Quotes
Sam Wheat: [singing] I'm Henry the 8th I am. Henry the 8th I am I am. I got married to the widow next door. She's been married seven times before.
Share this[Looking longingly at a pack of cigarettes]
Subway Ghost: Ahh what I wouldn't give for a drag! Just one drag!
Share thisOda Mae Brown: He's stuck, that's what it is. He's in between worlds. You know it happens sometimes that the spirit gets yanked out so fast that the essence still feels it has work to do here.
Sam Wheat: Would you stop rambling?
Oda Mae Brown: I don't think I'm rambling, I'm just answering the question. He's got a attitude now.
Sam Wheat: I don't have an attitude.
Oda Mae Brown: Yes, you do have an attitude. If you didn't have an attitude, you would not have raised your voice at me now, would you?
Sam Wheat: God dammit...
Oda Mae Brown: Don't you "God dammit" me. Don't you take the Lord's name in vain with me. I don't take that!
Sam Wheat: Would you relax?
Oda Mae Brown: No, you relax, you're the dead guy!
Share thisOda Mae Brown: I know you don't think I'm giving this 4 million dollars to a bunch of nuns!
Sam: Think of it this way, you'll go to Heaven.
Oda Mae Brown: I don't want to go to Heaven, I want to go to the bank and cash a GODDAMN CHECK!
Share this[last lines]
Sam Wheat: It's amazing, Molly. The love inside, you take it with you. See ya.
Molly: See ya. Bye.
Share thisOda Mae Brown: Why don't you go haunt a house? Rattle some chains or something.
Share thisSam Wheat: They're going to kill you, Carl. You and Willie! You're going to be fertilizer. They're gonna bury you right next to Jimmy Hoffa.
Share thisMolly Jensen: Carl, are you all right?
Carl Bruner: It's just my stomach! Do you have anything like Pepto Bismol or something like that?
Sam Wheat: Cyanide!
Share thisOda Mae Brown: I don't know you! I don't know Sam, but let me tell you what he did to me. He kept me up all night singing "I'm Henry the Eighth I Am."
Molly Jensen: That's how he got me to go out with him.
Share this[Oda Mae just gave a four-million-dollar check to some nuns]
Sam Wheat: I'm proud of you, Oda Mae!
Oda Mae Brown: You know something, Sam? I don't care if you're proud of me. You just stay away from me from now on. What is that nun going to do with it? She can't even buy underwear.
Share thisSam: Molly, you're in danger.
Oda Mae Brown: You can't just blurt it out like that! And quit moving around, because you're starting to make me dizzy. I'll just tell her in my own way.
[pause; then]
Oda Mae Brown: Molly, you in danger, girl.
Share thisSam Wheat: Write it down.
Oda Mae Brown: [to Molly Jensen] He wants you to write it down.
Sam Wheat: No, YOU write it down!
Oda Mae Brown: I ain't no DAMN secretary!
Share thisOda Mae Brown: [spiritually possessed by Orlando] Ortisha? Where you at? I can't hardly see!
Ortisha: Orlando? Orlando!
Oda Mae Brown: Damn, baby, what'd you do to yo hair?
Ortisha: Orlando, you like it? It's "Autumn Sunrise".
Share this[at a bank meeting, Oda Mae has improvised several lines]
Sam Wheat: Don't embellish.
Oda Mae Brown: Jawohl.
Share thisOda Mae Brown: [to Sam] You're white. I knew it. Why me?
Share thisOda Mae Brown: [calling for Molly] Do you hear me talking to you?
Workman in Loft: I hear you!
Oda Mae Brown: Ah, shut up, nobody's talking to you.
Workman in Loft: Didn't you ever hear of a phone?
Oda Mae Brown: Wanna kiss my butt?
[pause, to Molly again]
Oda Mae Brown: I'm not gonna stand out here forever!
Workman in Loft: Thank God!
Oda Mae Brown: Ah, man, shut up!
Share thisSam Wheat: How long have you been here?
Subway Ghost: Since they pushed me.
Sam Wheat: Someone pushed you?
Subway Ghost: Yeah, someone pushed me.
Sam Wheat: Who?
Subway Ghost: What, you don't believe me? You think I fell? You think I jumped? Well, fuck you!
Share thisSam Wheat: [Edited for TV Version] How long have you been here?
Subway Ghost: Since they pushed me.
Sam Wheat: Someone pushed you?
Subway Ghost: Yeah. Someone pushed me.
Sam Wheat: Who?
Subway Ghost: What you don't believe me? You think I fell? You think I jumped? Well, forget you! It wasn't my time. I wasn't supposed to go! I'm not supposed to be here!
[kicks the glass of vending machine]
Share thisSam Wheat: [scaring/torturing Carl] Now do you believe in ghosts?
Share thisCarl Bruner: [Sam regains his ability to move things and goes for Carl; he holds a gun on Molly] I'll kill her, Sam! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL KILL HER.
Share thisSam Wheat: [at the bank meeting] Tell her to send this to the third-floor file because you have a transaction to make.
Oda Mae Brown: Can you send this to the third-floor file? I have a transfusion to make.
Share this[to the bank employee after messing up the signature card]
Oda Mae Brown: I'm sorry, but, could I get another one? I... uh... signed the wrong name.
Share thisSam: [after he spots Molly at the bank] Oda Mae, we've gotta go!
Oda Mae Brown: Well, I'd best go now! It's been a PLEASURE doing business with you! A real pleasure! Now may I keep this...
Oda Mae Brown: [Sam pushes her chair to get her moving] Say hi to Bob and Snookie for me, I'll see ya!
[She races off, talking frantically to Sam]
Share thisOda Mae Brown: Now are you going to go away, Sam? 'Cause you know what, I got work to do.
Sam Wheat: No.
Oda Mae Brown: Fine, then, stay there.
[Turning to her customers who are not paying attention]
Oda Mae Brown: Eh, excuse me, EXCUSE me! You ready yet?
Share thisOda Mae Brown: Four-million dollars?
Lyle Furgeson: Yes. Four-million dollars. And, um, how would you like that, Mrs. Miller?
Oda Mae Brown: Tens and twenties?
Sam Wheat: No, a cashier's check!
Oda Mae Brown: Actually... I think better a cashier's check.
Lyle Furgeson: Right...
Share thisOda Mae Brown: He's cute. White, but cute.
Share thisEmergency Room Ghost: [seeing Sam's body] Shot, huh? That'll do it every time.
Share thisEmergency Room Ghost: [as the Lights come for a dying man] Lucky bastard. It could've been the other ones. You never know.
Share thisOda Mae Brown: Julio's coming towards us. I see him! He's coming! He's there! He's dressed in a black suit.
Rosa Santiago: [long pause] Black suit?
Oda Mae Brown: [pause] Could be blue!
Share thisCarl Bruner: [Answers the phone nervously] Carl Bruner speaking.
Voice: Hi, Carl.
Carl Bruner: Mr. Balistrari.
Voice: Balistrari? Carl, it's me, John.
Carl Bruner: John. John, sorry, um, what - what - what - what's up?
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