The Freshman (1990)
Clark Kellogg: [narrating] There's a kind of freedom in being completely screwed... because you know things can't get any worse.
Clark Kellogg: What is the deal please? What is it? Am I some kind of a dupe? They looked through the Putnam Yearbook and they said, "Oh, here's a chump."
Tina Sabatini: Are you serious? A dupe? Do you think I'd be marrying a dupe? Everybody is talking about the job you are doing. It's all over town! Larry London called my father. Said how bright you were. How gentle. How perceptive. If you weren't all those things, do you think Vic would be out this afternoon getting you a gun permit?
Clark Kellogg: A gun permit? I don't need a gun permit!
Tina Sabatini: You have to have one if you're going to be carrying a gun. Clark, people are chasing you.
Carmine Sabatini: I want you to take this opportunity. Totally legitimate work for $1,000 dollars a week. And I know that you're not gonna disappoint me.
Clark Kellogg: Well, I don't see how I could say no.
Carmine Sabatini: [leans back in his chair] This is not a yes.
[takes a walnut and cracks it open in his hand]
Carmine Sabatini: [still crushing the shell] I want to hear yes.
Clark Kellogg: Sir, I don't know where this talk of marriage began, but I'm really not ready. I'd really like to sample life a little bit first.
Carmine Sabatini: Wait. No, wait. Clark, after you get married you sample life. I mean, this is what men do. Marriage is an institution. It's the bedrock of society. What you're talking about is a little va-va-voom. This is self understood. But, what I'm talking about is social order.
Victor Ray: [hands Clark a fake passport] Is that a piece of work or what?
Clark Kellogg: What is this? "Rodolfo Lasparri"?
Victor Ray: Clark, I gotta tell you. The odds are pretty good we're all gonna be on a plane to Palermo, Sicily tonight, at midnight, *if* we're still walking.
Clark Kellogg: I don't want to go to Palermo, Sicily!
Victor Ray: Have you ever been there?
Clark Kellogg: No, of course not!
Victor Ray: Then you really can't make an informed judgement, can you, Rodolfo?
Clark Kellogg: My heart was pounding as I crossed the dance floor. In a few minutes I would be free or dead...or Rodolfo Lasparri of Palermo, Sicily!
Carmine Sabatini: [Looking around the dorm] So, this is college.
Carmine Sabatini: I didn't miss nothing.
[In Little Italy]
Clark Kellogg: This is it?
Victor Ray: Yeah. Safest neighborhood in New York.
[Gunshot in the background]
[quoting "The Godfather: Part II"]
Arthur Fleeber, NYU Professor: "Senator, my offer is this: Nothing." In that one moment, Michael Corleone says that all corruption is equal - that there is no separation between politics and gangsterism. Now, in the Fleeber treatise, "Guns and Provolone," what point is made about the similarities between Karl Marx's "Das Kapital," Immanuel Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason," and the Lake Tahoe scene from "Godfather II?"
Clark Kellogg: I'm illegally transporting endangered species! Please, sir, I'd like to be let out.
Carmine Sabatini: Wait a minute. This is an impossibility.
Clark Kellogg: What do you mean? Why can't...
Carmine Sabatini: Look, Clark. I have a certain standing in the business community. How's it gonna look? A young college kid gonna make me look like a fool? I mean this is humiliation. It's infamia.
Clark Kellogg: There's federal officers after me.
Carmine Sabatini: Did you get their names?
Clark Kellogg: Greenwald and Simpson. They told me that they would put me in jail for two years, unless I led them to the Gourmet Club.
Carmine Sabatini: No, they're not gonna, they're not gonna send you to jail.
Clark Kellogg: Oh, they're not?
Carmine Sabatini: No, they're gonna blow your brains out.
Carmine Sabatini: I'm getting too old for this nonsense.
Clark Kellogg: It's about these animals. These reptiles
Carmine Sabatini: Yeah, what about 'em?
Clark Kellogg: They're endangered.
Carmine Sabatini: Not any more. They're in Jersey, they're fine.
Carmine Sabatini: When you finish film school, I'd like to call you, because I know a lot of people in Hollywood.
