and some skis out of lost luggage to cover your limp.
Loomis: Did you give him a couple of bucks?
Grimm: Yeah, try $1200. Scary but Roy's sixth sense told him we were in some kind of jam...
Loomis: ESP exists, Grimm. They've proved it.
Grimm: Yeah, you picking up anything from me right now, pal?

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Bus Driver: Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board. Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board. Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board...

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Cab Driver: Wheddehettu?

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Chief Rotzinger: At least give me the women.
Grimm: Get your own women!

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