|Page 1 of 2:|| |
|Index||13 reviews in total|
The Dereks did seem to struggle to find rolls for Bo after "10".
I used to work for a marine park in the Florida Keys. One day, the script for "Ghosts Can't Do It" was circulating among the trainers in the "fish house" where food was prepared for the dolphins. There was one scene where a -dolphin- supposedly propositions Bo (or Bo the dolphin), asking to "go make eggs." Reading the script, we -lauuughed-...
We did not end up doing any portion of this movie at our facility, although our dolphins -were- in "The Big Blue!"
This must have been very close to the end of Anthony Quinn's life. I hope he had fun in this film, as it certainly didn't do anything for his legacy.
The Derek's have over the 1980s produced a few decent bids to acquire the
title "worst movie of all time", and this is probably their prime
achievement in these stakes. In fact, this film can be regarded as
belonging to the "so bad, it's good" category, right up there with the
products of the likes of Edward Wood Jr. or Doris Wishman. This explains
the IMDb voting pattern for this film with some people handing out top
Anthony Quinn made the odd dodgy film in his time, but this performance as a randy ghost is so incredibly bad, it has to be seen to be believed.
I've now watched all four Bo Derek vehicles directed by her husband, John; all are quite terrible, of course, but this is certainly the pits. Featuring the usual flimsy plot, bad scripting by the director, naturally and acting, not to mention gratuitous nudity by the star, it deals with her losing much older husband Anthony Quinn (she accepts his shotgun suicide by saying he had always admired Hemingway!!) but who continues to appear and talk to her. In fact, he wants to come back in another, younger body but actually does so only in the very last scene! Derek is lovely as always, and still playing naïve(!) especially during a muddled mid-section which has her pursued by a hired killer at a spa. Quinn, too, is typically larger-than-life (read: hammy) here, but this easily constitutes his nadir; besides, for much of the duration, he acts from behind a piece of shiny plastic (presumably suggesting his being in some sort of limbo)! His 'replacement', then, is obviously a handsome-looking stud who hasn't a lick of talent or even personality. Also featured in the cast are Hollywood veterans Don Murray (as Quinn's best friend and Bo's business consultant) and Julie Newmar (as Quinn's guardian angel in the afterlife) plus a surprising cameo appearance by billionaire Donald Trump (who presumably needed this on his resume')! It also goes without saying that John Derek was his own cinematographer on the film, that the end credits are filled with useless (and corny) expressions of gratitude to the many people who lent a helping hand, and that GHOSTS CAN'T DO IT swept the board at the 1990 Razzie Awards!
With a Bo Derek movie, the audience get just what they expect. A paper thin plot and a few shots of Mrs. Derek in no clothes. 'Ghosts can't do it' is just that. The first fifteen minutes is ordinary TV drama, as long as Scott [Anthony Quinn] is still alive. He is a very good actor with long experience in a lot of different roles, but it seems as even a famous actor need to work just for money sometimes. Bo Derek is the opposite, always playing a strikingly handsome young woman with or without clothes. The movie is a complete waste of time. If you want to see Quinn, rent Lawrence of Arabia or La Strada. If you want to see nude women or bad acting, rent any porno movie.
"Ghost" did this kind of story better.
Of course, comparing "Ghost" to "Ghosts Can't Do It" is like comparing a banquet line to a compost heap.
As much as I like a good Bo Derek nude scene (for all the umpteen times I've seen them), here they're all just so... and I can't believe I'm saying this... BORING.
Yes, you heard me.
She gets naked, yes. She dances seductively in what John Derek must have thought was a clever variation on the same type of dance scene in "Flashdance". She strips down to nothing on the beach. Dips down into a hot tub, sans clothes. And blah blah blah....
But she just stands there. Yes, she stood there in her other movies, too. But it was the WAY she stood there that got to you, if you know what I mean, guys. Yeah, sure you do.
And let's not even get into what Anthony Quinn, Julie Newmar and Donald Trump are doing in a movie where everyone is more interested in seeing how Bo is going to get naked in the next scene.
Oh, I'm sure John had his own ideas of making Bo the next Helen Hayes (snicker, snicker...), save for one big difference: BO CAN NOT ACT. Nudity. Standing around with her mouth partially open. If that were all acting were, then yes, Bo would already be the next Helen Hayes.
But here in the real world....