Clark Kellogg: Oh, really?
Carmine Sabatini: Yeah. I could kick a couple of doors open for you.
Clark Kellogg: Oh. Oh.
Carmine Sabatini: Give you a couple of opportunities.
Clark Kellogg: Oh. Oh, no. No, no. You know, I... I don't know. I don't think that's necessary.
Carmine Sabatini: No, no, no, really. It's easy for me. I'll just make a phone call. Make it easy for you.
Larry London: [sings in German] Mein Herz schwebt in Blut! That means 'My Heart Swims In Blood'.
Clark Kellogg: Yeah.
Dwight Armstrong, Clark's Step-father: Over there! Look!
Clark Kellogg: Dwight?
Clark Kellogg: Dwight, don't. Don't, really.
[Dwight fires his rifle]
Hunter: Hey, asshole! What are ya, nuts? You can't see the cap, it's not orange enough for ya?
[Dwight fires again]
Dwight Armstrong, Clark's Step-father: Get out of these woods!
Victor Ray: What? You know how big this is? Bacio di tutti baci... the kiss of all kisses.
Clark Kellogg: Tomorrow I was off to New York to begin my first day at New York University Film School. A Freshman - that was me.
Victor Ray: How about I give you a hand with those bags?
Clark Kellogg: Oh, no thanks. I'm fine.
Victor Ray: You're a smart kid. Rule number one: don't let anybody touch your bags, kid.
Victor Ray: Kid, here in New York we have three distinct social classes. A. People who make a billion dollars a day and get laid in some tower every night. B. People who live in Times Square and eat Yankee Doodles on the sidewalk. And C. Guys like me. Guys who I like to call the glue in society. We go - fugetaboutit, all hell's gonna break lose.
Clark Kellogg: So, I'm just a victim.
Steve Bushak: Clark, everybody in this city is a victim. Welcome to New York.
Arthur Fleeber, NYU Professor: I suggest you call your family for more money.
Clark Kellogg: Oh, no, that won't work. My step-father won't help me out of this.
Arthur Fleeber, NYU Professor: Oh, this is out of Dickens. Mr. Kellogg, you're robbed by a street urchin, you have a wicked step-father,
Arthur Fleeber, NYU Professor: I don't know what to say?
Victor Ray: This is my uncle, Carmine Sabatini. Uncle Carmine, this is Clark. Hey, you know you never told me your last name?
Clark Kellogg: Kellogg.
Victor Ray: Kellogg.
Carmine Sabatini: Just like the cereal. Like the breakfast cereal.
Clark Kellogg: You know, your resemblance to the Godfather...
Victor Ray: Clark, Clark, have a seat.
Carmine Sabatini: Pull up a chair.
Clark Kellogg: Thank you.
Carmine Sabatini: How'd you like a nut?
Clark Kellogg: Do you know, that picture on the wall back there, that wouldn't by any chance be Mussolini?
Carmine Sabatini: It ain't Tony Bennett.
Carmine Sabatini: Some of the other members of the club, just, eh, I don't know, they keep it up there for sentiment.
Clark Kellogg: Sentiment?
Victor Ray: Yeah, you know, the old days.
Carmine Sabatini: Yeah, it's for the old days, for good or for bad. It would be like for you, I suppose, a picture of the The Beatles.
Victor Ray: Yeah, The Beatles.
Clark Kellogg: They're actually before my time.
Carmine Sabatini: Well, whatever works.
Carmine Sabatini: My nephew tells me you're from Kansas.
Clark Kellogg: Vermont.
Carmine Sabatini: Vermont. Kansas. Vermont.
Victor Ray: Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
Carmine Sabatini: The most important thing is we're all Americans.
Clark Kellogg: So he just ripped it off? The Mona Lisa?
Tina Sabatini: The day it arrived here, I was like, nine. My Dad unwrapped it out of this huge crate. There was styrofoam, newspaper, everywhere. And suddenly, there it was. And he turned to me, I'll never forget this, and he said - "Now I'm happy, suga. Now I got the Mona Lisa."
Clark Kellogg: Is it safe here in Queens?
