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La mansión de los Cthulhu More at IMDbPro »

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8 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

May both Lovecraft and Cthulu forgive the poor fools who made this mess

3/10
Author: Jay Bethke from South Dakota, U.S.
6 June 2005

Don't go into this one expecting even a remote trace of Lovecraftian horror ...you won't find it. The only HPL connection to this screwball effort is the word Cthulu ...the word, not the idea, not the god, not the atmosphere or anything else. Just the word. One can't necessarily expect the actors of a movie like this to be top notch (though Jeffrey Combs of some other HPL-based films is certainly the exception), but in Cthulu Mansion you feel like you should be watching something recorded by teenagers on a digital camera. The film's dialog consists solely of clichés ...an hour and a half worth of clichés: imagine that! The lead bad guy is named Hawk (which wouldn't be funny even if this were a satire of trashy horror), and the characters so lack originality and human-ness that you'll find yourself wondering aloud, "What was going through the actor's mind when he/she was performing this scene?" Seemingly absolutely nothing. The killings are mild (the blood-shower drowning was cool but too good for this film) or stupid (the 1950s monster hands coming out of the refrigerator ...come on!), and the only genuinely positive thing I can say about the entire mess was that the mansion used here would be great in a better film. I so wanted this to be a better movie. The cover at the video store, the fact that it was Spanish and claimed to be based off of Lovecraft, all pointed to something awesome ...but I was horribly deceived.

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7 out of 9 people found the following review useful:

One of the worst, take it from a fan...

3/10
Author: doctorgonzo23 from Canada
10 October 2004

I love B horror films, so I was expecting something that would at least make me laugh or perhaps keep my interest for an hour and a half. This movie was not even close to accomplishing either of those tasks. It amazes me how a production can be so bad in so many ways. There isn't a thing about this movie that makes it worth watching. The acting is bad, and not in a funny way. The actors look bored half the time. It's total s***. Why is it that these productions fail to live up to the standard of high school theatre? The plot is also garbage. The only thing borrowed from Lovecraft is the Cthulhu nomenclature. I mean, what does this movie even have to do with the Cthulhu mythos? Answer: absolutely nothing. The dialogue is so repetitive and inane... not even a bit of humour in it. The characters are also pretty flat. There wasn't a single one I cared about by the end of this monstrosity. The F/X (all 35 seconds of them) are also pretty bad. Again, not funny bad; just plain moronic.

The bottom line: I bought this from a local movie store (used) for $1. I should have bought a can of Pepsi, or played 4 games of Space Invaders. I am fanatical about bad trash cinema, especially horror, but I can't find a use for this thing at all. Bypass with extreme prejudice.

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

ick

Author: janiceflux
28 February 2002

i rented this movie because i wasn't feeling well and was looking for bad yet amusing or inspiring (either/or, bad doesn't always mean awful) horror to pass the time. this movie has nothing to do with lovecraft in any way, and the only thing i found amusing was one character's over-acting of the horror movie staple line "what have you done to my brother (mother, sister, aunt, hand, etc....)." hilarious, that. for evil supernatural forces, you would do better to look at the evil dead series, for lovecraftian horror look to the reanimator, which is modernized but still excellent and retains some of ol' h.p.'s touches. leave this dog alone.

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

The World NOT According to Lovecraft

4/10
Author: BaronBl00d (baronbl00d@aol.com) from NC
14 October 2001

Well, this film tries to sell itself off as being Lovecraftian but really is more like crappion...or carrion. Really, it is not all that bad once you realize it has nothing to do with H. P. Lovecraft and is nothing more than a tale of a magician and how some hoodlums break into his home. The film goes right for your horror heart strings with a black cat, a huge mansion, lots of swirling dry ice, and other horror cliches. The house is impressive and the actors are so annoying(apart from Frank Finlay in the lead as the magician and Marcia Layton as his daughter)that you readily want something tragic to happen to them. What exactly happens...who is to say? Certainly not me as it is a very porous story, but the execution of the plot is done with some style. Despite some major, major flaws, the film is very watchable and entertaining in a bad its good vein.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

No good

1/10
Author: dementia13
13 November 2009

I read somewhere that this movie had nothing to do with H.P. Lovecraft, but was given its title solely in the hopes of attracting viewers. Because there's nothing about the movie itself that would attract viewers. I'm not a fan of the "so bad it's good" idea, it's just a mask for people who can't admit to liking lowbrow or low-budget movies. But this movie isn't "lowbrow", it's just bad. It's got no acting and no thrills, and possibly may be the only movie I've seen about which I didn't like anything at all. One of the very worst I've seen, and far worse than any of the films I've seen that turn up on the IMDb "Bottom 100" list. This is not even one you'd watch for curiosity's sake.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

Great if you love cheesy horror movies, horrible if you don't.