One star. Even I was bored by this one, and that's not easy to do with me. I'd give this one no stars but darn it, Bo, when you look at me with your mouth partially open....
I saw this obvious schlock fest on a video store shelf. And before i
got my first VCR I figured I'd christen it with this little gem and
it's bad film-making at it's finest!
The dialog is inadvertently hilarious. And it contains a cameo with Donald Trump. Anthony Quinn is in it inexplicably. And much like Christopher Walken seemed to want to star in every bad movie in his later years. This movie is Mr. Quinn's Country Bears.
It features lines like, "Shut up and let me FIGHT!!!"
And "You're saying a lot of sh_it!"
And the priceless comeback: "Unfortunately it is sh_it, tough angry sh_it!"
You'll be awed by a fight scene as Bo does a SOMMERSAULT across a billiard table! And does a nice kung fu kick when she comes up from the roll! Chop socky action and T and A thrills!!!
What schlock movie fan could ask for more? Oh, and when Mr. Quinn's character commits suicide and and comes back to haunt Bo as a ghost she asks him why he killed himself rather then deal with his debilitating illness? He says, "Real men don't eat quiche."
Uh, aaa, yeah. If Bo was a smart cookie she woulda called for an exorcist right then and there!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I would not call the filmmakers here dumb, stupid or mentally challenged. But only because these words would not suffice to define the level of complete incompetence, ignorance, and sloth these people embody. I have to say, actress Bo Derek and her husband, director John Derek are just bad. They perhaps one of the most narcissistic Hollywood couple ever. Together they produced what has been called a Trilogy of Crap; possibly the worst series of erotic romantics movies of all time. While, 1981's 'Tarzan, the Ape Man' and 1984's "Bolero" are horrible. Its 1989's 'Ghost can't do it" that takes the cake. It's nearly un-watchable. This movie is no '10'. It's a big fat zero! This film deserve that. Directed by John Derek, the film tells the story of two lovers, Scott (Anthony Quinn) & Katie (Bo Derek), despite their 30-year age difference, live very happy lives. While, there are some people who would qualify this as romantic; the creepiness factor is only added upon once we get into the depths of their May to December relationship, which mainly involve Scott forceful ordering Kate around and her naive obeying him. Bo Derek's character is a little too submissive. She even calls her, much older husband with the nickname, 'the Great One'. Holy crap! This movie set woman rights, years back with that statement. However, after Scott suffers a heart attack and is unable to make love, he commits suicide and becomes a ghost that only Kate can see and speak with. To make it possible for Scott to return as a human, the two must conjure up a plan to have a young man drown, so that Scott can take his body. Yes, you readt that right. It's a movie about two very unlikable uber rich characters, trying to kill another prick, Fausto Garibaldi (Leo Damian) to steal his body as a romantic comedy. Wow! Just wow! Why would anybody want to gain custody of a body that they hate!? It doesn't make sense. What a horrible plot! Without spoiling the movie, too much, not only is the main plot of the film, very crude and offensive, but the movie also have doesn't go anywhere sub-plots like business dealings and jewels heist that just as miserable. There is barely any exposition. Another thing, wrong about this movie is the acting. Bo Derek is clearly impaired, throughout this whole movie. She doesn't convey the level of intelligence the movie desperately wants us to believe she has, from her cunning business meetings to her ability to fly several different airplanes. Seriously, she sounds like a whinny toddler with her silly dialogue. Plus, none of her jokes, connect with me. I really can't laugh at jokes about rape. She's so awful. Also, I get that Bo Derek is more famous for her gorgeous looks than her mediocre acting, but the nudity in this film is very random. It really doesn't add much to the film's plot. Having Quinn yell at her, to get naked is pretty disturbing as well. His character is very repulsive sexism. It's like, watching a horny drunk grandpa hit on their hot granddaughter. It's not very watchable, unless you like creepy ass pornos. Anthony Quinn is also very unlikable in this movie, due to his laziness. I hate how much he phone his performance in, during this movie. Most of the film, has his character in a blurry wading pool in the sky with Julie Newmar's angel character, commenting on the events, happen to his wife, post-death. It's so jarring, if anybody else, can see it or hear him in the film. Clearly, nobody in the film, seem bother, by Katie's talks to herself at all. Not even, billionaire, Donald Trump who has a cameo, as himself, who surprising, isn't that bad in this film. Another problem with this film is how it was filmed. It's so washed out, blurry and grainy. First off, the opening of the film is so ugly-looking with its sepia tinted mountain range slide-show background. Second off, it's really hard to figure out, what the credits even says, with the small hand-written font. Third off, the movie has really annoying voice-over, during that opening. The film also suffers from bad editing. The movie really has some bad scene transitions. One minute, Katie fighting off a hit-man, next minute she's in bed, sleeping. Huh? What happen, here!? I'm confused. Also, the movie tend to focus the camera on some random people's commentary at times, such as the scene on the train. The women that talks about Katie, are never mention, again. It's so odd, pacing wise. Other scenes were edited down or cut, like the death of Scott, which is filmed off-screen. It left a lot of confuse looks, as I have no clue, what happen. It was just bizarre. Overall: I have to say, this 1980's romp with one of that decade's biggest sex symbols was inept, at best. I really can't recommended watching this movie. It's repulsive. It really deserve 1990 Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Picture. It's really that bad.
