Sam Wheat:
I'm Henry the 8th I am. Henry the 8th I am I am. I got married to the widow next door. She's been married seven times before.
[
Looking longingly at a pack of cigarettes]
Subway Lord:
Ahh what I wouldn't give for a drag! Just one drag!
Molly Jensen:
I love you.
Sam Wheat:
Ditto.
Molly Jensen:
I love you. I really love you.
Sam Wheat:
Ditto.
Sam:
I love you, Molly. I've always loved you.
Molly:
Ditto.
Oda Mae Brown:
He's stuck, that's what it is. He's in between worlds. You know it happens sometimes that the spirit gets yanked out so fast that the essence still feels it has work to do here.
Sam Wheat:
Would you stop rambling?
Oda Mae Brown:
I don't think I'm rambling, I'm just answering the question. He's got a' attitude now.
Sam Wheat:
I don't have an attitude.
Oda Mae Brown:
Yes, you do have an attitude. If you didn't have an attitude, you would not have raised your voice at me now would you?
Sam Wheat:
God dammit...
Oda Mae Brown:
Don't you "God dammit" me. Don't you take the Lord's name in vain with me. I don't take that!
Sam Wheat:
Would you relax?
Oda Mae Brown:
No, you relax, you're the dead guy!
Oda Mae Brown:
I know you don't think I'm giving this 4 million dollars to a bunch of nuns!
Sam:
Think of it this way, you'll go to Heaven.
Oda Mae Brown:
I don't want to go to Heaven, I want to go to the bank and cash a GODDAMN CHECK!
Sam:
I love you Molly. I always have.
Molly:
Ditto.
[
last lines]
Sam Wheat:
It's amazing, Molly. The love inside, you take it with you. See ya.
Molly:
See ya. Bye.
Oda Mae Brown:
Why don't you go haunt a house? Rattle some chains or something.
Sam Wheat:
They're going to kill you, Carl. You and Willie! You're going to be fertilizer. They're gonna bury you right next to Jimmy Hoffa.
Molly Jensen:
Carl, are you all right?
Carl Bruner:
It's just my stomach! Do you have anything like Pepto Bismol or something like that?
Sam Wheat:
Cyanide!
Oda Mae Brown:
I don't know you! I don't know Sam, but let me tell you what he did to me. He kept me up all night singing "I'm Henry the Eighth I Am."
Molly Jensen:
That's how he got me to go out with him.
[
Oda Mae just gave a four-million-dollar check to some nuns]
Sam Wheat:
I'm proud of you, Oda Mae!
Oda Mae Brown:
You know something, Sam? I don't care if you're proud of me. You just stay away from me from now on. What is that nun going to do with it? She can't even buy underwear.
Sam:
Molly, you're in danger.
Oda Mae Brown:
You can't just blurt it out like that! And quit moving around, because you're starting to make me dizzy. I'll just tell her in my own way.
[
pause; then, to Molly]
Oda Mae Brown:
Molly, you in danger girl.
[
When handing the check to the nuns]
Sam:
Hand her the check.
Oda Mae Brown:
I will!
Sam Wheat:
Write it down.
Oda Mae Brown:
[
to Molly Jensen] He wants you to write it down.
Sam Wheat:
No, YOU write it down!
Oda Mae Brown:
I ain't no DAMN secretary!
Oda Mae Brown:
[
spiritually possessed by Orlando] Ortisha? Where you at? I can't hardly see!
Ortisha:
Orlando? Orlando!
Oda Mae Brown:
Damn baby, what'd you do to yo hair?
Ortisha:
Orlando, you like it? It's "autumn sunrise."
[
at a bank meeting, Oda Mae has improvised several lines]
Sam Wheat:
Don't embellish.
Oda Mae Brown:
Jawohl.
Oda Mae Brown:
[
to Sam] You're white. I knew it. Why me?
Oda Mae Brown:
Do you hear me talking to you?
Workman in Loft:
I hear you!
Oda Mae Brown:
Ah shut up, nobody's talking to you.
Workman in Loft:
Didn't you ever hear of a phone?
Oda Mae Brown:
Wanna kiss my butt?
[
pause]
Oda Mae Brown:
I'm not gonna stand out here forever!
Workman in Loft:
Thank god!
Oda Mae Brown:
Ah man, shut up!
Sam Wheat:
How long have you been here?
Subway Lord:
Since they pushed me.
Sam Wheat:
Someone pushed you?
Subway Lord:
Yeah, someone pushed me.
Sam Wheat:
Who?
Subway Lord:
What, you don't believe me? You think I fell? You think I jumped? Well, fuck you!
Sam Wheat:
[
Edited for TV Version] How long have you been here?
Subway Lord:
Since they pushed me.
Sam Wheat:
Someone pushed you?
Subway Lord:
Yeah. Someone pushed me.
Sam Wheat:
Who?
Subway Lord:
What you don't believe me? You think I fell? You think I jumped? Well, forget you! It wasn't my time. I wasn't supposed to go! I'm not supposed to be here!
[
kicks the glass of vending machine]
Sam Wheat:
[
scaring/torturing Carl] Now do you believe in ghosts?
Carl Bruner:
You're lying to me! Don't *lie to me*!
[
losing it]
Carl Bruner:
Goddamn it!
[
Sam regains his ability to move things and goes for Carl]
Carl Bruner:
[
holding a gun on Molly] I'll kill her, Sam!
[
shouts]
Carl Bruner:
I swear to God, I'll kill her.
Sam Wheat:
[
at the bank meeting] Tell her to send this to the third-floor file because you have a transaction to make.
Oda Mae Brown:
Can you send this to the third-floor file? I have a transfusion to make.
[
to the bank employee after messing up the signature card]
Oda Mae Brown:
I'm sorry, but, could I get another one? I... uh... signed the wrong name.
Sam:
[
after he spots Molly at the bank] Oda Mae, we've gotta go!
Oda Mae Brown:
Well, I'd best go now! It's been a PLEASURE doing business with you! A real pleasure! Now may I keep this-?
Oda Mae Brown:
[
Sam pushes her chair to get her moving] Say hi to Bob and Snookie for me, I'll see ya!
[
She races off, talking frantically to Sam]
Oda Mae Brown:
Now are you going to go away Sam? 'Cause you know what, I got work to do.
Sam Wheat:
No.
Oda Mae Brown:
Fine then stay there.
[
Turning to her customers who are not paying attention]
Oda Mae Brown:
Eh, excuse me, EXCUSE me! You ready yet?
Oda Mae Brown:
Four million dollars?
Lyle Furgeson:
Yes. Four million dollars. And um, how would you like that, Mrs. Miller?
Oda Mae Brown:
Tens and twenties?
Sam Wheat:
No a cashier's check!
Oda Mae Brown:
Actually... I think better a cashier's check.
Lyle Furgeson:
Right...
Oda Mae Brown:
He's cute. White, but cute.
Emergency Room Ghost:
[
seeing Sam's body] Shot, huh? That'll do it every time.
Emergency Room Ghost:
[
as the Lights come for a dying man] Lucky bastard. It could've been the other ones. You never know.
Ortisha's Friend:
Can we get started soon?
Oda Mae Brown:
Oh, chill out. Chill. Out!
Oda Mae Brown:
Julio's coming towards us. I see him! He's coming! He's there! He's dressed in a black suit.
Rosa Santiago:
[
long pause] Black suit?
Oda Mae Brown:
[
pause] Could be blue!
Related Links
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