2/10
Author: Joanne Jones (jjmoreta) from Iowa
26 March 2004

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

To call this a B movie would be to give it too much credit. I was constantly reminded of Manos: Hand of Fate and similar horror movies that are lampooned by Mystery Science Theatre 3000 or shown on late-night cable television.

If you are a fan of cheesy horror movies, this is a great movie. If you're looking for decent plot, believable visual effects, or sound effects that didn't come directly from a sound effects record (the opening credits are an excellent example), you might want to try something else. Definitely pick this one up for a Halloween party. It also ends up being a great value for your rental or purchasing dollar because this movie seems twice as long as it actually is.

If you're a Lovecraft fan, you'll probably be disappointed. This is a homage movie and not based directly on any of his stories.

I DON'T KNOW IF THE FOLLOWING WOULD BE CONSIDERED A SPOILER, BUT I'M WARNING YOU NEVERTHELESS. DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE PLOT.

Despite the title, no, you don't get to see Cthulhu. He's not even really involved. They only mention evil and dark forces in general and never mention any specific demon from Lovecraft's works. There are only a few minor references to Cthulhu scattered around - the name on the gate of the mansion, the cover of a book of evil magic, and a few utterances, I think. The movie is titled as it is just to lure in Lovecraft fans.

That was honestly the only thing keeping me going through this one, though - would I get to see him? But in the end, I actually ended up relieved not to see them try to show Cthulhu. With the small budget this movie had for effects and actors, it would have been a rather sad depiction.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

Very bad, but entertaining J.P. Simon stuff.

Author: willywants
14 December 2003

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Small spoilers An aging magician harboring a terrible occult secret and his daughter are taken hostage in their isolated mansion by teenage scumbags need- ing a place to hide out. When the captors refuse to listen to the magician's dire warning to release him unharmed, the mansion slowly releases its nightmare of horrors on the unsuspecting invaders. Laughable horror film has lots bizzare scenes including a girl being eaten whole by a plant, claws coming out of a refrigerator and pulling people in, possessed people running around doing nothing.....Lots of fun! recommended.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

why you should save your 3 bucks at the video store

Author: (antibogosity@hotmail.com) from Austin, Tx
20 November 2002

the only thing this misbegotten little fart of a movie has in common with the works of the old man of providence is the word 'cthulhu'. which, incidentally, appears all of once in the movie, on a gate over the driveway to the titular mansion. aside from that, it's just one more chance to get a bunch of oversexed 'teenage' characters in a big house/summer camp/abandoned insane asylum and kill them off in various nifty ways. no plot, special effects the nerdy kid down the street could duplicate given $50 dollars and a ride to home depot, and the disappointing tease of seeing something lovecraftian on your tv. the human bloodstream cannot hold enough thc to make this dog interesting.

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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

I saw this movie once....ONCE!

1/10
Author: ShadowFace_Productions from Ohio
4 May 2003

This is the kind of movie that makes you want the hour and a half of your life back. This movie should be in every film class to show new directors what not to do. I saw this movie over a year ago, but as hard as I try, and with other reviews I've read cannot think of a single redeeming quality, other that the ability to MST3K the Hell out of it.

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3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

Hilarious trash.

4/10
Author: HumanoidOfFlesh from Chyby, Poland
23 August 2001

"La Mansion de los Cthulhu" is surely one of the worst horror movies ever made.On the other hand I found it to be very enjoyable.This film is never scary,but it is quite amusing.It has awful acting,pathetic special effects and some of the most annoying characters I have seen.These people are so extremely stupid that I laughed a lot while I was watching their idiotic actions.I know that Juan Piquer Simon isn't very talented director,but I enjoyed his "Pieces" and "Slugs",because they were so over the top in their gore department.This one is enjoyable,because of its outrageous stupidity.You'll laugh until it hurts with this one-you can believe me!The bloody shower scene has to be seen to be believed!

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