Tina Sabatini: [laughs] Oh, Clark. Oh, people don't steal things from my father.
Tina Sabatini: [Dancing to Nat King Cole's "Mona Lisa"] So, my Dad tells me your from Nebraska.
Clark Kellogg: Vermont.
Tina Sabatini: So, what do you think of New York?
Clark Kellogg: Oh, I stopped thinking. Twenty-four hours ago. I'm going on pure instinct.
Tina Sabatini: Well, that's what your supposed to do in New York.
Leo: Put him in the back seat, with the windows open. They gotta have a lot of fresh air, the gills, or something like that.
Clark Kellogg: He doesn't have any gills?
Leo: Whatever. That's what I was told: fresh air.
Carmine Sabatini: Listen, I want to say something, from my heart. You're a great boy. I mean you are one of a kind.
Clark Kellogg: Thank you.
Carmine Sabatini: No, really, the kind of kids I had working for me were mopey, muddled. But, you, you're from Connecticut!
Tina Sabatini: Listen, you made a commitment to my father. Nobody forced you.
Clark Kellogg: This is beyond commitment. This is like slavery. People telling me when and to whom I'm getting married.
Tina Sabatini: You don't want to marry me?
Clark Kellogg: It was all a set up from the beginning?
Tina Sabatini: Set up is so negative. Clark, there are so many levels to this thing, you can't imagine.
Arthur Fleeber, NYU Professor: It has a real film noir quality, don't you think? Smuggling lizards into New Jersey. I mean if it was done right, black and white, grainy, sort of a "Kiss Me Deadly" film.
Clark Kellogg: Its not an idea for a film. Its my actual life.
Clark Kellogg: Well, I think I better contact a lawyer.
Chuck Greenwald: That's your privilege. You have a lawyer?
Clark Kellogg: My step father, I guess. What?
Lloyd Simpson: Mr. Kellogg, your step father turned you in.
Lloyd Simpson: Mr. Kellogg, I believe you know a Carmine Sabatini, also known as "Jimmy the Toucan?"
Clark Kellogg: I don't believe Mr. Sabatini would do that?
Lloyd Simpson: Well, who do you think he is? Bishop Tutu?
Bert Parks: Tequila! - - Ladies and Gentlemen, your cohost for this evening, Mr. Carmine Sabatini - with Carmine are his beautiful daughter Tina and her fiancé Mr. Clark Kellogg from the great state of Montana! Let's have a nice Gourmet Club welcome for Carmine and the happy couple. - - Tequila!
Victor Ray: Did my Uncle bring you up to date?
Clark Kellogg: Yeah, we're all going to be killed - by Greenwald and Simpson. They're part of the Vannelli family who are working out of South Amboy.
Victor Ray: Well, that's stretching it a little, Clark. There's a *chance* we'll all be killed - its not like a lock.
Bert Parks: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the moment we've all been waiting for. A moment that makes the Gourmet Club the special place that it is. Our main course, served for the very last time, on this - our planet Earth, your Komodo dragon.
Bert Parks: Oh, there he is - your Komodo dragon, Yes, there he is, one of eight. With so many species, he took the town by storm with his - continental taste and charms, And there he is, close from the end, he is, your Komodo dragon.
Bert Parks: [singing] Well, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more; No, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more; When I wake up in the morning, throw my hands and pray for rain, I got a head full of ideas and they're drivin' me insane...
Clark Kellogg: You had a choice - not to turn me in.
Dwight Armstrong, Clark's Step-father: If it was your son, you would have...
Clark Kellogg: If it was my son, I would have treated him like he was my son. If he was my step son, I would have treated him like my son.
Dwight Armstrong, Clark's Step-father: Clark, that animal...
Clark Kellogg: Dwight, good night.
Clark Kellogg: This whole thing's been a scam? This gourmet thing?
Carmine Sabatini: This is an ugly word, this, scam. This is business - and if you want to be in business, this is what you do.
Carmine Sabatini: [Walking the Komodo dragon] What's the matter with you? You turning out to be a bum. Come on, hey, come on. Come on. If it weren't for me you could have been a - could have been a handbag.