Scott (Anthony Quinn) and Katie (Bo Derek) are happily married living
on a remote ranch. Scott suffers a heart attack and cannot get it up
anymore. In despair, he commits suicide by gunshot. He finds himself in
an empty purgatory and able to communicate only with Katie. They work
for him to possess men who have sex with her.
This deserves every Golden Razzie it won. The only shame of this is that it taints the legacy of Anthony Quinn by turning him into a talking floating head. He's not romantic. He comes off as a sex-obsessed controlling dirty old man. Bo Derek is never a good actress. This one has walking around talking to herself. She makes her naked body less attractive. I imagine this is what real life with the Dereks look like. It's a lot bickering where sex is reduced to an ugly transaction. This is simply the worst.
Ghosts Can't Do It (1989)
BOMB (out of 4)
Director-writer John Derek and wife Bo made a total of four films together starting with FANTASIES and then moving onto TARZAN THE APE MAN and BOLERO. All three movies were pretty bad but nothing in them was bad enough to prepare for you how downright awful their fourth and final film was. In the film, Bo plays a young woman married to a much older man (Anthony Quinn) who ends up killing himself. The old man's spirit sticks around to have conversations with his woman and soon the two of them decide it's best for his spirit to enter a younger man so that they can have sex again. GHOSTS CAN'T DO IT is without question one of the worst films I've ever seen and especially one of the worst romances I've seen. I really would have loved to have been a fly on the wall whenever the Derek's were discussing the films that they should make. There's no question that John loved his wife and was proud of her body and thankfully he wasn't a prude about showing it off. Bo has always been an amazingly beautiful woman and that's true here as she has several scenes where she's totally naked. Without this cheap nudity the film would be completely horrible so at least John was smart enough to add nude scenes but this could be said for all four of their films. As for acting, I've never quite found Bo to be as bad as many others but there's still no question she doesn't give that much of a performance here. Quinn basically stands around behind some filter meant to make him look like his in another world. His performance is pretty campy and over-the-top. Vets Don Murray and Julie Newmar also appear but add very little. Again, I'm really not sure what John Derek was trying to do here unless he was really preparing his wife for his own death since he was much older. Perhaps this was just some sort of perverted fantasy that he had about dying himself. I'm not sure what the goal was but the end result is just a complete disaster that's certainly not romantic, never funny and just a real painful experience to try and make it through.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Tony Quinn croaks and wants to come back to life, but he's having a
little trouble being reincarnated in the Maldive Islands when he tries
to possess a younger man's body so he can 'do it' again with his wife
Director John Derek's last movie is a lesson in experimental film-making, especially on the subject of story continuity. Bo rides trains, cars, motor-bikes, airplanes, and elephants, and she still never really seems to get very far. Still, I like John's 'direction' - it's so innovative (read: bizarre), and Bo has never looked more gorgeous.
Mostly for Bo Derek aficionados, unless you're interested in seeing Tony as a blurry ghost or Bo wearing an entire black bear-hide as an overcoat, a toilet-paper roll cover as a ski cap, or the entire skin of a dead fox - head and all - as a winter hat.
I always have two opinions about a film.... my critical opinion and my personal opinion. 'Critically', this flick sucks. 'Personally' for me, this is my fave movie of all-time ;)
|Page 1 of 2:|| |
|External reviews||Plot keywords||Main details|
|Your user reviews||Your vote history|